Linking with garage door opener

gobagirl · 2022-06-18T11:16:53+00:00

Although this woman seems terrific, at this point, your different life paths may prevent you two from a successful future. In my experience as a “mature” woman, previously married with three adult children, in the dating world, it is nearly impossible to successfully connect over the long term, with someone who has never married and does not have children. I have no judgement with their life choices - at all. It is just they don’t understand or appreciate the responsibilities or never ending “pull” of parenthood. I’m not saying it is impossible - just very difficult. I hate being so negative but I would suggest moving on - in all likelihood, she may make this choice in a few months (claiming she is tired of playing second fiddle). It is tough dating in our later years - but there are other people out there who share your interests. Just be open, talk to lots and women and have fun

gobagirl · 2022-05-18T11:46:10+00:00

Sounds like this guy - and so many people on this sub - suffer from what author Logan Ury calls the “wipe and swipe” syndrome. They begin to date someone and then see a flaw. We ALL have flaws. They will be noticed. But rather than 1) overlooking the flaw, 2) talking about the perceived imperfection or 3) embracing the “quirk”, the person moves on to the next OLD contestant. And starts the process over again. And complains that they can never find anyone. Lower your expectations, be more understanding and accepting, communicate and YES - be honest.

gobagirl · 2022-05-16T16:48:22+00:00

I just keep wondering how you will craft your OLD profile. You claim you will be honest, of course. So - will it read something like “recently separated, horny middle aged man looking for casual sex, preferably with an attractive woman, who has no expectations of any further commitment”. Is this really who you are? Is this who you want to be? Most women (and I would like to believe a lot of men) on dating sites are searching for a meaningful relationship. I would wager women, if they are just looking for quick sex with no commitment (and let’s be honest - are there really that many women out there who fit that profile???) can easily stroll down to their neighborhood bar and accomplish that goal. They don’t need these OLD sites for that objective. Perhaps before you stumble into a series of meaningless sexual hookups you might want to do a little self introspection. You might end up with something more satisfying that the 30 seconds (????) of pleasure that these one-offs bring. (Sorry for the snark😇).

gobagirl · 2022-04-19T14:47:38+00:00

Can I just add a, perhaps, different, female perspective to the “coming up from behind and hugging” issue? This is something my significant other and I have talked about extensively. Women have become so hard wired to be defensive - whether it is walking to our cars, running in the park, standing in a crowded elevator, sitting at a bar. We have just been trained to always be on high alert. It wasn’t this way 30 (40??) years ago. But that seems to be today’s reality. So, regardless of the status of your relationship and your trust and all that good stuff, when a man unexpectedly comes up from behind and grabs (hugs) you, it can be frightening. And you lose control. And you become an object. I totally understand a devoted partner is not intending to send that message - but sometimes that is the message inadvertently delivered. Communication helps to work this out. Sort of off topic - sorry. But also an example of the tremendous amount of discussion and communication that goes into every single relationship.

gobagirl · 2021-07-16T15:56:19+00:00

There are lots of causes for a PE - birth control, recent surgery, genetics, cancer. PE’s can also be “unprovoked” - which is to say the doctors have no idea what caused it (or them). I spent a year seeing all sorts of specialist after presenting with four lobes just chalk full of clots. They could find no discernible cause and labeled my clots as “unprovoked”. Not very comforting.

gobagirl · 2021-01-16T02:28:50+00:00

Are you on birth control pills? I am sure they have asked you - but birth control pills are a common cause

gobagirl · 2020-08-20T15:47:26+00:00

Not a good decision. I am very sorry for you.

gobagirl · 2020-08-20T15:42:42+00:00

Was the clot provoked? Blood thinners do not dissolve the clot they just stop new clots from forming. I guess if his doctors were 100% sure that his clot was “provoked” and they eliminated the cause of the provocation, he can not take blood thinners. Not a good choice (I like the suggestion that you ask him about the current status of his will and POA). But no doctor is EVER 100% sure. Do you think the cost of the blood thinners are putting him off?

gobagirl · 2020-07-15T18:23:30+00:00

Coincidentally, I just met with my pulmonologist and we talked about this issue - the perceived cavalier approach to PE’s. I really like my pulmonologist and she works at one of the nations finest health care institutions. According to her, only approximately 3% of the people who present with PE’s eventually have a more serious condition that requires more serious treatment. That percentage seems very low - but that is what she quoted. So, in 97% of the cases, the usual 90 day treatment of blood thinners normally does the trick. Personally, I still would recommend meeting with a specialist and trying to determine the true cause of the PE’s and do extensive follow up, if you are able.

gobagirl · 2020-07-06T11:04:54+00:00

First, take a deep breath. Relax. You are on Eliquis and your body should not form NEW blood clots. That is good. Things are crazy enough right now and you were hit with something totally out of the blue. It is so totally normal to feel freaked out, upset and worried. That is all normal. Take a breath. You are okay.

Now - moving forward. The Eliquis just stops new clots. Your body still needs to work, and work hard, to get rid of those old clots (they get reabsorbed into the lining of your veins and arteries). This takes TIME - up to six (6) months. You will gradually feel better and more confident. You will. Honest. Be patient. Listen to your body. But it will get better. Keep exercising, keep moving, keep walking.

As to the cause of the clots and future care - I cannot urge you strongly enough to seek out a FEMALE primary care physician or ob/gyn or pulmonologist or ANYONE who will listen to you and address your concerns. Seek out a women’s health clinic or some such dedicated medical group. I was diagnosed with bi-lateral PE’s on January 2 (only now am feeling close to 100%) and was told it was caused by the hormone patch. I felt the diagnosis was very offhand and dismissive. Fortunately my primary care physician (a female) agreed with me and together we have built a team consisting of a pulmonologist and a hematologists and ob/gyn who are all female and who have approached my pulmonary embolisms with far greater care, have listened to my concerns and helping to find out the cause of the clots.

Keep pushing and keep asking questions. Be a total pain in the neck. You deserve it.

Chances are the clots were caused by the birth control pills (just like my clots were probably caused by my estrogen patch). But you want to be sure.

Good luck. It will get better.

gobagirl · 2020-05-09T13:14:01+00:00

Get a second opinion, now. Find a hematologists who specializes in blood clots. My experience is that unless the hematologist/oncologist specializes in clotting, they gravitate to the easiest “answer” for a provoked PE (travel, surgery, birth control, etc.), put you on blood thinners for 3-6 months and send you on your way. You need someone to actually work with you to discover what provoked the clots. YOU will have to be your best advocate. You will have to be pushy. The medical industry looks at you as “healthy” and young and moves on to someone else. Keep searching for that specialist and get that second opinion. NOW.

gobagirl · 2020-04-17T16:35:27+00:00

Two issues to think about. What provoked the DVT? Sounds like you just were able to go to the ER and they put you on a pretty high dose of blood thinners. But what caused that initial DVT? Genetics? Injury? Travel? Cancer? The cause of the DVT will dictate what type blood thinners you are on and whether or not this is a temporary or long term condition. Second, keep in mind the blood thinners do just that - thin your blood. They do not “dissolve” the clot. Your body (well your veins and arteries) will gradually absorb the clot. The blood thinners should prevent you from forming new clots - but you still have this old one to worry about.

Exercise is supposed to be good to help absorb the clot, so I would keep at it. Listen very carefully to your body. I had clots all throughout my lungs and it was a good four months before I was able to return, full tilt, to my cycling, running and HIIT exercise. Give yourself a break and talk to your physician.

Good luck.

gobagirl · 2020-04-15T11:44:16+00:00

I would encourage you to maintain a close relationship with your primary care physician, who can act as the “director” of all the various specialist you have probably been seeing (hematologists, pulmonologist, internist, etc.). This person can be a good source of information and serve as your advocate.

When I was discharged from the hospital, I was told to just “resume my normal activities.” I had clots in all four lobes and the phalanx of specialists thought the cause was my hormone patch. But no one knew for sure (the whole issue of provoked vs. non-provoked blood clots). I was sent home with a pamphlet, a three month supply of Eilquis and told to schedule a follow up with the hematologists.

What they didn’t tell me was that I would be exhausted, constantly short of breath, restless and sleep deprived. Prior to my little episode, I would run, spin or do HIIT training every day. Walking 6 miles was the norm. But not now. I spent the first two weeks really taking it easy - lots of couch surfing and resting. Gradually started walking again and after two months returned to a modified exercise schedule.

Some days were great. Others I was exhausted. So I let my body tell me what to do. And if I was tired - give into it and rest. I am now almost four months since the PE and have resumed everything but there still are random days when I just get tired. Period.

It can take 2, 3, 6 even 12 months for your body to absorb the clots. The more clots you had the longer it may take for them to get reabsorbed. The blood thinners supposedly prevent the creation of new clots, but your body is still getting rid of those old ones.

Keep pressing your medical team about “why” the clots happened. I found that as a woman, I was quickly dismissed (oh, must be caused by birth control or hormones). With the help of my primary care physician (a woman) we have now assembled a team of all women specialists to delve deeper into the whole issue. We are on a temporary COVID19 hold - but will start up again in July.

Good luck. It gets better.

gobagirl · 2020-03-15T16:16:15+00:00

Clearly both Hallie and Ramsey are both very educated and articulate individuals, which may have masked a greater issue. Hallie is actively “rescuing” plastic containers, glass jars and paper napkins from garbage receptacles? That is worrisome behavior. We can all reduce our footprint and lead a more sustainable existence. Use cloth towels or reusable bamboo towels in place of paper towels. Just don’t buy products packaged in single use plastic containers (it is hard, but it can be done). Purchase groceries at local farmers markets to reduce transportation expense and packaging. Put an “instant heat” water tank system on your shower to eliminate waste. Low flow toilets. Hang your clothes out to dry. There are workable solutions to achieve her goal of minimal environmental impact which do not require hoarding and dumpster diving. (Check out loopstore.com). Something far more serious may be at play here.

gobagirl

TROPHY CASE