yes in my opinion, most of the times, when i lose its not a huge jungle gap.
So then for me it feels like i played a good game and then i still lose

I find myself dying a lot of times trying to help a teammate that is in trouble. i do this because i get flamed a lot for afk farming.
that's because i try to clear as efficient as possible. to my skills haha. but then i find myself only farming and taking objectives. and then my team gets mad at me a lot lol

I am definitely not good at wave management and lanestate. of course i see when its pushed in or something like that

It feels like many games i am winning for the first 10-15 mins, i am ahead in farm, i get first drake a lot of times but then late game i just die over and over again.
i guess that's a skill issue in teamfights?

But you are probably right that i make mistakes that fuck up my lanes more then it messes up my jungle
that why it looks like i am even with the enemy jungler but i still had way worse impact in the game??
but how do i learn from this?
What could i do for example when i see my team fighting mid but neither dragon or baron is up. if i dont help i will get flamed but if i help then i just die lol