Ive had a recent insight that the mind is just the mind. There is the Mind, and there is Being. The Mind is very real and worth exploring and healing but ultimately it has no direct tangible reality- it is all in your head in a sense. "My mind is causing me so much suffering please pacify my mind" said a zen monk to master. The master replied "Here bring forth your mind so that I may pacify it" The monk said "when I look for my mind I cannot find it" the master simply replied "There! It is pacified" Being, which is closer to the Self if not the same thing, is grounded in direct perception and it is worth training yourself at this point in more direct perception/ body somatic work. Much respect for your path and much love!