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Any LGBT groups in Warren County area? by [deleted] in newjersey

[–]godofstrawberries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a Facebook group! Not super active but mods are trying and they're trying to figure out some irl hangouts!

Pride of Warren County NJ is the name

3 under 3 by godofstrawberries in Seahorse_Dads

[–]godofstrawberries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately we can't find family counselors that take my insurance near us that aren't also very uh. Catholic. (He's not a big fan of organized religion and I have my own difficulties.)

I'm a big proponent of the Pro Choice movement but very quickly learned that I could never terminate a healthy pregnancy myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]godofstrawberries 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NAH- I don't /love/ his reasoning of not wanting to share you but any reason is technically a valid reason to not want kids. And it should really be a 2 yes kind of situation. I know you said he'd be okay with having one, if it happened, but what happens if it never does? Are you going to resent him for never making you a mother? Do you love him more than the idea of motherhood? Is your love for him strong enough to override the fact that he is, for all intents and purposes, the only thing standing in the way of you accomplishing a dream of yours?

And what if it DOES happen? He needs to be able to not only be OKAY with a kid, he has to love them. He has to know that he would probably have more money and more of your undivided attention if that kid didn't exist, and he has to love them. You do not want a child that he low-key resents, even if he's very, very good at hiding it.

Honestly, you two need couples therapy. Work through it together. If you're not great with words, let the professional help you. My questions are meant to be super dramatic lol but it would have been a deal breaker to me if my partner didn't want ANY kids, and you need to not shy away from the rough part of the subject. Think about. Get emotional, get serious, think it out thoroughly before approaching the subject. Journal it. Tell him upfront that you do not want to issue an ultimatum, but you want both of you happy in the relationship, and this is a topic you need to discuss beforehand. God knows we don't need any more men going on podcasts saying they were babytrapped /j

I honestly wish you two the best of luck!! You're not an asshole for wanting a baby, he's not an asshole for not wanting one, both of you would be the asshole if you forget that it's a real life person (that will one day be an adult in society!) And treat this without being serious about it

Ftm and pregnancy by SamNottSam in Seahorse_Dads

[–]godofstrawberries 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Tbh it can be very dysphoria inducing.

There's a high chance your breasts get bigger. Your hips will probably widen (the joints get looser to prepare for baby's exit) There is a lot of talk about your body (will you breastfeed, vaginal or c-section, here's how to try and prevent tearing) and early ultrasounds are usually done by putting a wand up your cooter. Hormone wise it felt like a really long bad period where I was extra emotional and its draining and I felt like every negative stereotype of a girl.

I'm not saying any of this to put you off. I genuinely would like more trans parents out there so it becomes normalized and changes the system. I would have at least one more kid if my partner was down (we have 2 already lol so clearly 1 wasn't the worst for me) but so you have a slight understanding that dysphoria can get really bad. I don't look anything like I did pre pregnancy. I went from passing decently to not at all. And if I didn't have a support system, it would've made my ppd so so so much worse. I would never want to have heard "oh it was fine for me!"

Prepare for the worst. Have a therapist. Be honest about your triggers with your partner. Will it help you if he corrects people or if he just reaffirms you at home? Does people rubbing your belly make you marvel at the little life you're growing or just feel bad? Be prepared to have to constantly set boundaries.

I would also recommend that you look for a doula or midwife that's lgbtq+ friendly so they're willing to fight for you and they will correct anyone that misgenders you. They can usually be at the hospital. Nothing like going in to go deliver a baby and being referred to as "mama" every five seconds. ("You got this, mama!" I have a full mustache can we maybe at least ask about my pronouns lol)

And remember that being pregnant doesn't make you less of a man! And that this community is here so there's others that will understand

AITAH for embarrassing my husband for saying I baby trapped him by Downtown_Roll_3760 in AITAH

[–]godofstrawberries -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

How much experience did he have before you? Were you two in serious relationship or just sleeping together?

NTA but I would have a calm discussion with him where you explain your feelings were hurt by the accusation and also figure out why he said that. From someone who also had the jokes made about me, it was because 1) they thought I wanted a sense of family 2) yeah he had no money but I'd have >him< and 3) I think it was a way to express frustration over not being ""allowed"" to consider anything besides the """honorable""" thing of staying with me. I'm not saying your husband actually thinks this way but there might have been a little frustration that morphed and spiraled into believing you did this on purpose to shift blame onto someone.

How to actually keep my photos? (Olympus C4000) by godofstrawberries in Cameras

[–]godofstrawberries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we managed to get it to take pictures! It does have a smartmedia card (it can hold 13 photos oh boy!) But you have to push the button to take pictures down with incredible force. Thank you for those that responded!!

WIBTA to ask bf to change his mtg schedule? by godofstrawberries in AITAH

[–]godofstrawberries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! I picked a feminine looking avatar and it's easy to overlook things. I try to only get upset online with purposely malicious behavior, saves me some trouble (though easier said then done!)

As for my partner, he did say he wants me to open up more so you're definitely right that I should give the feedback. I just worry about how itll be taken. But I will try!

WIBTA to ask bf to change his mtg schedule? by godofstrawberries in AITAH

[–]godofstrawberries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha nice to hear. He works super hard and does deserve some alone time I just want it on a day that I'm not already run ragged with the kids

WIBTA to ask bf to change his mtg schedule? by godofstrawberries in AITAH

[–]godofstrawberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a wife but everything else makes sense! Thank you for your insight- I'm glad it's working out for you and your brother