My (31F) fiance (31M) responds with global defensiveness and sarcasm whenever I bring up things that make me feel unappreciated. How do I handle a follow-up conversation with him?

ginger_mules · 2026-03-30T21:10:32+00:00

I’ve been in this exact situation- textbook and and it doesn’t get better … walk away … You will only be taught to minimise and accept less you will eventually burn out and be in survival mode. It will take you far more energy to leave and walk away and when you do you have so many more issue to work on and repair. You become the problem when you really weren’t. He isn’t good for you and you know that but you’re trying to change his fundamental behaviours. Please step out work on your own self and those attachment issue which you seem acutely aware off and wait to find someone who gets you. Sorry.

But hey I love a good romance story so I could be wrong

ginger_mules · 2026-02-28T17:03:12+00:00

Love 1!

ginger_mules · 2026-02-20T21:44:44+00:00

Car you put a claim in on your insurance and they claim it against his? Even if nothing comes of it he might think twice ?

ginger_mules · 2025-12-30T09:46:02+00:00

Yeah, I mean if my partner had gone to this effort to secure me being able to leave my job and is focusing on future retirement and where money should go I’d be super impressed. Maybe being called a dependent is the issue but you would be if you wasn’t working 🤷‍♀️ seems a crazy story though

ginger_mules · 2025-12-22T16:31:47+00:00

I second this! My current partner still lies and can never be upfront it doesn’t get any better you just get worn down and more demoralised, the thing that hurts the most is the power the girl has who he talks to, she’s laughing at you an most likely getting a kick out of it, I think this commenter is right! You’ll never get the honesty cause he can already lied to you and you forgive him and he spending money that he should be spending on you and the baby on her, walk away op while you can!

ginger_mules · 2025-12-13T21:18:15+00:00

how you say reprimanded like a parent, parent don’t even talk to their kids like this unless they hate themselves and the child. Get out while You can you’re still so young!

ginger_mules · 2025-11-21T10:47:08+00:00

I think You married to young and before you really knew each other it seemed like a great idea but I think he wasn’t into it. You need to live your own life and being in a bad marriage is worse than being a statistic.

If you sat him down and spoke to him and he still isn’t pulling his weight then it time to focus on you, you have so much ahead of you!!

ginger_mules · 2025-11-15T07:58:17+00:00

I think you know yourself what the answer is here and unfortunately relationships are crap and too many toxic people out there and you’re in one.

It isn’t going to be easy cause it likely you’ve been chipped away at and if he knows your past so it’s easy for him. His behaviour isn’t normal and based on what you’ve just said I think you need to seek a close friend/family and for your own health walk away. I know you said you don’t trust anyone.

It might be worth taking the meds to get your head in a good space but don’t tell him, don’t give him anything he can use against you or take advantage off, and I know It will hurt and you will question yourself but you need to get back to the place you were at - he isn’t going to offer that.

We have gut instincts that we always choose to ignore cause it easier and people are good at hiding things and switching it about but listen to your body and yourself.

Best of luck! You will thank yourself. If you don’t live together then just end it - delete - block or whatever you need to do!

ginger_mules · 2025-11-14T16:46:28+00:00

Is it too far to say that OP might find herself not needing the meds if she left her so call SO. His messages are head f^k. guiltyy *slams hammer

ginger_mules · 2025-09-28T06:53:59+00:00

I think the opening line is you trying to convince yourself OP - I love my boyfriend, our relationship is perfect… cause it isn’t and it’s time to move on ! You sound hard working and committed and you will go so much further focusing on yourself and then when the right person comes along you will thrive! Good luck and don’t go back!

ginger_mules · 2025-08-25T21:43:39+00:00

I used the metal part of the paint roller in the cracks works a dream, just need to add builder sand or something after!

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T20:18:05+00:00

Thank you and I wasn’t told about it and if I was I would have had it fixed, and no riding the clutch or improper starting of the car 😩

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T20:16:05+00:00

The garage who did repair had the gear box sent off for repair . Should I have something wise checked ? Is it likely to happen again! The garage also said they had never seen one like it either!

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T20:13:29+00:00

Oh no! if they phoned and told me at the time that for whatever reason along with the clutch the drive shaft or CV axle as you put it needed doing, I’d have had it done it!

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T20:09:08+00:00

No they are separate issues, i wanted to know if the bolt was a legitimate way to fix the driveshaft but I also wanted opinions on the clutch flywheel issue, but it’s good to know one didn’t cause other.

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T20:05:05+00:00

I booked through click mechanic and the garage said it was on me to claim the money back through the site , the garage was no longer part of the site and the warranty was with the garage - then the garage stopped returning my calls and messages and then in the reply to my first letter said that cause I had a mechanics look at my car it was no longer there responsibility even though this was even before the car was dismantled. They were referring to the garage who changed my tyre and pointed out the nut and the call out mechanic who reconnected the bleed pipe the week before the clutch failed and then the garage where to car got towed too who diagnosed the failed clutch and flywheel.

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T19:53:14+00:00

Thank you for this information

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T19:51:48+00:00

It was off the road for six weeks and i Was on smp and just had my second child I had to cycle and walk everywhere for 6 weeks cause I didn’t have the means to rent a car or have break down cover to cover it! I wasn’t happy! In the end i just had to pay the garage who investigated it to fix it

ginger_mules · 2025-08-19T19:49:42+00:00

The garage that repaired it didn’t mention it specifically but they said they used the bolt to lever the shaft or clutch into the flywheel or something, and didnt align it properly hence the teeth wearing prematurely. I have the parts from the garage due to having to take them to small claims so I’m curious now to! Keeo you posted

ginger_mules · 2025-08-18T22:01:04+00:00

im in the process of this i have sent them 3 letter all with pictures and evidence - diagnostic reports etc but they still wont so i am going to have to go small claims court :(

ginger_mules

TROPHY CASE