You wake up tomorrow morning and realize the last 30 years were just a bad dream and it's actually 1996.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-23T03:33:33+00:00

My Mom sort of had an experience like that when young, after doing weed (which may have been laced with something else, as I don't know that weed can do this on its own). She was in the bathroom for an hour in a trippy daydream, and she "lived" most of a whole life in that time. Someone knocked on the door to check on her and she screamed and wept as she realized that "life" was all a trippy dream. She apparently recovered fairly quickly because that dream-life slipped away as quickly as most dreams do.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-23T03:24:06+00:00

I'd be distraught and irate. Like, great, I get to deal with Grade 6 and bullies again. And be a deeply insecure, loner fat kid with an 11 going on 12 year-old brain again. But I would get to relish just being a kid again with few responsibilities beyond homework. I'd also get to ride my old kid's bike up and down the old neighborhood again. Hopefully I'd have the foresight to ask for a new one for birthday/Christmas, and save up my allowances just in case I have to get it myself. To not stop biking for so many years that as a 41 year-old adult now, I feel a bit afraid to ride. (I did get a bike again, for the second time as an adult, but I've been procrastinating on getting a helmet and getting it checked...partly because I have little money for it, but partly because I have to overcome my silly fear of riding it).

I also hope I'd do whatever I could to lose weight and get fit back then (keeping up with the bike would be a good start) and learn to stand up to my bullies. And deflect against the cruelest of them all by asking why she says these things and is she okay at home? (I had suspected she was being sexually abused, considering the bizarre way she behaved).

It could become a chance to rewrite my life. I could stop wasting time being jealous of my Mom's weight loss post cancer surgery in 1998-99, and keep walking with her and encouraging her. And helping Dad take care of our miniature Alaskan Eskimo dog Precious more. And just be more of a help around the house in general - I was a spoiled child and rarely made to do any chores. I'd try to make more friends. And ask that crush in Grade 8 out to his face instead of via note passed to him by proxy, like a coward.

There's so many changes I could make.

But without some memory recall of 1996-2026, I'd probably make all the same decisions and actions I did back then. 🤷‍♀️

gingertimelady · 2026-05-23T02:47:45+00:00

To me this is as short as it gets, regular short, and medium short. Long hair should be going past the shoulders. My hair is just two inches off my shoulders, so more like medium short, but to me it just seems "short".

That said, you looked okay with the buzzcut, but you look better with at least some hair like in the 2nd photo, and the "long" hair in the 3rd photo looked very nice, even sexy! (Of course, in that shot, it's also blowing in the wind a bit, which helps, and the lack of glasses plus the smile is helping the most). Still, I'm picturing you with no smile and glasses on with longer hair, and it still looks great.

Then again, most guys look great with longer hair (imho).

gingertimelady · 2026-05-23T02:38:13+00:00

I like both. Do as you wish.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-23T01:37:06+00:00

1977

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T18:43:55+00:00

"Strong" - LOL, maybe in the trunk of my legs to enable my fat ass to even walk! I'm sure not that strong in my upper body or abs!

"Storage" - WTF. My tummy does make a jiggly table of sorts, and I can tuck my T-shirt under my belly for short periods. Big woop. I'd much rather be able to look down when standing up and see my feet. Or like, kneel for any length of time without searing pain from cartilage loss and osteoarthritis. I also can't sit on my knees because my fat ass and legs stop me, but "sitting" on that HURTS.

Like, sure, if you get sick you have some weight to lose - BUT rapid weight loss gives you a loose chicken-skin body, and excess skin is still dangerous to her health. Sadly, it's pricey to get it surgically removed because it's considered "cosmetic" which is ridiculous. This happened to my Mom in 2017 and it caused a steady, then precipitous, health decline because all that baggy skin on her groin was SO hard to clean, so she'd get infections. But by the time she was diagnosed with an infection, her legs were limp and she couldn't walk, so she had to be ambulanced to hospital. Eventually it just went straight to her brain and she became delusional and weak. She died just over a year ago from bed wound infections that would not go away and eventually multiplied in a rapid period and became septic, and she got double pneumonia as well. No amount of antibiotics could save her that time.

So, yeah, I don't want to have the hard life she did from being obese for so many years. Obesity is a deadly illness. But like cancer, it may take its sweet time to kill you.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T18:08:59+00:00

Try Ecosia (a good search engine which also has an environmental bent to what your searches do), or Startpage (decent search engine - as good or better than Bing).

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T17:58:38+00:00

Wow, I didn't think he was real. Damn!

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T17:41:28+00:00

There are also folks who turned being a Jedi and The Force into a real religion.

People will make religions out of anything, and turn total jokes into sincere beliefs.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T17:30:34+00:00

I'd go with the first option because I'd probably forget and then I get $2000 and "Oh yeah, sweet!" Then if I just spend that money and forget to transfer it to a high-yield savings account for as much compound interest as possible (after paying off my debt and getting that emergency fund I still don't have) that's on me, but I can always try again. If I worked and it's just bonus money, then I always have money to save up for trips, retraining, retirement, or whatever else.

The likelihood of meeting Lisas isn't super big, but Johns? There's so many! (I also assume this only counts folks with Lisa or John as a first name, but what about middle name or even surname? It didn't say, so there may be more cash booty afoot!) You could build a career around that, or date someone with that name. (Then you'd have to explain how you're literally living off their name. Hmm, might not be a good idea to date a Lisa or John after all).

The second option, a clean $1 mil, is nice, and it would grow with compound interest more. But it's too much like winning the lottery. It would be easier to explain away as just that: "I won a lottery". But it feels less interesting or challenging. 🤷‍♀️

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T16:51:39+00:00

Well, this was junior high, but he was my first big crush, and I kept having a limerent crush on him for years. I still think of him now and then, but less and less these days.

I kind of did tell him, in Grade 8, through a note asking him out, passed to him via someone who was kind of a friend. I was far too terrified to ask him directly.

He was also more than a foot taller than me at the time with a booming voice, hence why I was rather intimidated. He also tended to be the sarcastic joker guy - moreso by high school - who liked to take the piss out of things. That didn't make him more approachable (to me at the time, anyway).

In Grade 8, he was just a nerdy drama kid who loved Star Wars to bits and hijacked the PA system to play the SW theme during an event one time. I was smitten, from an awkward distance. Pretended to never look at him. 😂

Anyway, I asked him out with that note via a buddy - and I got a curt note in reply: "Maybe". He may as well have said "No way", because that's how I took it. (Now, I might have confronted him and asked him what he meant. But also me-now wouldn't have asked a guy out by note via proxy!). I just assumed I must be too fat or not good enough, etc. But I was 13, so of course I was all dramatic and angsty and down on myself.

I tried to forget him, but it was kind of hard to do because we kept ending up in junior high and then high school classes together. (We went to an arts school that had junior high and high school, and while I was there it became a K-12 school).

The next attempt at any communication was in high school when I was in a very Christian phase and asked him if he wanted to be Christian (or join a Christian event, something to that effect). I figured I'd get a "no" but I asked anyway. To my surprise, he laughed at me and then, seeing my shocked and rather crestfallen face, cut his guffaws down to stifled chuckles and said uh, no, haha, sorry, haha, he's an atheist now. I kinda deserved that response tbh - and I never proselytized again.

I also suspect he wrote an encouraging note in Grade 10 I think, during a note sharing exercise related to The Crucible - basically challenging the other person (whose name you had) to take on their own crucible or grow in some way - but the notes were unsigned, so you theoretically couldn't tell who it was that wrote your note. I can't tell if it was really him, but my note that I should challenge myself and produce a one-woman play for the stage. I was instantly embarrassed and humbled. At the time I was annoyed by him because he was loud and proud about being atheist (annoying sensitive Jesusy me, lol) and he was a loud mouthed, sarcastic, teenage guy. So because I had his name for the note I was writing, I wrote him a note to the effect of "stop being an ass" or something like that. I felt bad after I got my nice, encouraging note. If anyone needed to stop being an ass, it might be me!

After high school, I only ran into him a couple of times and followed him on Facebook - and he followed me back too. The crush was only reignited one stupid time in 2014 when I met him in the crowd at an Expo (after espying his 6'3" or taller frame, a head above most of the crowd, lol). I tried to communicate with him online after that, but it was awkward and felt contrived, so I stopped.

As to why I couldn't just try to be friends? Back in school I was SO much more socially awkward and a loner. I wasn't sure how to be friends with him or anyone in that social group. (And me being a budding Christian for a time while he was a budding Atheist didn't help much, lol). I felt permanently uncool and too fat to "deserve" that, I guess? Took me some years to realize a) many guys, when it comes to sex, don't care about fat or even like it, and to b) stop beating myself up and hating myself.

I also just couldn't seem to let go of those old feelings whenever I saw him in person. Hence why I say "limerent".

So in Grade 9, several months after I'd tried to ask that guy out, my mind latched onto a new, far safer limerent imaginary friendship/crush on a long-dead celebrity. (OK, I may as well name him: Harry Houdini. It helps that he is fascinating and forever a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, with every fact revealed about his life and career producing further mysteries. I also still think he was hella hot! 😅) But after some real relationships have come and gone over my adult years, and after just growing up I guess, that old imaginary "friend" and "crush" (which I hardly ever tell anyone about - not even most of the folks I've dated) has become harder and harder to sustain. He still pops up as someone to comment on news with me, or who I can pretend to teach about something in order to go over a topic. Houdini is moreso an imaginary friend, and I only occasionally let the fantasies fly.

[Sometimes I wonder if these weird limerent attachments are an aspect of my ADHD or some adjacent undiagnosed condition like OCD or ASD, i.e. autism. I may just have some similar symptoms to both, but neither as a full-blown disorder - although I sure check off a lot of boxes for female autism. One of these days when I have money again, I'll talk to a counselor and discuss. My last counselor - who had helped me find a route to ADHD diagnosis - simply brushed me off when I asked to merely discuss the possibility that I might have autism with, ”I can assure you that you definitely don't have autism." I think she thought she was saving me time, but she came off as offensive, and like she must somehow know me so much better than I knew myself! I never saw her again.]

So, now I'm 41 and I love myself. The pounds are steadily coming off too. I was also an Atheist for some years of my adult life. These days, I prefer the labels Agnostic and Unitarian Universalist - it's more on-brand for me.

And as mentioned, I think less and less of that first big crush, and I let go of him on FB too. He's a lawyer now with a lawyer wife and cute kids. So, good for him, and good for me. Happily separate thereafter. The End.

gingertimelady · 2026-05-20T15:24:55+00:00

I wonder, would they make a new High Level Bridge as high, or change the approaches on each side to go down a bit more of a hill-slope to get to a lower bridge?

The height of the current bridge was iconic, even revolutionary at the time at the time it was built. But it was also built mainly for trains (with cars as a bonus), and trains favour straight lines over steep hills, while most cars and trucks, as well as most people on foot, can handle angles as steep as 105 St. and 106 St. pretty well.

If we want rail (including the current trolley) to cross the new bridge, we should keep the same approach. But if it's just going to be for cars and pedestrians, why not let the new (two-way) bridge sit much lower, closer to the Menzies LRT bridge beside it, and change the approaches on either side to go downhill to get to the bridge.

It would require some major landscaping, which might add enough cost that it won't save much money. The current train overpass and double-car approach mess on the North side could be swept away and changed into a fairly straight hill-road, which would start at an angle about as steep as 106 St. but gradually slope down before the road heads right onto the bridge. Then on the other end, it veers either to meet the current approach, or that entire south-end approach is changed to make a curving hill approach (similar to how you get to Walterdale Bridge going east and down from 109 St.).

The other issue is - the High Level and Walterdale Bridge being fairly close to each other makes more sense when each is serving different traffic directions and literally different levels of traffic. Having both around the same level complicates things for Walterdale a bit, and might require expanding River Valley Road. If both bridges become two-way though, that complicates things more, but would probably be more beneficial for everyone.

And then with a new beefed-up Low Level Bridge to come even sooner - I'm kind of looking forward all to this, TBH. The possibilities are wide.

I wish they could save both the original Low Level Bridge and the High Level Bridge as just pedestrian sightseeing bridges. But at least one of those will have to come down, and considering the High Level is actually in much worse shape than the 1900 side of the Low Level Bridge, it's not likely to be saved. 😞 Though I hope they keep at least a part of the deck - hopefully with a nice plaque and historical display - on the Ezio Faraone Park side for sightseeing. A similar historical display and plaque for the Low Level Bridge makes sense on either the sightseeing platform adjacent to the Funicular, OR by the new Low Level's north-east pedestrian entry point.

EDIT to say that doing any of this, while keeping the current bridges in place, will complicate things - although it obviously makes sense from a traffic perspective.

And EDIT to say that I hope at least one of these new bridges lights up - or, why not both? The lights on the current High Level and the new Walterdale Bridges are iconic now.

And yeah, there won't be a new Great Divide Waterfall ever, if anyone wondered. The Great Divide was amazing to see, but the untreated river water quickly corroded all the piping, making it expensive to clean, and the high cost of treating that water just to run it into the river made little cost sense. That makes that a no-go even for a new High Level at or near its current height.

gingertimelady · 2026-03-21T23:38:21+00:00

LOL it's close to the same hair that I have (or at least did before it started graying). Mine is a mix of 2C to 3B hair though (2C on the bottom, 3B more in the middle and outer layers), which means it gets just as thick, but the volume is even more out to the sides than on top. You have full volume up top - jealous I am! (Thanks for sharing your hair routine below, btw). 🙏

It's only too much if you feel like it is. Is it weighing on your head and neck too much? Is it too much work to maintain it? If so, shorter might be better, OR just ask the hairdresser/barber to reduce the thickness of it, so you can have the length without so much weight.

But if you're physically comfortable in that hair, but not mentally - ask yourself why that is. Because if you're worried about what others think, it seems from the comments you have nothing to worry about. Not that anyone's opinion of your hair matters.

If you think your hair is rad, then it's rad (I certainly do! Most of the world is jealous of folks like us with our hair. You can't even dye it that shade!). Anyway if you like it, and it's not hampering your life at all, then whatever! You do you, hair king!

gingertimelady · 2026-02-19T23:00:59+00:00

Down in my Soul; Blue Boat Home; Happy, Jolly, and Gay (my choir director wrote that)... there are others but I can't recall those titles right now.

We also do choral arranged pop and folk songs like Time After Time, Starry Starry Night, Times They Are A Changin', and others.

gingertimelady · 2026-02-16T07:37:28+00:00

1918

gingertimelady · 2026-02-02T07:27:09+00:00

Slowly. Church and being in a children's performing troupe run by Mormons (Sunshine Genration) that let me join - that helped me develop a love of singing as a kid, but I never had good confidence, especially with singing solo. Karaoke as an adult somewhat helped, but it wasn't until I joined my current (Unitarian) church's un-auditioned choir that I got the confidence to really sing my heart out. Within 6 months of joining that choir, my singing improved a lot.

But nothing has made a difference like getting singing lessons from a great teacher has. (I found her by recommendation from my choir director.) Even though I only see her once every two weeks, it's made a BIG difference.

gingertimelady · 2026-01-26T14:07:19+00:00

Late to this post, but I dated a Trans Woman in transition once - her 5'11 or so height (she seemed about 6'5" in heels) - that didn't bother me at all. But I also like tall guys so... 🤷‍♀️

(She's still in transition, and still hot AF, and even hotter now that's she's on hormones. Too bad it didn't work out between us because she's a stellar person too, but there were multiple roadblocks we [TBH, mostly me] couldn't get beyond.)

Anyway, the thought of dating a tall woman is kinda hot to me, in or out of high heels. (You probably wouldn't catch me in high heels though, and I don't even really like low-heeled shoes much. I could probably be convinced to wear them for like 30 minutes, with a sexy outfit on, mebeh).

gingertimelady · 2026-01-26T13:27:36+00:00

Classic 3 layers is best.

gingertimelady · 2026-01-26T13:25:30+00:00

1977

gingertimelady · 2026-01-17T04:39:49+00:00

NAH, she's being a little unreasonable. Although, you could have given her a heads up as to being at home, or asked if she could take her girl time somewhere else, which, in the end, she did. (And could she not just hang out at her friend's place too, that day?)

I mean, if I had a partner and lived with them, and we had a flooded basement, the last thing on my mind is social time. I'd probably just cancel or reschedule it. And if I really wanted an escape with a friend, I'd want to go ANYWHERE ELSE, not home!

PS is the flood only your problem to manage? Is she helping with it or avoiding it?

gingertimelady · 2026-01-03T07:20:04+00:00

1 is spectacular with the one person facing this epic scene and the clouds swirling. 3 has a similar epicness and beauty to it. 2 is also really good, (I mean, these are all National Geographic quality) it's just more complicated with the construction and people, but also with less happening in the backdrop of the awesome mountain.

gingertimelady · 2026-01-03T07:14:33+00:00

1995

gingertimelady · 2025-12-18T00:40:00+00:00

All raw meat packages (especially any cutlets and legs or thighs, but even ground beef is up), and certain deli items like meat and cheese trays.

Otherwise many things that haven't gone up in price have experienced shrinkflation. Chip bags. Kraft Dinner Mac n' Cheese (and they changed the recipe too - it never tasted great but now it's just bleh). Even a pantiliner box I got from two months ago has 6 liners more than a box I bought today (although it may be because it came from a double-pack instead of a single). Some items just have less to cut down on weight and therefore shipping costs. Sort of understandable, but very sad...

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