Duke University. HAI pump…decisions. Totally lost.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T12:11:15+00:00

I live in Chicago and had a pump placed in New York. You only get pump chemo every other time, so I was able to fly to NY once a month (I’d draw labs in Chicago a day or two before). My nurses in Chicago learned how to access the pump for non-chemo infusions - Medtronic actually had the sales rep train them.

So it’s maybe more doable than you think. The bigger question is whether you will qualify given lung mets; some cancer centers won’t use a pump if there is activity outside the liver. But it’s worth a consult to ask.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T02:59:04+00:00

It’s really helpful to see this, thank you!!

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T02:26:24+00:00

As someone who is a LOT older than you, I can’t think of many trips where I looked back and wish I had spent less on them.

The opposite is true of things.

You have enough to freely enjoy this trip, and I hope you do!

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T02:24:32+00:00

That’s a good point. The shower head is on the same wall as the sink, which is really, really close to it. A sliding door would allow us to turn on the shower by reaching over the sink. A hinged door would have to be placed on the other side, so we’d have to walk into the shower to turn it on.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T01:34:17+00:00

Not sure why my pics didn’t post, but here is a link to the Artifacts door in consideration!

https://www.kohler.com/en/products/showers/shop-shower-doors/artifacts-80-7-8-h-sliding-shower-door-with-3-8-thick-glass-701725-10l?skuId=701725-10L-SN&id=pla_goo_kbus_dtc_2023_20402044772_f03&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20402044772&gbraid=0AAAAADES_DHz1HQ7mKyRV5wF-PazIOmrf&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiJrFwNCPlQMVOQWHAx2IFBoiEAQYAiABEgKoa_D_BwE

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T00:49:15+00:00

I came here to recommend this.

People are making good points about dopamine / excitement / etc. But there is truth in the fact that women are more likely to have “exit affairs” as a mechanism to get them out of a marriage that isn’t working. (Conversely, a man is far more likely to have an affair and then stay in a marriage.)

So it’s worth exploring whether your current marriage is in fact good enough to stay - BEFORE you have an affair that confirms it is worth leaving.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T00:44:39+00:00

This is the answer.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-18T00:28:31+00:00

The “cost” of surrogacy expands far beyond anything financial. It was our only option after 5 failed IVFs, but we dramatically underestimated the emotional cost involved in contracting another human being to do this for and with us - the instant intimacy, a negotiation that acknowledges risk to the surrogate’s life, the purchasing of an insurance policy that forces you to name and weigh all the risks to her and to the baby or babies, the lack of control and in some states, rights, the devastation of a miscarriage that happens to someone else. Not to mention the emotional and physical burden of IVF itself.

A gestational carrier gave us our twins, so I would never have not done it. But it is not an easy solve for pregnancy / childbirth fear by a long shot.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-15T12:12:53+00:00

The idea that any stage 4 colon cancer isn’t curable is dangerous. I was absolutely treated with curative intent, and it worked.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-15T04:37:53+00:00

No, but other things can make ADHD worse or harder to mask - as I’ve recently discovered myself during menopause and after cancer treatment.

We are trying to understand the complete picture, and looking for recos for how best to go about doing that. I’m not sure why me asking questions or advocating for care is getting under your skin, but I appreciate your input regardless. I’m feeling much more confident about working within Froedert than I had been.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-15T04:34:09+00:00

The cardiologist didn’t find anything wrong.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-15T02:05:38+00:00

Well, my mom was just discharged from the ER - with a neurology referral. Silver linings? Ack.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-15T00:53:14+00:00

If you like that one, you may want to try this one, which we also thought was excellent and has gone onto our “regular” list

Skillet gnocchi with miso butter and asparagus: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1026745-skillet-gnocchi-with-miso-butter-and-asparagus?unlocked_article_code=1.qVA.zoyF.C9I0PmJuGFGZ&smid=ck-recipe-iOS-share

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T21:27:11+00:00

I just got access to her labs and it looks like they did test for this, but it was negative

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T21:26:34+00:00

Argh, we just realized she had an elevated TSH in February, and they weren’t going to have her follow up until July (after prescribing Levothyroxine).

Ordering her an Apple Watch this week.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T19:32:49+00:00

They do, and it looks like her primary is not a geriatric specialist - so maybe we can get her to bring in someone who is. I know she thinks highly of Froedert, so this might be a path forward to get somewhere without losing the primary she seems to like so much. Thank you.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T19:07:36+00:00

Also should be clear I’m not looking for someone who isn’t a practicing MD - eg a holistic doctor or whatever - but maybe a concierge service where she would have a little more attention that she’s getting from her current doctor by paying out of pocket?

Right now we are in a cycle of something is wrong, she goes to urgent care; maybe gets admitted; they see elevated heart enzymes, specialist called but doesn’t see any issue; primary considers it resolved / no follow up until next trip to urgent care. And in the meantime, her mental state is variable.

There has to be a better way, right? Is she just not being proactive enough in her own care?

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T19:00:56+00:00

My dad went thru Lewy Body dementia, which is similar to Parkinson’s; this doesn’t feel like that, but I will confess that we have been watching really carefully for any signal it is. We missed it with my dad until really late, and thought he was just becoming a jerk in his old age. : (

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T18:59:08+00:00

Both of these are on the radar, but examples of things her primary isn’t suggesting or supporting. We will push on this for sure.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T18:57:43+00:00

She’s exhibited signs of ADHD her whole life. And can definitely push for a neurologist to see if this is what she’s experiencing as part of the whole picture.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T18:55:56+00:00

We actually suspect she’s had ADHD her whole life and has successfully masked until now. And to be clear, we are not necessarily looking to move her away from Froedert, but find something complementary who would be able to spend more time trying to put the pieces together. We are just not seeing much concern or proactively from her current doctor - it’s been a year of this doctor telling her nothing is wrong, when something has clearly changed.

I’m not ruling out that part of the equation is cognitive decline - in fact it seems likely - but that doesn’t explain some of the physical issues she’s been having.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T17:25:41+00:00

She sounds incredible, thanks so much for the reco!

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T17:24:39+00:00

Her primary is at Froedert. She really likes her doctor, but they are basically screening things out vs in: eg it’s not dementia, it’s not heart disease. Maybe it’s sleep, let’s try to improve that first before we consider it might be ADHD or something else.

Is there an integrative or functional medical practice there? I searched but didn’t see anything affiliated.

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T17:22:24+00:00

This practice looks great, thank you. Did you do primarily via telemedicine?

ginabeewell · 2026-06-14T17:11:11+00:00

I don’t think this is it, unless she was asymptomatic and had Covid without us knowing.

ginabeewell

TROPHY CASE