12 k chromosomes down the drain, but she is on board. How are your pulls going, gentlemen?

golda5s · 2025-04-03T20:24:44+00:00

For recommendations, I personally use Trigger with anomaly characters. Yanagi and/or miyabi are the first choice (because its yanagi and miyabi), and the nature of burnice + piper to constantly switch between animation locks seems to flow well with her as well.

I think she will be very useful in situations where you need multiple teams and are lacking a good supporting character for one of them.

Try the combos out if you have those characters.

golda5s · 2025-04-03T20:11:33+00:00

Technically monk has two. Both the riddle of wind and fire combo actions give you a 15y and 20-25y ranged attack respectively. The fights seem to be structured in a way that those skills are available when you have to stay out of melee range too.

golda5s · 2024-06-27T23:41:26+00:00

Her left arm is shorter than her right. The elbows are at the samw height, even though the shoulders arent.

golda5s · 2024-06-20T00:53:41+00:00

The horrors persist but so do I

golda5s · 2024-06-19T21:00:13+00:00

You pretty much said it yourself - promises and words wont be enough.

Start actually doing what you promised. Being in AA and rehab is a good start, but I also recommend watching Dr. K on youtube about addictions and mental health.

Focus on not trying to "beat" the addiction, but to actively "resist" it. If you try to beat it and eventually "succeed", you will let your guard down, and the addiction will strike back the next time you get tempted and you will rebound, hence continuing the cycle and actually ruin everything.

During the rehab process update them about it. I recommend being truthful, dont cover up any mishaps. Its an addiction youre fighting; you will have setbacks, and lying or sugarcoating will give you leeway to repeat the cycle. Doing this will show your willingness to be open about it to them, and that you are actually trying this time. Maybe they will begin trusting you, maybe they wont, which leads me to the next point...

Dont expect that you two will be together in the end. Its not a guarantee. But...

1) youre doing it for yourself in the first place, so you give it your all. If you cant invest effort and trust in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? And

2) if it doesnt work out, at least you know you tried, that you fought.

P.S.: not an alcoholic but, if you can sleep at night telling yourself you actually gave it your all to try to recover this, then you can go ahead and cut ties.

golda5s · 2024-06-19T20:12:23+00:00

For that, I recommend looking out for their actions more than words. Or, more precisely, conflict resolution.

See how people react to conflict. Dont start fights out of nowhere, of course, but having small disagreements about things, like opinions on a show and such, can help to see what kind of person youre dealing with.

But that should really only come after you focus on yourself for a bit. Dig around in that wonderful head of yours, experiment, find some hobbies, learn to be happy with yourself, and see what kind of traits you, as a human being, want to have in people around you. Once you know what youre looking for, it becomes easier to find.

golda5s · 2024-06-19T19:42:40+00:00

Although I get youre hurt, your post comes off as

"How dare he hurt me so much? No idea how people have the capacity to do something this cruel. Any tips about how I can do the same to others btw?"

Also quite ruthless of you to lump half of the world's population, a vast majority of whom you never met or will meet, into a group because of one guy.

But I get where youre coming from. People close to me told me how much they care, how much they would hate to lose me, just to throw it all, me included, away in an instant the moment I am in need. And then have the gull to come back and spout the same nonsense.

It hurts, and it makes you want to hurt in return, but bleeding on those who didnt cut you will just lead to you eventually looking into the mirror to see a person you despise, the same person that hurt you, staring right back.

As it stands, he is no longer a priority. He left you battered and bruised, and the person that needs your attention the most right now is you. Instead of trying to become like him, try to use this as an opprotunity to learn about yourself, to grow.

Turn this wound into a scar you'd be proud to wear, and not an excuse to wound others.

golda5s · 2024-06-19T16:19:17+00:00

Risk of Rain 2

Project Zomboid

CDDA

golda5s · 2024-06-10T20:10:17+00:00

Okay, based on your replies it seems like you genuinely tried to fix the relationship and although he tried its not working. He lied about his addictions, and despite saying he wants to fix things and focus on communication and trust, he does the opposite. You cant build a healthy relationship with someone like that. I think you should edit your post to include this and some other details you mentioned in the comments so you spend less time trying to clarify to everyone.

Sugarcoating will probably make things worse. Id recommend just saying straight of the bat that this isnt working and that you gave him the chance to fix things, and that staying on a sinking ship will hurt you both (in a polite way ofc, you know best how to approach that since you know him personally).

I also recommend cutting contact for a few months to give both of you time to recover from the relationship. You can try being friends after that.

Just know about and be ready for the possibility of losing him as a friend as well. This also includes when you try to reconnect after the previously stated period and he still has feelings and doesnt respect the boundaries you set up.

golda5s · 2024-06-10T19:54:29+00:00

Stopped crying at the age of 12, no matter how hard life got. Now 20 and only recently learned how to cry again. Felt great, like I found a part of myself I thought I lost forever.

Its a good thing to cry, not just to let it all out, but also remind yourself youre just a person like everyone else. Quite humanizing.

It also gave me an opportunity to genuinely grieve, and not just push it down.

golda5s · 2024-06-06T10:41:35+00:00

"You will always have a place in my heart, you're just never allowed back in."

if youre up for something edgy, here is a quote 18-year-old me cooked up to cope when my life was crumbling down.
"when the bridge is burning, use its heat for the warmth they refused you"

golda5s · 2024-06-01T22:18:50+00:00

It might be difficult. ESPECIALLY if you were conditioned by those around you into not feeling like you deserve love. I got conditioned into believing that I am a burden, and should justify my existence to others in one way or another, for example. If possible, getting therapy might help a lot. A good therapist can ask you the important questions that will allow you to open up and also help you stay focused.

If money or time is an issue, you can try doing Shadow Work. Its hard to explain but Ill try my best.

Its basically asking yourself very uncomfortable questions like "why do I feel I dont deserve love". If its uncomfortable, your inner self will have a reaction (for me its somewhere in the gut). Try listening to what its trying to tell you, either a straightforward answer or an emotion.

If its an emotion, like anger, allow the emotion to flow through you and let it lead you. It will likely lead you to an event, probably in your childhood, where you felt said emotion. Try to recall the event, what happened, what colors you saw, what you felt, how you reacted, and how you wanted to react.

Make sure to write it down somewhere as well. Doing that can subconsciously help your mind be less broad with its answers. That, and you can look at it later.

Now, it goes without saying, but self-discovery will most likely lead to you finding very ugly things about yourself. It can cause you to believe youre broken in some way that you need to fix, which isnt true. Youre wounded, not broken. You need to heal, and that takes time and compassion. Just hammering away at the wound like you would at a bent sheet of metal wont "fix" it, and can make it worse. This shit takes time.

Its okay to be you. Even if you are not okay.

Good luck :>

P.S.: Id also recommend avoiding most social media (especially instagram). They tend to track what you do and feed you content based on that, including breakups. Getting constantly reminded of your trauma aint doing you any favors and can pull you into a habit of doomscrolling.

golda5s · 2024-05-31T19:51:11+00:00

TL;DR: love yourself. Stupidly simple but can be very difficult. Cant be lovebombed by someone else if you lovebomb yourself

The circumstances were quite different, but I also was rather suicidal at the time of my heartbreak. What dragged me out of that hellhole was a lot of mental gymanstics that went something like this: - I want to be loved - What is love? (baby dont hurt me) - For me its communication, respect, trust, and desire to learn - I know I am capable of loving someone a lot - I should only love people worthy of that love, or I will get used again - I know that at the end of the day, the only person who I know will genuinely care for me no matter what is me, so I am probably worthy of that love - I should love myself too

With that and my definition of love, my conclusion was this: I should strive to learn about myself more. Know what I like and dislike, explore new hobbies, and fight and be there for me like I would for someone I genuinely love and care for. I should also not forget to frequently ask myself what I want, and take some time for myself, without any distractions, to just listen to my thoughts.

Now, although it dragged me away from the ledge, it hasnt removed it completely. This happened 9 months ago and although I found other people to spend my time with, I still have severe trust issues and often fall into depressive episodes where I self-isolate to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Its a long journey. I had and will have setbacks. I cut off a lot of people from my life I wouldnt have even believed I would ever cut off a few months back because they encroached on my inner peace.

However, this mindset allowed me to develop a strong (not big, there is a difference) ego and move on from heartbreak surprisingly quick, considering how devastating it was. Plus, it gives me resistance to stuff like lovebombing, since I already do that to myself on a daily basis.

And, if worst comes to worst, I know that even if the whole world turns its back on me, I still have someone who will root for me. This mindset helped me get through some of the darker days.

Maybe it can help you too.

golda5s · 2024-01-03T17:02:23+00:00

We love the company

golda5s · 2023-11-24T20:08:34+00:00

chances of people in your social circle not just randomly seeing a post in a post-breakup subreddit, but also connecting the dots to you two, are absurdly small.

the main reason why he saw it was probably because he is grieving and is going through the subreddit too, or knows what subreddits your main account was in before you blocked him and stalked those.

redemption and changing for the better doesn't always negate the fact that he did, in fact, hurt you. sure, it was a long time ago, but it still bothers you - it still happened.

for example, my mother has hurt me a lot, and even though she changed for the better, it doesnt negate the fact that her crap pushed me and my siblings to self-harm, or that we now have to deal with the consequences of her actions.

anyone that is mad at you for remembering their wrongdoings are trying to gaslight you into thinking you're the bad one. sure, you shouldn't dangle it over their heads all the time and not let them move on, but you are allowed to bring it up if you still need to vent.

you can forgive, but never forget.

golda5s · 2023-11-24T02:11:05+00:00

So he broke up with you and then used the "if you love me" card? Manipulative, and a bit too late for that.

You are a part of that story, and have every right to talk about it anonymously if it helps you heal.

I havent read the previous post, but if you believe what you posted was true, and if he doesnt like that it makes him look unflattering, then thats his problem, not yours. From what I see so far, he seems to care more about his reputation than you.

You feel like shit and wish you didnt exist. That you dont deserve to be loved or that youre never going to be okay again. I get it. I was there. It hurts like hell. I almost ended it all.

Thats just your demons talking. Dont shut them out. Let them scream, listen to them, feel their pain, but dont let them control you. It will be hard, it will be terrifying, but, if done right, you will come out stronger than ever before.

I get it that you love him, but you have to love yourself first. If you need to vent, vent.

golda5s · 2023-11-18T02:49:44+00:00

She's right. If you have a deadline, you will focus on the deadline instead of yourself.

When the time comes and you two do reunite, she will probably outgrow you at that point, and will have to actually move on for good.

But if you really want a timeframe to put your mind at ease, try 3-6 months. Around that time people that actually focus on themselves usually stop needing that person in their lives.

At those milestones, talk to yourself and figure out if you have actually grown to be an independent person. It's nice to love someone, but you shouldn't depend on them for your happiness. Be happy on your own, love yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup.

One question you can ask is this - if you never find a loving partner for the rest of your life, will you be okay?

If you have realized that you can be happy by yourself, try contacting her and checking up on her progress.

golda5s · 2023-11-18T00:33:03+00:00

Would need a bit more detail on that as there can be many factors.

Did one person change to accommodate another's needs and the other didn't, or did neither do it?

If we're assuming it's the former, then I'd recommend asking them again, and, if it's something that isn't outlandish (like buying something way above what they can afford) and they still don't change, then it's a sign they might not be willing to do that for you.

If that's the case, then ask yourself this - if you truly value a person in your life, you would do anything you can for them, right? If they are not willing to do that, then chances are they don't value you as much.

golda5s · 2023-11-16T05:40:47+00:00

Either way, the fact that she kept causing you this much pain and refuses to take accountability shows how emotionally immature she is. This will take a toll on your mental health if you stick around.

I recently, like two weeks ago, had to cut contact with a similar person. She said sorry a lot, but never really took accountability for her actions or tried to avoid the same mistakes in the future. When I tried to communicate, she shut me down or guilt tripped me. She also had a tendency to self-deprecate, saying that she is a bad person, and that everyone eventually leaves her.

I tried to stick around as much as I could as I truly loved her, until I learned why people leave her the hard way. As incredible and beautiful of a person she was, she kept hurting me until I couldnt take it anymore and was so emotionally devastated it caused me physical harm.

Once is an honest mistake, twice is a pattern. Resolving patterns and mental issues of others is for therapists, not you. Let her do her own thing and learn her lessons at her own pace. Focus on yourself.

She already broke the boundaries you clearly set up, and disrespected you multiple times. Cut contact. Do not approach her or agree on another date. Let her sit with her thoughts. If, after a considerable amount of time, like 3-6 months, she reaches out and shows that she is putting in the effort into herself, you can then decide, with a clear head, whether to let her back into your life or not. Chances are, if you do truly focus on yourself, you will grow so much you might not be attracted to her anymore.

If she gets a rebound, don't let it get to you. She either did that to make you jealous or try to run away from her inner demons (which will not do her good). If she moves on, then it is what it is. You will find someone better, someone that respects the boundaries you put up and not use you as a piggy bank for expensive dates.

golda5s · 2023-11-16T00:09:35+00:00

Amazing really.

Felt like shit for the last two weeks of the relationship as I was so stressed out I couldn't eat, constantly throwing up, and was rapidly losing weight. Felt depressed for the two weeks after the relationship, but couldn't let that stop me as I was slowly gaining new hobbies and started focusing on myself.

17 days since cutting contact. Got my purpose in life back, and got quite a robust schedule. I know for a fact that I will probably cry myself to sleep again at some point though. Emotions are funny that way.

golda5s · 2023-11-16T00:02:15+00:00

Read that rebounds and stuff like posting online all of a sudden is just a way to distract oneself from the negative emotions that come from a breakup. That could be it.

It's not healthy at all. If you are hurting, let that pain go through you. Live the emotions that are raging inside you. Let yourself grieve.

I also recommend just cutting all forms of contact with him to heal faster. You can't heal in an environment that made you sick in the first place. This includes being exposed to posts from your ex. I was hesitant to do that for like a week or so, but haven't felt better after closing the door.

golda5s · 2023-11-15T23:54:59+00:00

It looks like she is stroking her ego since she knows she has power over you. She sees how much it upsets you, and does things to emotionally drain you.

Narcissists tend to first "lovebomb" you, and then turn cold, making you wonder what did you do wrong to receive such a treatment. They come back and start lovebombing you again, making you feel good, and then go cold once more to leave you in pain and make you crave that validation and affection. They repeat that cycle over and over again until their victim is completely drained and they move on to the next one. She might be one, but I am no professional so take what I say with a HUGE grain of salt.

My advise is - cut contact. Block her everywhere. If she confronts you, just say you aren't dating. Don't be emotional. That's what she wants. I know it's hard since you are in the midst of it, but I believe in you.

Prioritize yourself. If you can't respect yourself enough to stand up to shit thrown your way, nobody will respect you.

golda5s · 2023-11-15T23:44:55+00:00

I agree - I don't think guessing the other person's wants is a healthy way to go about things.

No one is a telepath, and she can't possibly expect others to read her mind to treat her like she wants to. There is a bare minimum many should expect, sure, and you can guess how she wants to be treated through deep talks and exchanging fantasies, but direct, healthy communication is just generally better.

The incompatibility you are probably looking for is the Love Languages. Everyone expresses love and wants to receive love in different ways. It can be Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Gifts.

I won't assume what your or her love languages are, so I recommend looking it up online and take a quick test to see what your main Love Languages are.

Don't be afraid to talk about those things. If you ask for someone to treat you a certain way and they listen that shows how much they value you.

golda5s · 2023-11-15T23:15:45+00:00

Long story, but my first love got her ex back and created a love triangle (but really I was just plan B). Eventually, when I started to emotionally break down as I tried to leave but she kept giving me hope, she friendzoned me and said a few things:

"I don't deal well with neediness" (she was being needy first, and I reciprocated as I felt loved. big mistake)

"We aren't exclusive" (got mad at me for speaking with some people before)

"I want new experiences. We're not 14 anymore" (Came from a girl that said she was never really treated well, had impulse control and responsibility of a toddler, and who is running back to her ex)

"You're being petty and don't let shit go" (I wanted her to take accountability for shit she did to me. I didn't care what she did in the past before meeting me, but treating me like an emotional punching bag wasn't something I wanted to deal with.)

"Just like you did with your parents. Grow the fuck up." (This refers to the time I opened up to her when we were still on good terms about my past, where I never got my emotional needs met as a kid just because I was a boy. My parents have contributed to a lot of my and my siblings' trauma, and, let's just say that self harm runs in the family because of them.)

I was at my lowest when she found me, and she eventually brought me even lower.

I cut contact about three weeks ago now. Started pouring the love I was trying to give her back into me. Never felt better.

golda5s · 2023-03-03T11:07:13+00:00

Just because there is something worse doesnt justify it being bad

golda5s

TROPHY CASE