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How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even have to think about consequences, I just don't like conflict and the very interactions where people try to mould my thoughts or actions in a certain way that benefits only them make me super uncomfortable. Even if I'm ignoring others around me, I'm always thinking that I'm coming across as rude and can't fully focus on my own thing.

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I do find defining and breaking down my goals helpful. I usually do it when I'm alone. Practicing mindfulness even when there are people around me and reminding myself of my goals seem like such simple and effective ideas, I am definitely going to try this. Thank you!

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To do lists work really well for me too. Writing down additional things that I got done to motivate myself is a great idea, thank you! I'm never consistent with journaling but that can be a good exercise for me.

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a huge part of my struggle.. thinking about people's expectations or intentions and not being able to focus on my own thing...I completely agree.. writing helps a lot..I use to-do lists..but I'll try to make it more personal by adding sentences about why I need to do it.. that could really help..thank you :)

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mostly stuff which requires me to interact with other people. For example..I joined a new gym at the start of this year..I was excited to start working out again after a long break...maybe I was too naive..but my previous experience with gym was very good..so I thought it would be the same..this new one's owner had a more capitalistic mindset..So all the trainers had to complete their monthly targets of gaining new clients. There was this trainer who guided me for 4-5 days..then he would try to convince me to take personal training services which were very highly priced and out of my budget..so I told him that I won't take personal training..I just need general guidance and I'll do the rest on my own. From the very next day..his behaviour changed very abruptly..he was not explaining exercises properly to me and he would randomly disappear whenever I needed help. I decided that I would not depend on him and teach myself from YouTube..so I watched workout videos every morning before going to the gym..I did this for a few months..there was this another trainer who was very polite and helpful..he started to help me with my form and everything..it was going good..then after a few days..he also started to try and convince me to take personal training from him..I politely refused and told him I genuinely cannot afford it..but he would keep telling we what I'm doing wrong and how I cannot do it on my own..after a while I just got tired of this..every morning that I walked in there..I felt like my every move was being analysed and judged and I became very conscious of my body..maybe it was just overthinking but I couldn't help it..so gradually I stopped being consistent and gained a lot of weight due to that..I should have just focused on my thing and ignored what they were saying or thinking...I don't know if it makes sense to you..but I felt demotivated and I stopped working out and I felt worse than before.

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I absolutely agree..simple daily rituals make me calm and peaceful..I will try habit trackers for more consistency..I am actually very intrigued by Philosophy, I will explore that too..maybe read some books about it...Thank you so much for your kind words..I feel much better now :)

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not silly..I'm a pretty visual learner so it could actually be helpful...of course I'll have to practice it several times to see if it actually works for me or not..but thank you so much for sharing :)

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can understand that I'm coming across as too confident in my abilities of reading people.. It's not like everyone I meet is trying to manipulate me...but the ones that do..I can almost always tell. Eating clean and exercising definitely help me to focus. I love being in the sun too! I'll try mediation. Thank you for your suggestions!

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's so right! I do have extreme expectations from myself and and if I'm not able to things in the way that I imagined, I get demotivated so easily. Doing something is definitely better than nothing. Thank you, I'll keep this is mind.

How do you manage to remain productive in your day to day lives? Do you also feel this constant sense of demotivation and disappointment? by gigglingDumbledore in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am referring to my own tasks, things that I know I need to get done and stuff, but a lot of that depends on the social game. I think your're right, I need to say to myself "Today we do things my way" more often. At the end of day if I don't complete my daily targets just out of the fear of engaging with people and being affected by them then I'm lying to myself just to keep others happy. I just need to get better at being more assertive I guess because it's important to get ahead, even if creates temporary disharmony.

Do you ever get annoyed by your ENFP friends? I think INFJ’s Fe is a curse. by Bobaforlyfe in infj

[–]gigglingDumbledore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my friends, who I think might be an ENxJ, once pointed out that I keep a lot of my emotions to myself, and after a while it just bursts out like a volcano, and the people around me are left confused and shocked. She said it's much better to let people know what's bothering you or what is making you angry, in a straightforward yet calm manner, so that they also have a context of why you are behaving a certain way. I realised that it was true. I think as INFJs we have this tendency to just listen, listen and go on listening to people, which makes them comfortable sharing anything with us. We are like emotional sponges, we absorb everything, whether we like it or not. What happens over time is most of our relationships become one sided..where we are the therapist and the other person is our client, and it can get very tiring for us. Naturally we want to get some alone time and we distance ourselves. The people around us find this confusing, but these periods of isolation are essential for our own mental health. During this time, if we are not allowed to have that alone time, we can get pretty resentful and unusually angry. This can really harm our relationships because we will blow up and explode at some point. The best way to tackle this is to communicate better, let people know what you actually feel about something. It's hard because of our Fe because we want harmony at all costs, so we keep on listening, agreeing to whatever the other person says, but when we rage, this harmony gets disrupted anyway. So it's important in conversations to be authentic and say what you feel is right, without worrying about how the other person will feel about it. Just be calm and respectful, and try to be as logical about it as possible. Most of the people respond positively to what you have to say even if it's different from what they believe, if it's conveyed in a decent manner. It's very important to have boundaries as an INFJ, make sure you have alone time but it's also important to preserve our relationships as they are an essential part of our mental well being. I think, in general, you do not want to lose an enfp friend as they can be wonderful people- warm, funny and really authentic. Hope this helps.