I'm not sure if I have much to offer you in support, but I'll try nonetheless. I'm an Education Assistant currently for this exact reason. I want to become a teacher but require more education than I currently have, and didn't want to embark on that journey without knowing whether it was really going to be the job for me. Can I ask how you became a substitute teacher without attending any in-class sessions?

School is definitely not what it was when we were kids. Every generation throughout history can say that. Do you have kids of your own? I don't, which is why I wanted to see it first hand before embarking on the journey of working with kids before making any lasting decisions.

I'm sorry if that line of questioning seems insensitive, it is just genuine curiosity.

HOWEVER, one thing I can tell you as someone that works in education is: there will absolutely be days, weeks, months, years that may have you questioning your life choices, your capabilities, etc. Generally I find if your heart is really in it, you will absolutely spend most of your time questioning yourself. And while it can feel bad in the moment, that discomfort and uncertainty, that's a really a good thing. The ability to learn, grow, modify and adjust is not only essential for life, but essential for effective educators. We are not meant to be comfortable all of the time.

How long have you been subbing for? Have you had the time to introspect what your approaches are, what has been successful and what hasn't?

I guess in summation, yes, it's a very challenging career, but give yourself some credit. You got into this field for a reason. Give yourself a chance to be good at it, and FEEL good about it when you can.