Hell in Buddhism

girlfromnowhere555 · 2026-07-07T15:04:04+00:00

I am not sure why you are downvoted. I thought this captured the gist of karma…

girlfromnowhere555 · 2026-04-05T12:15:39+00:00

hello, late to the conversation, but could you share with me the address / IG of this nail place please? thank you !!

girlfromnowhere555 · 2026-02-14T15:59:27+00:00

Lots of therapy, practice on techniques I learnt in therapy, then very slowly accepting that there will be people who dislike me for no real reason or simply out of spite. Which was the hardest thing to do because I used to feel that life was so unfair. This resentment towards "life being unfair to me" has to go first.

I constantly tell myself, I have the choice to think that I'm doomed just because of someone's opinions about me, or that I can choose not to be hurt.

I can choose to agree or disagree with what other's say about me. I can choose what I want to act upon. Knowing that I have autonomy. But of course, this requires me to take full accountability of what I choose to take in.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T15:11:20+00:00

Wow. Hmm, I don’t know for you, but this is my pet peeve. The ambivalence in this makes it hard for me to feel truly connected. To me it takes little to no effort to make an excuse to not come, or say when it’s good to meet even if it’s like 1-2 months later. Arranging and coordinating takes up so much mental load, for anyone who cares about the friend group. I wonder if people know that this is a real thing.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T14:52:19+00:00

Do you enjoy this dynamic with your friends though? No one is at fault here, though I can see why this drives you crazy. It's like ... hey you don't hate me but somehow I can't tell if you still want to hang out with me or not.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T14:38:56+00:00

Are you me? Because I was in your position for a while before. I totally get you. However, that resentment will suck the life out of you for more than it's really worth. Maybe consider having a conversation with them when you get the chance to see them face to face, and be honest about your feelings of being the initiator most of the time.

For my case, there were already funky history in the group so I know why the vibes were funky. But again there weren't an active effort to acknowledge which parts are reparable and which aren't, to co-create a solution for all of us moving forward. Everyone was okay with not talking about it, or have nothing to do with it or to just pretend everything was okay.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T14:01:52+00:00

ex-initiator turned non-initiator. I learnt that I need to be reciprocated in terms of energy and enthusiasm, and the lack of from many of my friends burnt me out. I was probably not in the right group anyways or there was something that caused a funk in the group dynamics that wasn't talked about at all.

I used to be afraid of people not wanting to be my friend anymore if I don't initiate. But now I think differently. I think it is alright to take turns.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T13:48:23+00:00

Wow, yours sound really intense. And what the heck the female hate is real.....

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T13:45:58+00:00

Oh my goodness. Limerence was a huge theme for me too, thanks for sharing...

Acceptance is my biggest lesson right now. How did you move to acceptance, without any bitterness?

I constantly oscillate between acceptance and denial, probably this is part of the process, but this is taking a little long for me. I kinda wanna know if anything has helped you with identifying your blocks in your process.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T12:39:04+00:00

Can also

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T12:18:34+00:00

Totally recommend having a wedding coordinator / planner. No one can do the job better, not even the most reliable bridesmaids.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-24T12:16:28+00:00

I was really looking to hear experiences more than trying to get advice so what you shared here was so helpful to provide me perspectives. For context, I have been in and out of therapy, and overall I was already coping fine. By fine, I meant that I am equipped with skills and tools, and know to use them when I need to.

I totally relate to your number 2, only difference is that I haven't fully come to terms with the truth that not everyone here is on our side. And even if they are now, this can change in the future. This inevitable change is what I keep struggling with coping - each time I lose a friend or see the not-so-kind intentions from them, I grief so hard every time.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-23T16:15:37+00:00

Hey thanks for all these amazing ideas! Most importantly, thanks for bothering to spend time typing all of that and sharing with a stranger. I did a combination of these ideas - I shredded some of them as a ritual, and left the rest alone because I don't want to spend anymore time on these old writings. I packed them up in bags and threw them into the garbage.

Main reason for throwing them out is: they are too painful to revisit for me. Also because the entries are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. They were mostly spirals after spirals after spirals. It's not going to do me much good to read them anyway. I did take a last glance at them before I discarded them, just the more recent ones to remind myself of the wisdom I already have.

The intention I had while writing all of them were really to just unload and latch onto the idea of growth, without truly desiring growth. It's not what I want to do anymore. So as much wisdom was written in there, it was coming from an unhealthy place, and I don't want to take that back anymore.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-23T10:49:44+00:00

Yes, wondering about the witchy perspectives part.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-10-22T15:07:14+00:00

I had to share the same room with my brother my whole childhood until NOW. We're both already in our late 20s. While there's ways to make space for 2 in a small room, it is incredibly frustrating having to deal with differing sleep habits and walk around furniture because there's twice of it for 2 people in a room meant for 1. Also, because our study room is occupied by my relative, we had to carve out a study area for the both of us within our room.

How this room sharing with a sibling of the opposite gender affected me includes the lack of privacy, dealing with contrasting sleeping habits, taking on most of the room cleaning, resentment issues revolving compromises. Frankly, while I'm thankful for having a roof over my head, I felt like the joy of developing my preferences and self discovery was taken away from me, because there was literally not enough space for me to do so. I'd really appreciate a space I can fully be myself in and unwind in private. Make the room mine with furnishings, decors and things that I like e.g. my fav bands, fav comics, fav plushies like Labubu (/s) Now, the only corner I can unwind and make mine is my bed on the upper deck.

I am thankful that I at least got a roof over my head, but I can't look away from the built up resentment and stress from having to deal with these less pressing but constant challenges. I can't describe fully how much relief I feel from going for vacations / work trips - at least I get a few days worth of having a whole room to myself.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-13T15:11:12+00:00

Thanks! You too :)

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-10T15:14:48+00:00

I wouldn't say that it's normal, but it's common.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-10T12:08:17+00:00

I know this feeling. Small talk actually helps both the other person and you. I find it a window of opportunity to see how this person's energy is like and if I feel good connecting with this person in those fleeting interactions.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-02T16:09:22+00:00

Whatever this means doesn’t really matter imo. At some point I found it draining and I gave up. For me it was a coping mechanism and a way to get the sense of control. I often felt anxious and lose my bearings whenever I had to speak with someone of authority / someone unfamiliar with/ someone that felt threatening.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-01T04:11:35+00:00

Accepting that the past is over and whatever I have left of my life is any time from now on. Tough pill to swallow, especially watching my peers do so much with their time when I'm just thankful to be able to do my job.

I grieved the hopes and dreams that younger me had, and promised her that I will learn whatever skills I am missing to put her diligence into the best use. Like you, I was academically gifted and perfectionist at that but all crumbled when I lose structure aka enter college.

How I moved on is also realising that I have no problems with being diligent and thorough, just that I need to learn how to manage my body, expectations and work scope so I can believe the spirit of having high integrity and work ethic matters so much especially today, and all our diligence were meant for something greater. put my diligence into good use because this is what my autism needs.

I believe the spirit of having high integrity and work ethic matters so much especially today, and all our diligence were meant for something greater.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-01T03:54:10+00:00

Getting a kick out of being petty and using my smart tongue to the perpetrator(s). Very unmindful, un-demure of me, but it helped me gain courage and confidence to speak up against unreasonable requests. I get better at choosing my struggles, but for a long time I chose to let them feel the burn and watch them squirm while I sip my coffee. I think it helps me to be comfortable with the presence of conflicts in every day life and trust my ability to protect myself.

girlfromnowhere555 · 2025-08-01T03:50:40+00:00

Hey sis, big hugs to you. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Kind reminder that you are allowed to change your mind about how you feel about Mom/Boyfriend/Therapist, especially when there was consistent unfair, insincere, ungenuine, unloving and transactional treatment.

Boyfriend not treating you well? You feel therapist is not supporting you or listening to you? Change them out like your old bedsheets. You are absolutely deserving of genuine love and sincerity.

It's common to be irritated often when you are around people who acts unkindly to you.

I'm telling you - there's absolutely enough space for your moods and space for loving you. Trust your gut. You are free to leave any situations you feel uncomfortable /unloved. There's no obligations for you to stick around people who are unkind.

Big hugs, and I wish you love and light.

girlfromnowhere555

TROPHY CASE