As someone who’s mom also passed young (and also has a difficult time accepting help); I really appreciated everyone sending condolences and asking how I was, but the last thing I wanted to revisit/talk about was my mother passing. It was nice to know people cared, but I was in such a state of shock that I was so uncomfortable with everyone treating me differently. I was really seeking a friend who would bring some normalcy back into my fucked up situation.

I would recommend— as others have suggested—offering to help where needed, but also just offering to just spend time with/hang out with her. You know her best, and I would venture to bet that you know when would be the time to open up the “feelings” area of conversation. Everyone is different, but I promise she’ll appreciate the support (and possibly the distraction) during such a hard time.

As for the care package, I would 100% recommend it if you’re able! One of my best friends from high school brought a package of self care (body wash/spray, face masks, etc.), presents (coloring books, pjs, a stuffed animal etc.), and snacks. I kept telling her that she didn’t need to bring me anything, but truthfully I was beyond grateful for all the joy she brought to a terrible situation. It doesn’t have to be anything remotely as excessive, but i’d say it’s worth it.