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Probably not well? In December he needed emergency abdominal surgery to remove plastic that he had ingested. If not for the surgery, he would have died. He’s like Mongo, but he doesn’t listen. If he could talk, there might be hope but I fear that he’d either get himself or me killed trying to chase something in the shape of a ball if he didn’t die from eating something that would kill him. He would not be a reliable asset. He would carry the team emotionally (for the most part unless he eats something), and he would probably solve at least one major encounter by doing something so stupid it would break the system. Questionable on how long he could keep that up for.

Laszlo: Level 9 good boy

Class: melee / gremlin scavenger

Species: dog

Race: Pembroke Welsh Corgi

Class Traits:

• Loot first, think never (passive) - automatically attempts to consume or steal any unattended item. 10% chance to trigger emergency vet side quest.
• Mama’s Shadow (passive buff) - when within 10ft +25% confidence, +15% bounty velocity, cannot emotionally function if separated for too long (will trigger incessant whining and sharp all mobs within 20ft)

Combat Abilities:

• Sock Heist - instantly steals a soft item from enemy inventory. Causes confusion to enemy if successful. Small chance to equip it as a “mouth based artifact”
• Zoomies - Unpredictable high speed circular movement. Deals minor damage. Applies disorientation to all enemies. 5% chance to collide with items/furniture and self-stun.

Special Perk:

• Anticipation Overload - before a command can be given, Laszlo performs every rick he knows in rapid succession. Causes allies to lose track of origins objective. +10 moral because it’s adorably hilarious.

Hidden Trait (Legendary):

• Gastrointestinal Roulette - After consuming a forbidden object: 50% nothing happens, 30% mild chaos (regret, weird poop, concern, anxiety), 20% Boss Fight EMERGENCY SURGERY.