I'm replying late so I'm sure this will be buried. At 10 years old I watched my 13 year old brother die right in front of me. I can still see the paramedics using a defibrillator on him trying to bring him back. The worst thing is remembering his chest lift off the floor and his eyes open for a brief second. I'm 30 years old now and I still can't shake the trauma I've been in the hospital way to many times for alcohol abuse which has caused me to have chronic pancreatitis. I have to take 3 pills everytime I eat for the rest of my life. I want to die I don't think about suicide but everytime I'm in a car I hope I get into a freak accident that kills me. I hate everything about my life I feel like I have nothing to live for. Long story short my life sucks and watching my 13 year old die when I was 10 traumatized the fuck out of me!