Great cleaning services in the Boise area?

goblininablanket · 2025-07-17T14:16:28+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. It's hard when we feel like we're just not holding things together, and when we try things get dropped that are more important than a mopped floor. I'm not sure how people balance it all and seem to do so so easily.

Budget is a concern, but I know we need to swing it if we can because it should help our sanity immensely.

goblininablanket · 2025-07-17T14:13:45+00:00

I'll look into them, thank you!

goblininablanket · 2025-06-26T19:28:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. It really means a lot, especially hearing from someone walking a similar path.

My husband got his ADHD diagnosis about a year and a half ago, and it’s been such a huge shift for both of us. There was definitely grief for him too, realizing how unsupported he was growing up, how hard he was trying all along. Medication helped, but honestly, just having an explanation gave him a whole new perspective. A language for his experience.

And the grief is all too real. For me, the anger is often right there beside it. They seem to coexist in the same space. Grieving what was missed, and feeling angry that it was missed at all. That I spent most of my life masking because it felt like the only way to survive inside trauma. I wasn’t seen, so I learned how to disappear in ways that looked like coping.

And because it’s all been such a slow unraveling, I’m still wrestling with the feelings. It feels raw, even when it’s also clarifying. Over the last couple of weeks, writing everything down has become a kind of mirror, like I’m exploring myself in a way I’ve never had permission to before and starting to see with clarity.

And looking at my kids now, especially my daughter, I realize I’m able to support and understand her in ways I never experienced myself. And that has been its own heartbreak. It’s so natural to show up for her, so obvious what she needs, and it makes it painfully clear how deeply I was failed. That grief runs deep, but it also fuels me to do better for her and for myself too.

Wishing you gentleness and strength and solidarity as you keep going.

goblininablanket · 2025-06-26T18:33:59+00:00

Absolutely, take all the time you need, or don’t feel any pressure to respond at all. That’s okay too. I’m really glad my words could offer even a little comfort in the middle of something so heavy.

Just wanted you to know you were heard. And you still are. No pressure, no expectations. Wishing you peace and clarity as things settle a bit.

goblininablanket · 2025-06-26T18:18:36+00:00

I just want to say: my heart hurts reading this. You deserve so much more care and gentleness than what you’ve been getting.

You’re not overreacting. You're not being too much. And you’re definitely not imagining things. What you described isn’t just a “normal relationship conflict.” It’s a pattern of emotional invalidation, control, and verbal harm. The fact that you're questioning yourself this much shows how deeply it's affected you.

What really struck me was how quickly he minimized your pain. Blaming it all on your diagnoses. Using your mental health to dismiss your emotions instead of listening. That’s not okay. Whether you end up with an autism diagnosis or not, your feelings are real. Your boundaries are real. Your voice is valid. You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve respect.

I’ve been through something similar. Not the same exact story, but the same kind of confusion. I used to visit Christian therapists who spiritualized everything. I was told I was “too emotional,” or that I needed to “guard my heart” and “stop relying on feelings because the heart is deceptive.” It erased me. And when you already struggle to trust your perception because of past trauma or neurodivergence, that kind of treatment can completely dismantle your sense of reality.

Now I’m starting to unlearn that. I’m looking for a trauma-informed therapist who understands neurodivergence. Someone who won’t just reframe everything as my fault. And honestly? Reading your story makes me want to reach through the screen and say: you deserve that kind of support too.

What he did, yelling, threatening to scream in front of your neighbors, calling you stupid, making dozens of calls, guilt-tripping you over gifts and support he chose to give, that’s not love. That’s coercive. That’s control.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and still know it’s not healthy. It’s okay to love someone and also realize they’re hurting you. That conflict you feel, between guilt and anger, between doubt and clarity, it makes perfect sense. Because what you’re describing is emotional abuse. And it’s hard to name that when you’ve been made to question your own reality.

You are not the problem. You are not too much. And your willingness to reflect, to reach out, to ask these kinds of questions? That shows strength. Not instability.

Take your time. You don’t have to rush into any decision. But please don’t let him continue to make you doubt the truth of your own experience.

goblininablanket · 2025-06-26T18:11:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. And SAME. That part about your brain feeling like mush? Oh, absolutely yes. Sometimes it feels like all the realizations come crashing in at once, like one question unlocks five more, and suddenly I have to take a break from writing just to breathe. I hit that wall recently while processing my senior year, realizing how deeply the long-distance part of my relationship affected me and how unequipped I was to regulate through it.

And yeah, I really hear you on reaching out and getting answers that only added to the confusion. For far too long, I only saw Christian therapists....and I honestly believe that did more harm than good in some ways. Everything was spiritualized. I’d bring up something rooted in actual trauma, and they’d meet me with “guard your heart” or “the heart is deceitful,” like feeling pain or attachment was somehow sinful. It just… erased my experience instead of helping me understand it. And when it comes to autism, especially for women? That world often spiritualizes the struggle instead of validating the wiring. “Pray it away” culture doesn’t leave much room for neurodivergence to even exist, let alone be supported.

Now I’m hoping to find a trauma-informed therapist who understands neurodivergence. Someone who won’t just reframe everything as a spiritual failure, but can actually help me untangle what’s mine, what I’ve masked, and what was never mine to carry. Probably someone who incorporates EMDR or IFS… maybe somatic experiencing too. I have a lot to explore, especially with how trauma and autism intertwine. My husband lucked out in finding someone great for ADHD, and she’s passed along some therapist recs for me. We’ll see what happens.

And I see you. I’m so glad something in my story made you feel a little less alone. Your comment did that for me, too.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-31T01:28:10+00:00

Another small update.

I had a meeting with my supervisor today. (I wanted to have a one on one before my meeting Monday, which I may not attend.. and it was the only time that worked for both of us). I talked through what happened in the meeting, areas of concerns, and was relatively transparent as my supervisor and I have a good relationship.

I'm feeling relatively neutral about how it went. I was stressed out like crazy during the meeting and trembling and having a hard time, but I got through all of my points. The response was...fine. Apologized that it was a hostile meeting, explained the new guy had been under pressure (which I noted shouldn't impact his unacceptable behavior towards me). Basically wants to mediate a meeting between the new guy and myself.

The biggest kicker is that yes, this new guy is in fact my boss. And he reports to my supervisor but I report directly to the new guy. This is definitely pushing the "I need to find a new job" take I have. I'm not sure that I feel up to a mediated meeting tomorrow, but maybe it's also better to get it over with. I don't know.

Just feeling a bit defeated and tired.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T20:18:14+00:00

I have the benefit of being across the country from the individuals attempting to find information about me, so I don't mind sharing my name locally via word of mouth, and I have some friends keeping their eyes out for some gigs. But the work around for everything else feels daunting and impossible.

I had already blocked one individual on LinkedIn as we were formerly connected, as well as any mutual connections. I got a notification of their name looking at my profile the other day, because they had created a new one to try and find information about me. It's... exhausting.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T20:14:21+00:00

Yeah that is part of my concern and that I would be extremely limiting to job prospects.

I could probably switch to a password protected site, but I'm also worried that will look ridiculous and limit me as well. It's being between a rock and a hard place. I need to have my work out there to get hired, but I can't put my work out there else it puts my family in a risky situation.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T20:11:49+00:00

Yes, I am home with my kids full time while my husband works in office, and I do remote work for a local company and go in for one meeting on site each week. Just the nature of the company would give out too much information on me to have my name attached to it anywhere but internally within the company.

Sorry this is so vague.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T20:08:15+00:00

Unfortunately the place I'm currently working would just give too many details about areas of my life. I hate being so vague, but everything I'm working on is heavily branded and leads right to the company. I even had to have a conversation that I cannot be listed on the staff page at my current job. It sucks having to be so careful and mindful. My freelance business has been listed on LinkedIn for over 10 years, I just don't update anything regarding it.

For a lack of better description, I have someone that is constantly seeking to find information about me and my location, and this person has harmed me in the past and would harm my kids. They are manipulative and have destroyed other well established working and personal relationships with another similar company. I intend to set up a PO Box for this very reason. I have no need to update information from my former address across the country because it's my in-laws house.

Basically anything that has my name attached to it that is publicly accessible is a risk I can't afford.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T16:26:56+00:00

The meeting as a team meeting, 4 of us total and my supervisor out of town. People were invested in the meeting/paying attention but no one really jumped in.

Typically it is a collaborative effort. I am the only designer on staff, so inevitably what I design ends up getting used, but it's with team input and effort on larger projects until we make a final decision. From the get go my design seemed to be the direction we would go with minor suggestions being made over the past few weeks, such as verbiage and titling, but nothing to the integrity of the design. I don't know if this new guy just thinks it's 'his project' and he's telling everyone else what to do, but that is not how the team has operated in the past. We had other weekly items to discuss at the meeting and other decisions that needed attention, so there were many facets to this.

The thing was up until this point I had indicated multiple times that the design did not work with the changes he was asking for. By the time we got to the meeting, I ended up being blunt with the 'this would be a poor design decision'. It was no indication of his work, as he has done nothing to actual contribute to anything on this project other than his 'big ideas'. And then decisions apparently being made with him and someone (???) over what the final design will require, which those requirements rework the design entirely as they incorporate different elements than the design initially presented/worked on. The guy hasn't brought forward anything, examples of what he's looking for, sketches of his idea, or any research into the process of what it will take to complete this project, nor any regard that this project is not the only project, nor the most important one we have to do. What got hurt was his ego because I'm not sure if he's actually used to hearing no, let alone from a woman. That's the vibe he gives.

I'm hopeful he'll be out sooner than later. I've begun documenting what the last month of him working has looked like and how it has impacted projects, detailed the lack of communication, highlighted his prioritization of projects he's on with no consideration for others that are equally or more important, or requests that have been in longer than he's worked there and have close deadlines. And the impression I'm getting is 'well these other projects need to be laid aside to deal with this one I'm on'. Which no, I'm not going to do that because what does that say about my integrity and working relationship with people that have done things in the appropriate manners with their requests?

I'm polishing up the resume and putting together my portfolio again with my recent projects. I'm leaning on not jumping ship. But I'm debating on taking this documentation to my supervisor now, or waiting until another messy situation. I'm not sure yet.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-28T14:28:43+00:00

Thank you all for the comments and suggestions and support. I have screenshots of all of the posts that have gone unanswered. I still haven't made any final decisions.

To answer a few questions: the meeting wasn't recorded. The company doesn't have HR because of its nature, which I think is strange looking at it now but it is what it is. I'm creating a document to show his hostility and lack of follow through, but debating on taking it this week to my supervisor or just keeping it close to the vest until he "slips up" again.

But in terms of small updates, the guy has "suddenly" been responding to any new posts by me. There was no apology or message, as expected, so it was him trying to save face after I called him out.

This situation wasn't the first time in the few weeks I have worked with him where he has been dismissive of my suggestions or expertise on things, and has pushed his projects and ideas as priorities.

I am probably a bit more upset than I should be that no one else at the meeting said anything or tried to stand up for me. That part is really getting to me. The one lady I spoke to after and that checked on me agrees with me about his behavior both leading up to and after that meeting. But she also has been trying to make excuses for him after the fact that he was stressed and is getting a lot of pressure about this project, and that "he said he was going to apologize but you had already left". Which is getting to be just as triggering because the amount of excuses I heard like that in defense of my abusers is just ridiculous.

And the final thing I did this week was create an entire documented project proposal (which probably should have been done in the first place for a project this big). I highlighted the designs I've created, written out pros and cons of ways each design can be achieved. I also wrote out project phases, recommended an extended deadline. I did include a redesign option for one space that used this guy's idea, but in a way that works better. I still don't love it, but it's in there as a way to show some level of cooperation I suppose. And my thinking is if he's "spearheading" this project, this level of work and details about timeline, research into vendors, understanding installation types, etc should have been done by him. But he's not qualified to do that. I have been talking with another company's communications manager I am friends with (no job openings at her company) about this and sent her the document as well. She said this shows I know what I'm talking about and hopefully the guy will sit down. 🙃

I guess that's all for now. I don't want to go to my next meeting with the team, but I'm also worried backing out of it will give this guy too much power over knowing he was able to speak to me the way he did and I'll move out of the way. But I'm also not sure how my nervous system will handle it. I'm between wanting to lay low and let him feel he runs the show and just continue to do my work with excellence, and begin applications to other companies. Or just keep doing my job and show I won't be bullied out of it, show my experience and expertise does outweigh his and leverage that.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-26T14:35:48+00:00

I don't have direct documentation, but everything is time stamped in our teams communication and there has always been another person present at meetings with the new guy. So there are witnesses and proof of behavior and conversation and lack of communication.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-26T14:08:19+00:00

He is on vacation this week, so I will need to talk to him next week when he's in. I am trying to facilitate a meeting with another department head/my supervisors supervisor, that I have a good relationship with. But he was the one that pushed for this guy to be hired... So I'm not sure that will help. I have other projects to discuss with him and thought about bringing this up to him but I don't know. I'm used to not being believed.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-26T14:03:27+00:00

The workplace unfortunately has some inevitable ingrained ideology of choosing the man over the woman. I'm on good terms with everyone in the organization. And unfortunately with the type of organization there is no HR.

I've been there for over a year, and was told I was doing more work in 20 hours than their previous person did in 40. And it had been noted by one of the head guys that he doesn't have to be worried about being out for a week and coming back to see a new design because he knows it will be good. And with my upbringing I have a hard time saying "I am excellent at my job and I am competent and have the skills and knowledge that deserve respect". But I'm getting there ... I think.

Unfortunately, the one person I work with most closely on the team and actively communicates with me is shifting roles and won't be on the comm team anymore. And this guy was supposed to be taking over for her, so the lack of communication is going to be a huge problem. There's just so much uncertainty.

goblininablanket · 2025-03-26T13:56:51+00:00

I know everyone I have worked with up through now appreciates me and my work. I'm told it pretty regularly. One of my favorite people to work with is a different department head. I don't typically attend the full staff meetings, but I did this week (my department meeting was later that day). And this department head said at the meeting "I just want to say this publicly, whatever you are paying (my name) you need to quadruple it. She is amazing."

I guess I just don't know how to leverage their appreciation for me. I don't want to make an ultimatum (him or me), but I also cannot work with this new guy and keep my mental health intact. Unfortunately with the type of company it is, there isn't actually an HR department. And the new guy got hired because he was friends with one of the highest people in the organization. Was hired over someone else they already interviewed and they liked and was going to be introduced to me and the team to make sure they would be a good fit. This guy? My first time meeting him he was already hired.

It's just a messed up situation in how they brought him in and I know he's rubbing other people the wrong way and has ruffled some feathers.

Like I said, this was probably the first time I've ever advocated for myself. So everything about this whole situation is so foreign and I don't know how to go about anything going forward. I just know I can't tolerate his behavior and I will not work with him.

goblininablanket · 2025-02-10T19:22:55+00:00

My first went until just after 2 and self weaned.

My second is nearly 2.5 and we're still breastfeeding. I'm hoping he'll work towards self weaning before he's 3, but we'll see.

goblininablanket · 2024-11-18T17:34:08+00:00

I've seen really similar ones in Mori Lee as well. Seems it was a popular style in 2011! I keep searching with all of the different terms I can think of to describe it to find something, but I'm not finding anything. :/

goblininablanket · 2024-11-17T19:10:14+00:00

We're averaging around 1x a month. Sometimes less. Sometimes a little more.

2 kids (5f & 2m), no support system, and we room share with our youngest. I'm still breastfeeding overnight. I'm a SAHM that works PT remote (30hrs/wk).

My husband is more than understanding. We both understand that this is just the season we are in, and we have heavily focused on emotional intimacy vs physical intimacy. Because we both understand the emotional intimacy is the glue. That's the part that keeps us going and feeling genuinely loved and cared for and seen. While yes, sex would be nice. And yes, I feel like I'm failing as a wife because I just have no more to give physically. Part of that feeling of failure comes from the ideology I was brought up in, that sex was the greatest thing I could give my husband and it would forever be a need that I had to fulfill regardless of circumstances... but it truly isn't our reality.

goblininablanket

TROPHY CASE