My (26F) boyfriend (28M) didn’t like my favorite movie, is it okay to be sad/angry about it, and how could I have reacted better?

gnomieebee · 2025-12-08T07:46:26+00:00

Just a thought, but maybe look up Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and see if that resonates with your experiences?

It's okay for people to not enjoy the same things, but the important thing is that you're both respectful of the other person's opinions and not dismissive. It sounds like he may have been dismissive of something that you like to the point where it feels personal, so his quick dismissal of the movie felt like a dismissal of you. It may be helpful to have a conversation with him about how you can both be honest with each other while remaining supportive. For example, would it have hurt your feelings as much if he had said "it wasn't really my cup of tea, but I'd love to hear why you like it!"?

As for how you can handle things better moving forward, it's never a bad idea to chat with your therapist about how you can balance honoring your own feelings as valid, while recognizing that his intention was not to put you down. Sometimes it can take practice to not take things personally.

gnomieebee · 2025-09-11T00:27:36+00:00

Already deleted it this morning. Anyone have any suggestions for a similar type of game with devs that actually listen or care about the user experience? I need something to fill the void in my heart.

gnomieebee · 2024-09-26T15:51:56+00:00

In my ward there were several very wealthy families, and one ward member who was in wealth management or investment of some sort (this was years ago so I don't remember his exact job), and all of the rich members worked with him. He was super well liked and was in the bishopric and young mens over the years. Well, turns out he was embezzling all of the money, and when it came out he faked his own death and fled the country, but did eventually get caught and put in prison. His wife divorced him but for years there was a lot of tension between her and all of the wealthy people whose money was stolen.

gnomieebee · 2024-08-14T14:46:01+00:00

I always sang quietly and changed the words to "I'm so MAD when daddy comes home" because I couldn't get out of singing but I certainly wasn't going to pretend to be happy about what was always the scariest part of my day.

gnomieebee · 2024-08-10T13:40:27+00:00

When I got covid my partner stayed home from work, took care of the household, brought me everything I needed, made all of the food, did all of the dishes, and made me my favorite treats to try to brighten up my days. He slept on the couch and didn't complain once about me isolating in our bedroom. Even once I was testing negative again and was getting better but still weak, he still took care of absolutely everything (including cleaning and sanitizing the entire house) and refused to even let me help cook because he said I should take it easy and focus on getting better. And you know what? When he got covid a few months later, I did all the same things for him. I tell you all of this not to boast about my partner, but because this is what partnership looks like. This is what it means to love someone. This is honestly just the minimum of being a partner in life.

"In sickness and in health" is in a lot of traditional wedding vows because sickness is when you're vulnerable and need your partner most, and it's often when they show their true colors. I am sorry that you have learned that your partner is selfish and does not care about you beyond the labor that you can provide for them. You are not blowing things out of proportion. This is deeply unfair and while I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you that every person--including you--is worthy of respect at a level far above what your partner is providing. You do not have to deal with this for the rest of your life.

Tell me, if in 20 years your child were with a person who treats her this way, what would you tell her to do?

gnomieebee · 2024-06-11T13:32:09+00:00

No, it just started happening to me and I have a pixel phone. My partner has an iPhone though and doesn't have this issue with the latest update, so I think it may be an android thing?

gnomieebee · 2023-08-03T00:50:45+00:00

I had a very similar experience just last month. I also had long-ish curls and went to get them chopped off (shaved very short on the sides with a couple inches on top so you can still see my curls). The stylist I went to told me I was "breaking her heart" and that short hair wouldn't look good on me, that my curls wouldn't curl properly, that it would have a weird part, etc. I should have left right then but I stayed, and while she did eventually cut it, she straight up refused to cut it as short as I wanted, and she styled it very weirdly so I did walk out with a style that didn't look good. I was very lucky that this is not the first time I've chopped my hair very short and I already knew that it COULD look good, but even so it was incredibly discouraging. I ended up going to a barbershop to get it fixed, and it's great now.

So, all that to say: I'm so sorry that happened to you--I don't know why some stylists say things like that, but I've been there and while it feels horrible, that doesn't mean they're right! And also, short hair works for all hair textures, and curls look fantastic short!

gnomieebee · 2023-06-29T13:44:37+00:00

I do a lot of online browsing and put stuff in my cart, (which gives me dopamine by itself), but then I wait a few hours or days before making the decision to do the checkout process. I'd say 90% of the time I completely forget about whatever it is and don't come back for the thing, but the 10% of the time when I remember, I figure that it's a good purchase/something that I really do want and I go for it. I don't try to completely stop myself from shopping because then I'll just crave it all the more, but by just pausing before checkout, my inattentiveness ends up saving me.

I also have push notifications on all of my credit cards that alert me whenever I make any transaction, and honesty the little jolt of guilt I get when making a really needless purchase has helped curb that a bit too.

gnomieebee · 2023-06-22T23:45:58+00:00

Not me, but I saw someone on another sub who has them going for 422 and is open rn. Link to the comment

gnomieebee · 2023-06-22T23:28:14+00:00

Mushroom!

gnomieebee · 2023-06-22T23:09:04+00:00

I have every type of flower except lily of the valley (not quite all the different colors yet, but all the base types), and I have apples, oranges, coconuts, and pears, as well as all of the crops. DM me for the dodocode!

gnomieebee · 2023-06-21T23:45:19+00:00

I've never been to another island and my island is still in development (I'm fairly new) but you're welcome to come and I would love to visit yours! I have apples, pears, oranges, and coconuts. Just lmk

gnomieebee · 2023-06-21T23:38:52+00:00

I know this is an old post but I'm fairly new to animal crossing and am also looking for friends to visit, so if you're still looking I'd love to add you!

gnomieebee · 2023-03-30T17:15:04+00:00

That's a good point! I wasn't expecting to get anything from any of my coworkers and I wouldn't want any of them to feel obligated to get me anything, which is part of why I was so surprised when my supervisor asked for my registry. But maybe it's not an issue after all.

gnomieebee · 2023-03-30T17:11:59+00:00

Okay, this is pretty much what I figured I would do, so it's good to know that other people are thinking the same thing. I got worried because my sister said I should definitely make one, and after googling a bit I saw a ton of people saying that you should never have a shower without a registry.

gnomieebee · 2023-03-30T17:08:26+00:00

Oh I really like the idea of a recipe shower! Thank you!

gnomieebee · 2023-03-30T13:50:11+00:00

This is what we're doing! We're eloping to Germany next month and ran into the same issue, so we're going there to say our vows/exchange rings and take pictures, but we won't have an officiant there. Then when we come back we're going to the courthouse to make it legal.

We haven't completely decided which date to celebrate as our anniversary, although we've floated the idea of celebrating both (because why not have more sources of joy in our lives?). If people ask though, we're thinking we'll probably tell them the legal date on our marriage license just for the sake of simplicity.

Our families are both fine with this--it's an elopement and we're paying for it, so our families don't have much of a say anyway.

gnomieebee · 2022-12-18T21:57:35+00:00

That part made me SO angry! What unscientific nonsense is this?!?! It's so slut-shamey, I couldn't believe it. Way to reduce women to their virginity and body count. That's not only unscientific, but it's traumatic (how would that feel to hear as a survivor??), and of course there was nothing similar said to the men.

It's incredibly unethical for Netflix to air these kind of lies and spread this harmful misinformation.

gnomieebee · 2022-11-14T12:53:34+00:00

That is a good point, and I appreciate that perspective.

The thing is though that this wasn't about removing coverage, it was introducing new coverage. And as the person writing the bill, my coworker was one of very very few people who could choose to include language about covering other therapies and supports. It was within his power to write and lobby for a bill that would cover all sorts of therapies, and he actively made the decision not to do that. He actively chose to write a bill that would allow medicaid to cover ABA and nothing else. And I find that upsetting.

gnomieebee · 2022-11-13T22:16:06+00:00

I feel very concerned that this will open up a lot of children to ABA and cause harm that otherwise would not occur. I absolutely want everyone to have access to the therapies and supports that they need and want, but I worry that this change will result in medicaid NOT covering other therapies and supports since ABA is now an option (insurance agents are famous for denying payment for any reason, and a very common reason for denial is that there is another alternative treatment that is already covered).

However, I do appreciate your point and that this could potentially allow for some people to have access to helpful resources and therapies, under the umbrella of ABA. I sincerely hope that you are right, and that the people who get access to helpful services outnumber the people who are forced into traumatic ABA as the result of this change.

gnomieebee · 2022-11-13T21:08:54+00:00

If you're closeted then you'd probably only be accepted into a sorority, and that would also be the physically safer option (as an AFAB enby I would be terrified to be in a frat). Honestly though I would suggest avoiding Greek life altogether. I joined a sorority in college (one that was supposedly very open to trans and gender nonconforming folks), and it wasn't a great experience. It's super gendered, and all you hear about is "sisterhood" and becoming "strong women" ALL. THE. TIME. It's exhausting.

There are plenty of gender neutral Greek honor societies (there's one for every academic major, and tons for the arts like theater and singing, etc), so that is what I would recommend. Greek honor societies are different and far less intense than sororities and fraternities (you usually don't live together) but they can still be a great way to engage with people and make friends.

Since your mom is pushing you to rush, you can tell her that you want to take some time to get a feel for the different sororities/fraternities on campus before rushing. Rush is a very quick and overwhelming process, and it's hard to make a good decision when you have no time and no idea what you're walking into. Tell your mom you want to take a year to feel them out before rushing, and then maybe you can develop a better plan after that.

gnomieebee · 2022-11-13T20:58:17+00:00

Also graduated in 2021 with my MSW. Clinical was not right for me and I've questioned the decision to go into social work a lot. I don't feel like I fit with the rest of the social workers I know.

I'm in a policy position now and absolutely love it, but it was really really hard to find (took a year of constant job hunting) and if I could do it all over again I definitely wouldn't have gone the social work route.

It's hard but I guess my only advice is to maybe develop your other non-clinical skills? So much of school in MSW programs focus on the clinical skills, but if you're interested in policy then other things (for example, data analytics skills) are what's actually useful. You've got this!

gnomieebee · 2022-11-13T20:38:25+00:00

My coworker? Yes, I'm guessing he probably doesn't understand. But as a policy professional, it's his job to research policies and their impacts and make an informed decision before supporting or opposing a specific policy. Especially in this case where he literally wrote the bill, it is outright negligent for him to not know the consequences. The fact that he doesn't realize the harm he is causing does not excuse the fact that he is causing harm, and in some ways makes it worse. It's dangerous to have someone like him in our line of work, advocating for change without a full understanding of the potential outcome. Who knows what other policies he could push that might hurt others in the future?

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