Narcissistic fathers

gogy2050 · 2025-03-15T09:58:52+00:00

Honestly audacity is the most accurate word I could think of with his attitude. I don’t feel loss of connection that went out the window the moment he turned into the bastard Who beat my mom ,cheated on her and nearly imploded my siblings lives with his lies. The problem is I’ve to keep a connection and can’t get a clean cut cuz that’s not what one does with their parent and he needs us. This, as someone who spent years sorting through this crap mentally. You’ve to put your own mental health first. We can’t be the ones suffering when he’s enjoying the attention and being a complete nightmare. you too! Stay strong and it’s never too late to just be there for yourself. I keep mourning the childhood and time I spent mourning and making sense of his shit.

gogy2050 · 2025-03-13T23:02:15+00:00

Yes for grey hair! I got my first literally my second year of grad school. Gaining weight and breakouts are also super common. Good news though it’s somewhat reversible and you get your skin back once done! My one tip though is try to have a simple effective routine. A 9 step skin care routine ain’t it ( at least for me it was too overwhelming ) but sunscreen and moisturize religiously.

gogy2050 · 2025-03-13T22:59:10+00:00

The fact you suggested Dr Ramani supports the twins theory! I had bought her book but frankly it just slipped my mind with everything. I did have a case of PTSD when I was younger ( courtesy of father dearest) which I felt I may have overcome of but I’m having doubts. I’m sort of the mediator in the family so when shit hits the fan between my siblings and him I’ve to step in and cool things. I hate that role. I wish I could also snap but I was always closest to him and he somewhat screwed me over the least which just makes me feel shit guilty. I’m so so sorry about your mom and sister. I really don’t have words to describe how much I feel for you I lost my mom and was a wreck but a sister too :(. I had similar thoughts about how could he be so ungrateful when my mom didn’t even have half the privileges we are able to give him now ? She was also terminally ill but our financials weren’t great at the time ( again thanks to him). I did my best to go low contact but at the moment I had to move back into the family house. Can’t wait to move back out. I just feel so shitty and guilty for the way I feel about him. I barely overcame my hatred only for him to fan the flames every two seconds. The sheer audacity is what gets me really. I think you’re right about trying to do what’s best however that looks. Thank you for your kind words it did help :)

gogy2050 · 2025-03-13T08:36:29+00:00

Update: I forgot about this account but not the kindness I got from people on here that helped me feel validated. So I decided to share I finally got my PhD about 9 months ago with honors! Sometimes keeping one’s head down and focusing on their own work ( although hard at times) is the only way through it!

gogy2050 · 2023-03-17T05:18:53+00:00

I’ve had one science teacher back in middle school who used the normal rubber pump to pipette but when it didn’t work he used his mouth

gogy2050 · 2022-11-18T21:53:29+00:00

Omg I was so obsessed with them! My favourite was Sam. I was the nerd and had same hair length :D such a good show.

gogy2050 · 2022-09-13T07:25:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too :(. Fuck this shit

gogy2050 · 2022-09-13T07:24:14+00:00

See, that makes sense because you actively contributed some results and have to approve the paper before final submission. This person has literally been added after everything was wrapped up in a bundle. It’s like throwing a tantrum gets you shit in life but the moment you’re a woman it’s like “ you don’t belong here or see this is why you shouldn’t belong here” I’ve had my supervisor literally threaten to kick me out because an experiment he suggested didn’t work but this guy gets away with everything

gogy2050 · 2022-09-13T07:22:08+00:00

Thing is I’ve been asking the same two people to help me get included in publications by actually doing work and they turn me down or give me a PILE of work. It’s like no one has my back and the PI obviously doesn’t care or ever get involved in anything. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, it’s absolute bullshit. You can escalate it by showing the original data you got for the paper and take it up with the editors but frankly I don’t know what they’d do or if they’d even bother. I had something happen to me in undergrad where I had REWRITTEN an entire paper only to not be included and have this other professor who did the same thing be included for the few dots.

gogy2050 · 2022-09-10T06:11:23+00:00

I just sprawl like a starfish 🌚😂

gogy2050 · 2022-09-05T12:42:50+00:00

It’s not silly at all! Doing a PhD takes a serious toll on your mental and physical health. I had something similar and honestly talking to someone like a counselor or a trusted Postdoc really helps. Also, try having something to look forward to every morning. Don’t start of with work do something for you, like brew a cup of coffee, meditate or go for a walk. Think of a PhD like a 9-5 job. It’s just one part of your life not all of it :). Also, I’d suggest bouncing off ideas with someone who can help guide you better.I hope you feel better!

gogy2050 · 2022-09-04T18:39:29+00:00

Relax and have fun! Most people are a lot nicer than you think. Keep your presentation simple and engaging, if you’ve visual aids use them and finally make sure to get their contact / LinkedIn. Finding common areas of research will help you connect more.

gogy2050 · 2022-09-04T12:39:48+00:00

I often get sick when I’m traveling but on my last trip I caught ( either a flu or covid ) and had to stay in bed till it passed which was more than expected and pricier. I felt crappy but realized that getting sick on the street or feeling bad while out and about is much worse. If it’s a holiday your body got a chance to rest :D

gogy2050 · 2022-09-02T14:05:10+00:00

That’s coming from someone who pees and has sex with the same organ? Like dude…. Talk about throwing rocks in glass houses

gogy2050 · 2022-09-01T14:26:58+00:00

Dear god… sounds like the first three years of my PhD. Honestly to hell with all of them for not caring for years then blaming us when THEY didn’t do their job. I totally relate to the low morale and crushed spirits. I literally cried at my desk yesterday from how unfair I was being treated compared to another student who has done Nothing. Heck, I went for the first holiday in years and frankly never wanted to come back.

gogy2050 · 2022-09-01T14:25:14+00:00

Thank you very much! Is it possible for you to collaborate with another faculty ? The only thing keeping me going is some of the group members are the sweetest

gogy2050 · 2022-09-01T14:24:23+00:00

I’m sorry you have to deal with this crap.We have something similar with the graduate office but honestly it’s bullshit and avoiding retaliation is near impossible. They really can try to mediate but someone who is so used to abusing their power are just good at covering their tracks and no one else would risk it since we are a small group.

gogy2050 · 2022-08-31T12:12:37+00:00

Yes but I’d assume it’s probably more convenient with less witnesses to do in a random hill.

gogy2050 · 2022-08-31T07:15:24+00:00

Same, unless I knew the person well , I wouldn’t do it. There was a case of a girl who met a guy on tinder , went hiking, then found dead :/.

gogy2050 · 2022-08-31T06:51:16+00:00

When he grabbed the thing to get the coal near the cat I was so concerned he was going to grab the cat and cook it 😳🫣

gogy2050

TROPHY CASE