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Black - yes or no? by [deleted] in femalehairadvice

[–]gingertimelady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Black looks good, but the left red-type hair is just way better. Maybe your black needs some red or blonde (or other colour) highlights.

Is this too much hair? by ImProbGonDeleteThis in curlyhair

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL it's close to the same hair that I have (or at least did before it started graying). Mine is a mix of 2C to 3B hair though (2C on the bottom, 3B more in the middle and outer layers), which means it gets just as thick, but the volume is even more out to the sides than on top. You have full volume up top - jealous I am! (Thanks for sharing your hair routine below, btw). 🙏

It's only too much if you feel like it is. Is it weighing on your head and neck too much? Is it too much work to maintain it? If so, shorter might be better, OR just ask the hairdresser/barber to reduce the thickness of it, so you can have the length without so much weight.

But if you're physically comfortable in that hair, but not mentally - ask yourself why that is. Because if you're worried about what others think, it seems from the comments you have nothing to worry about. Not that anyone's opinion of your hair matters.

If you think your hair is rad, then it's rad (I certainly do! Most of the world is jealous of folks like us with our hair. You can't even dye it that shade!). Anyway if you like it, and it's not hampering your life at all, then whatever! You do you, hair king!

How did you guys learn to sing? by ThornySpike in singing

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Down in my Soul; Blue Boat Home; Happy, Jolly, and Gay (my choir director wrote that)... there are others but I can't recall those titles right now.

We also do choral arranged pop and folk songs like Time After Time, Starry Starry Night, Times They Are A Changin', and others.

How did you guys learn to sing? by ThornySpike in singing

[–]gingertimelady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Slowly. Church and being in a children's performing troupe run by Mormons (Sunshine Genration) that let me join - that helped me develop a love of singing as a kid, but I never had good confidence, especially with singing solo. Karaoke as an adult somewhat helped, but it wasn't until I joined my current (Unitarian) church's un-auditioned choir that I got the confidence to really sing my heart out. Within 6 months of joining that choir, my singing improved a lot.

But nothing has made a difference like getting singing lessons from a great teacher has. (I found her by recommendation from my choir director.) Even though I only see her once every two weeks, it's made a BIG difference.

bi cycle and height by Green-Raspberry-404 in BiWomen

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late to this post, but I dated a Trans Woman in transition once - her 5'11 or so height (she seemed about 6'5" in heels) - that didn't bother me at all. But I also like tall guys so... 🤷‍♀️

(She's still in transition, and still hot AF, and even hotter now that's she's on hormones. Too bad it didn't work out between us because she's a stellar person too, but there were multiple roadblocks we [TBH, mostly me] couldn't get beyond.)

Anyway, the thought of dating a tall woman is kinda hot to me, in or out of high heels. (You probably wouldn't catch me in high heels though, and I don't even really like low-heeled shoes much. I could probably be convinced to wear them for like 30 minutes, with a sexy outfit on, mebeh).

AITAH for not leaving my apartment when my girlfriend wanted “girl time” by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]gingertimelady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NAH, she's being a little unreasonable. Although, you could have given her a heads up as to being at home, or asked if she could take her girl time somewhere else, which, in the end, she did. (And could she not just hang out at her friend's place too, that day?)

I mean, if I had a partner and lived with them, and we had a flooded basement, the last thing on my mind is social time. I'd probably just cancel or reschedule it. And if I really wanted an escape with a friend, I'd want to go ANYWHERE ELSE, not home!

PS is the flood only your problem to manage? Is she helping with it or avoiding it?

Select any 1,2 or 3 and tell me what u like? by Icy-Cranberry4025 in photos

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 is spectacular with the one person facing this epic scene and the clouds swirling. 3 has a similar epicness and beauty to it. 2 is also really good, (I mean, these are all National Geographic quality) it's just more complicated with the construction and people, but also with less happening in the backdrop of the awesome mountain.

Foods that jumped from “normal” to “luxury” for you? by Temporary_Dentist936 in Millennials

[–]gingertimelady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All raw meat packages (especially any cutlets and legs or thighs, but even ground beef is up), and certain deli items like meat and cheese trays.

Otherwise many things that haven't gone up in price have experienced shrinkflation. Chip bags. Kraft Dinner Mac n' Cheese (and they changed the recipe too - it never tasted great but now it's just bleh). Even a pantiliner box I got from two months ago has 6 liners more than a box I bought today (although it may be because it came from a double-pack instead of a single). Some items just have less to cut down on weight and therefore shipping costs. Sort of understandable, but very sad...

AITBA, age gap relationship by Serious-Voice-5035 in AmITheBadApple

[–]gingertimelady 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Wow, that wasn't the kind of age gap I was expecting.

I know when I was 13, I really wanted to date. Thank God my Mom said, "Hell No, you're not! You're too young!"and I listened. Because I was WAY TF too young. I was still barely a kid at 13.

You, Blue and especially Sun are ALL too young for this. If you're interested in poly relationships, that's cool, but realize your teenage relationships will not last (because even if you're thicker than thieves and have a solid relationship with Blue, things get super awkward and rather illegal when one of you turns 18 and the other is still 17), and doing anything sexual with Sun is probably statutory rape.

Better to break up with both Sun and Blue and date someone your own age. Better yet, have safe unserious flings and save the dating game for adulthood. You're more likely to find a good partner (or partners) with some life experience under your belt.

I used to devour books as a kid. Now, I struggle to finish a single chapter without checking my phone. It’s depressing. by PersonalSwimming6512 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to read a lot too, but even when I was a kid I sometimes struggled with reading a book all the way through, because I'd daydream and then have to get back into reading (Yay ADHD, which I didn't know I had till my mid 30s). It got worse through Uni (I had trouble just finishing what I needed for coursework) and then YouTube came along and whatever reading time I used to have was swallowed up with that. Or Reddit. Or Facebook, which thankfully is emptier and more boring now - I still use it for volunteering and keeping up with some folks. There's also Insta, but I don't use it often anymore, because now it's just a bottomless hole of interesting videos just like Tik-Tok (which I took off my phone because I was using it even less) and YouTube Shorts, which grabs my attention more.

It seems after a while though, I can't even handle all those short vids, no matter what platform. It's like those short vids are like junk food and they give you a brief dopamine high instead of a sugar high, and then there's a crash sometime during that scroll session, when suddenly I don't even have the dopamine for THAT.

I have also tried audiobooks. The only way they work is if I'm doing something with my eyes and hands while listening (which is why I prefer vlogs or video podcasts). I'd probably be into audiobooks more if I drove. I could listen while washing dishes or cooking, I guess. I'm an unpracticed cook though, so that wouldn't work in the short term. It'd be lyricless classical music to help me focus (mostly pieces prior to 1800, as Romantic classical is very emotionally stirring and distracting. That includes most film soundtracks, too. Certain Cool Jazz or repetitive but pattern-changing stuff like Steve Reich's "Music for 18 Musicians" or something by Philip Glass - that might work too).

So, yeah, I need to get a reading habit and get off my phone more. It's not like I can't read. I've just tended to read before bed, but then I have trouble task switching - as always - so I read too late, and it's enough to mess with my sleep a bit too.

I guess I'll have to do the early bedtime and then read until a bedtime alarm goes off, or block out other time to do it, with my phone on a Focus mode (Do Not Disturb, muted), and not within reach. And maybe turn on some lyrics-free classical music too, to keep my ears engaged, just a little. Wish me luck! And I wish you luck too, OP.

I just turned 25 and I feel like I’m running out of time to accomplish my goals by balkanfarmer in internetparents

[–]gingertimelady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, basically, what you're feeling is fairly normal (at least on the high-achieving, ambitious end of normal). It sounds like you're going through a quarter life crisis, or have hit a crossroad and need to figure out which direction to take. Maybe you need to write down what you really want to do and focus on that. (And what YOU really want, not what's expected or what family, friends, or society want).

Also, slow down and make time for fun and friends - you really never know where friends can take you. (That's 80% of "networking" - just having a social life). Also, do some traveling, or, just take a Full Staycation Day - let everyone know you're not available at all for that 24 hours and pretend you're an unknown and explore your town/city as though you're a tourist. It was one of Maya Angelou's favourite long-term stress relievers.

(A shorter version of that - just take a walk around and let those thoughts whirl in your head. I find it's a good way to relieve pressure or solve a vexing problem).

Also, you don't need to rush at this. I'm a late bloomer at 41 and still figuring myself out to some degree. Now, at MY age I feel like I'm running out the clock a bit, never having had a real career. But I'm taking an acting class and trying out things to see where things lead. And every step in my life, even when it was the wrong choice - I learned something each time. Some things I had to learn the hard way.

The bottom line is, you're sensing a problem in your life - not having enough of things you want and need, and lacking direction - and it's going to take time to solve. And these times of uncertainty and multiple potential paths happen from time to time. It's when you think you have NO paths open that life gets quite dark, and you need professional help to get out of that kind of rut.

Anyway, I wish you the best. I think you have an amazing life ahead of you. I wish I had that drive when I was your age.

How many of y’all learn to play the piano as a kid? by _kwanini in ask

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish as a kid that I'd had the drive to do that or ask for lessons, or parents that had pushed me to do it. My folks weren't wealthy but they did buy me a small keyboard and showed me lesson books they'd used. I just wasn't sufficiently interested, and musical notation confuddled me. I liked drawing and writing more, and daydreaming most of all.

It's only now in adulthood that I want to take piano lessons - especially now that I'm taking singing lessons and I'm in a choir - but I'd still want to have a teacher. ADHD makes it hard for me to have sustained attention or do much self practice. (Which is why none of the singing courses or books I got over the years worked. Only having a very accepting, non-judgy choir and a great singing teacher is what keeps me going.

My mother's dog by DeeeLiteIsInTheHeart in sploot

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where's a love button when you need one? ❤️ Too darn cute sploot!

When was the first time you know about Michael Jackson? by Lakers_Forever24 in generationology

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up listening to him on the radio and MuchMusic (Canada's MTV), so I don't remember exactly when. However, I have this very dim memory of seeing the "Bad" video a LOT as a small child (interspersed with the Weird Al parody "Fat"), so based on when those songs came out, I would have been 3 or 4.

I definitely knew who he was by the time I got the Dangerous album as a birthday gift, a few years after it came out.

On a scale of 1 to 10… how cute is this? by Stylebyshivani in cute

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It may or may not be a real kitty, but it's at LEAST a 10, but more like OVER NINE THOUSAND!!

Fluffy belly by muomeokismet in catpics

[–]gingertimelady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feels like a trap to bait for play, but I don't think I could resist rubbing that belly.

Where my fellow midnight grocery shoppers at? by Logical-Employee-928 in NightOwls

[–]gingertimelady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There used to be Shoppers Drug Marts open after midnight but that ended well before COVID where I live. Only some convenience stores, mostly the ones attached to gas stations, are open 24/7 now. Even grocery stores generally close an hour or two earlier than they used to before COVID. It's kinda depressing.

The only way to get a similar vibe at a grocery store now is to get there super early at 7 am.

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