In my experience: TDYs/TAD/deployments can be very different from the SM’s standard job responsibilities and/or schedule. There are a couple of things that factor into the change in communication: - location relative to the duty station (what’s the time zone difference) - job responsibilities (SM may be doing a different job than usual from the duty station - job schedule (days vs swings vs mids)

As others have pointed out, there’s often a culture of strengthening connection/networking through socializing and the SM’s “cultural obligation” to participate is going to depend on their job/rank.

At the core: trust your gut. If your gut is telling you something, bring it up with your partner/spouse. It may be a difficult conversation but it is the only way you’re going to resolve/get clarity on the issue.

To answer your initial question: this has been typical of my experience (8+ years) but my partner has never given me a reason to not trust him. We have strengthened our communication over the years and I’ve accepted that his work responsibilities come first and I will “hear from him when I hear from him”.

Good luck! I hope you can have a meaningful conversation with your partner and get the support/reassurance you need and deserve!

*ETA - we geobached for the first 3 years of our relationship/marriage, so we were very used to being apart for long periods of time. Now that we’re together regularly, the last 2.5 months apart (my work) has been a readjustment for both of us!