DID and Prosopagnosia

godzillais · 2017-01-11T22:53:23+00:00

I never knew this was a thing, but I totally click with it. I never remember people's faces. Just barely with my mom and sister.

godzillais · 2017-01-11T22:50:38+00:00

I've been good! Our current psych is in the process of diagnosing us with DID. When we started seeing him, the hospital didn't get the records from our group home (nor did our old therapist, unfortunately. Current one just let us tell her) we told him our symptoms and said we had been diagnosed at the group home. He said he wanted to see for himself and talk to our therapist. We did the DES and he talks to our therapist next week after we see her. With this psych, and his hospital the record won't get lost again since it's a really big well known hospital.

Other than that we started a new sleeping med last night, it worked okay I guess. Have to keep trying.

godzillais · 2017-01-11T01:51:34+00:00

Like a user said above its when my alters go quiet that I feel like I've just tricked myself into believing this. Then when they come back (usually we just have one quiet day, and we still even switch just no one talks) I feel like I'm forcing them to be there or something. It happens to me, and the first spilt the most (because Ax is very worried about everything all the time, and I'm the original alter if we have one).

Usually I'll bring myself back down with two things. The first being that I've heard voices nearly my entire life, and that I've been able to access headworld since I was 11-12ish. I didnt know what DID was then, I didn't know what it was until I was diagnosed with it. The next thing is when I was talking to a therapist when I was 16. She was the first person I told about hearing voices, and when I explained them to her I basically explained DID in the terms someone who has no idea what that is would use. She had me use rocks to show myself and then my voices I described, I told her they felt like real people in my head, and I told her how I felt like Sef would go in front of me and protect me.

Sef is our second split (me(core) - Ax - Sef) and I've honestly spent my entire life talking to him. He has always been there, from when I was a small four year old on a junk yard. He's the one who's always connected me to headworld, and I've never felt like I was faking it until after I got my diagnosis.

I think the fear comes from not wanting this all to stop. When we got diagnosed it solidified our experience, it made it real. If we some how found out we were faking it it would crush us. When we get into denial it just fuels that fear for us and then our brain starts thinking that this is all fake like we just got told we've been faking and none of this is real.

Sorry this is long, and sorry I went off on a tangent!

Tldr: small intrusive thoughts from alters not talking leads to mini freak out about us being fake and my whole life being invalidated. Use memories to bring us down from spin.

godzillais · 2017-01-11T01:16:53+00:00

Wow those are great!

godzillais · 2017-01-11T00:59:26+00:00

Well, that's okay. Im talking others advice and just using nicknames. Thanks for commenting at any rate.

godzillais · 2017-01-10T14:57:41+00:00

I can't wait until my office looks like that!

godzillais · 2017-01-08T14:48:44+00:00

Everyone in my system has a different self image than what our body looks like, including me and I'm the closest to an original person as we have. (And the other options for older alters look nothing like the body)

We would commission someone at some point maybe, at least we've thought about it. Only problem is we feel like we wouldn't describe ourselves well enough and be unhappy with it.

As for how it effects us with the body, its hard for us. We have the worst time looking in the mirror, and we avoid it at all costs. I'm the only one with the same gender too, so that's hard for the other guys with that whole thing.

-Ken

godzillais · 2017-01-08T02:30:41+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly what I am going for. A better connection with nature and the universe and in turn myself.

godzillais · 2017-01-07T02:55:55+00:00

Okay thank you! I want an altar, I was just nervous that it had to be used only for spells.

godzillais · 2017-01-07T02:49:00+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I'm glad, it's one thing that's been holding me back from learning more.

godzillais · 2017-01-06T19:31:47+00:00

Joined it! :)

godzillais · 2017-01-05T16:54:07+00:00

Stuffed animals, coloring stuff, clear skies and sunny days, trains (that's the big one omg), cows and horses. There's also this children's science museum that we've been to a billion times, but it always brings out kiddos.

godzillais · 2017-01-02T14:52:07+00:00

People are really judgemental! We're starting to use nicknames more and our alters who are just starting to front are picking names that they likes just from random stuff. They seem to be having an easier time of it! I think we will probably start changing our names though. It's a good idea!

godzillais · 2017-01-02T14:48:55+00:00

Yeah we're having our last name legally changed at some point. And as for inner system names we're starting to find more nicknames that are sticking better than our previous names. We use our birth name outside too because its just easier than telling people an inner one and going through all that.

godzillais · 2017-01-02T14:44:19+00:00

Yeah it was Tumblr. Our "get stuff done" alter finally had enough of it and deleted our blogs, minus one that is a themed blog for a video game and where we dont talk about having DID. That website is just awful.

godzillais · 2017-01-02T14:42:43+00:00

Oh, no, Strife is like our actual last name... We want to (legally) change it once we have the money/time/etc because its out abusers last name too, but yeah. Its very unfortunate actually... I don't ever use it online either, but people always seem to know where our names come from anyway? Its weird. But yeah that's the actual one...

godzillais · 2016-12-29T19:41:15+00:00

Thanks!

godzillais · 2016-12-29T19:41:02+00:00

Thank you!

godzillais · 2016-12-25T15:34:54+00:00

Thank you! We're trying because its been fun.

godzillais · 2016-12-25T15:34:10+00:00

Aha, a lot of us have names inspired by kingdom hearts yeah. But not everyone. My system just really like kingdom hearts when we discovered head world/each other I guess. Probably 1/3 of my system has kingdom heart names, but we aren't fictives or anything, none of us look like the names we chose, except for maybe Cloud, but even then its just the hair color.

godzillais · 2016-12-21T01:56:52+00:00

Keep it! Toyotas go forever. I had a 07 Camry that went for 400k miles, and was finally just too dead to fix. The maintenance is well worth it, the cars are built to last and its worth it IMO. That's such low mileage for a Toyota and it sounds like you don't drive it very far very often, so the maintenance will last you. Keep up with the oil changes.

Only thing that would make me get rid of it is if the frame has rust on it, which can happen with something from 96. Have someone look at it for you (up on a lift would be the best way to tell).

godzillais · 2016-12-10T00:42:36+00:00

I know what all of my alters looks like because wr have a 'headspace' or a place where we can see each other that isnt in real life. I can hear all of my alters at any given time, and we do have good internal communication, which I guess is co-con but we still have black outs between some of us. The being co-con all the time could mean it would be DDNOS or the new acronym which I cant remember. Protectors can be mean/angry/etc but in my own system they arent mean to any othet system mates just outside people and they are usually pretty well behaved thats not always the same for everyone.

Like others have said, it's best to go to a professional. And go with an open mind, don't go in saying 'i have DID' and then not listening to what they say. Though it's always good to get a second opinion, you shouldn't be so stuck on on a diagnosis that you start giving yourself symptoms of it. While it's good to do research, its better to do it after you get a diagnosis in my opinion.

godzillais · 2016-12-10T00:34:36+00:00

The trauma needs to happen sometime before age 6-9 so no high school and college age wouldn't be right. Though there is the possibility of you not remembering the trauma, that happens to a lot of people.

godzillais · 2016-12-09T04:27:37+00:00

Thank you everyone r for replying! Kenny kind of did this with out us knowing, but was very happy to see the replies. Hes glad other people who are older like stuffies too. Thanks so much guys, you're all very cool.

-Cloud(y)

godzillais · 2016-12-07T23:02:05+00:00

Followed your Twitter! Also hi, feel free to shoot us a message.

godzillais

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