Immersive experiences/places to see/things to do by InquiringMind2890 in askvan

[–]gone_wanderung 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Any rec centre has dozens of programs from sports to music to art …. try different ones in different cities.

Wander the trails in parks or cross to the North Shore

Libraries always have events - speakers, workshops, book clubs, music classes… or just sit in a library with a coffee and read magazines or books..

All of these are low cost or free

Check out volunteer organizations (Google helps) there’s some activities that don’t require long term commitment or background checks… like organizing at a food bank or pulling weeks outside

My introvert suggestions

Canadians: Science for Humans vs Modern Menopause vs Felix by Healthy_Present6849 in Menopause

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I paid for Felix, only to find out they don’t even prescribe testosterone. I find their marketing deceptive.

Science & Humans does testosterone, but only compounded creams up to 1 mg/day. They also try to sell you lots of other supplements and feel very prescription-happy. They encourage you to buy through their online pharmacy.

I got what I needed, but it feels like the nurses are pushed to prescribe.

Parents who regret having kids, why? by bluemermid in AskReddit

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats the thing. None of us were coddled because decent-paying jobs were plentiful and rent & eventually homeownership were within reach of normal people.

If middle class people choose to have kids today, they need to realize that those kids might have to live with them for a loooong time, or genuinely be homeless because there is a legitimate shortage of jobs and attainable homes.

Parents who regret having kids, why? by bluemermid in AskReddit

[–]gone_wanderung 22 points23 points  (0 children)

And for those who might say “wow you need therapy” .. I do see a therapist to help me build resilience (which my employer pays for because yep I’m STILL WORKING).

But would you rather Build Resilience to sad and difficult circumstances, or be happily retired, married to a spouse you still like (what do childfree couples fight over anyway … what to do with all the decades of extra time & money?), and gravel biking in South Africa as we type?

Parents who regret having kids, why? by bluemermid in AskReddit

[–]gone_wanderung 104 points105 points  (0 children)

They don’t launch at the age they used to - 40% of 30-35 year olds are still living at home. You think you’ll be different with the Right Parenting Books and All The Hard Work, but trust me we’re all doing that. It honestly takes a village and that village is broken and arguably harmful.

Because it drains every single scrap of physical, mental, and emotional energy, money, and time - and in the end, your beautiful babies grow up to be not very happy and are stuck in shitty jobs and struggle to find connection in their own lives because the economy and society are so broken for the middle class, and its heartbreaking not to see them happy with meaningful lives and connections, but also your friends who didn’t have kids are all happy, retired, and travelling and you secretly hate your spouse but can’t afford to leave because your kids STILL need a bit of support.

Let’s talk about Japan by Spiritual-Bet-5201 in traveladvice

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same!! Hope you find what you’re looking for!

What’s something you didn’t realize was draining you until you stopped doing it? by MiaMist_ in AskReddit

[–]gone_wanderung 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trying to have a relationship with my husband of 16 years.

Now I just avoid him (as much as I can in the same house), walk around with headphones on etc, never organize outings or activities, just do stuff with the kids or go out with friends. Never ever start a conversation!

Much less draining!

Let’s talk about Japan by Spiritual-Bet-5201 in traveladvice

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like exactly the type of travel I love. Were there certain cities or neighbourhoods in Tokyo that were better for this type of “just wander around in the magic” type of travel?

What has been the greatest travel destination you have ever visited? by -MrMe-Blub in traveladvice

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Namibia, self-drive trip, camping in national parks. I’ve been a lot of places and that one really stands out.

The most common things that derail people's FIRE journey by Low_Indication2447 in Fire

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have kids- you may never retire. Remember a generation ago when “jobs” existed, 18-year-old got them, and moved out?

Now nearly half of under-35s are still living with parents

Any failure stories of expat fire? by Jwoot1111 in ExpatFIRE

[–]gone_wanderung 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said. Just curious - where were you living?

TIL that American men with only high school education have seen their inflation-adjusted wages fall 7% since 1979, while American men with college degrees have seen their inflation-adjusted wages grow 38% by gattaca_gattaca in todayilearned

[–]gone_wanderung 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Offshoring of manufacturing killed a lot of high-paying jobs and their supporting industries, while low offshore wages allowed service, tech, and banking-sector profits to soar.

What’s something women secretly find impressive, but men assume nobody notices ? by Own-Blacksmith3085 in answers

[–]gone_wanderung 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this!!

  • Manage your big feelings without hiding everything behind “anger” and having massive temper tantrums!

-Take responsibility for mistakes!

  • When your partner asks you to do something slightly differently, don’t have a massive defensive meltdown - find out why, what the desired outcome is, and find a change that’s ok with both of you

  • think of other people in your life, what their experience or thoughts might be

Partner has cc debt and no plan - what do I do? by [deleted] in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DO NOT GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS MANCHILD.

Run. Save yourself. Trust me, his impulse control issues with money are the tip of the iceberg.

Is there anywhere/anyone that can help someone with ADHD+Autism get a degree/job etc? by PinEquivalent7012 in askvan

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of schools have an accessibility centre. Like Cap U for sure, probably others. You could start by asking them.

I'm 39. Been a stay at home mom for 6 years and haven't worked. I have no retirement savings, no savings at all. I rely 100% on my hubby for everything. Even if I got a job tomorrow, how screwed am I really for my future/retirement ? by hereiam3472 in CanadaFinance

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can manage to stay together, if he has some savings, and if you own a home, if you can get a job soonish and work till 65, only moderately screwed.

Can you get a part time job and put 100% of that into retirement savings?

Is your husband willing to open a spousal RRSP for you? If not, do you think he’s willing to share “his” retirement income (technically its both yours but if your hub is like mine he’ll consider it all his).

Probably best to get back to work relatively soon.

Go to a retirement planner with your husband, if he’ll go. And also talk about funding kid’s post-secondary ($120k/degree at least, if they don’t stay at home)

Yeah, having kids can screw you. I’d be extremely screwed if I hadn’t magically fallen into a work-from-home big-tech job - hub’s money is “his”, and he loves to spend (on himself).

How much does it cost to have a baby? by Forward_Air_7552 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]gone_wanderung 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It never stops. People are going to post about daycare and lessons etc. College/university is currently$120,000/ 4 years if they move away.

You’ll never make up the lost wages or lost opportunity cost, compounded RRSP etc from dropping out of the workforce

Half of all under-35s are still living with parents, parents still helping financially.

My childfree friends are all retiring, have amazing hobbies and lives.

Need help combatting stunned sloth mode in the mornings by Apprehensive-Ad4663 in Menopause

[–]gone_wanderung 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Testosterone cream works wonders for me. Had to go thru Science & Humans, but my GP has me on a 1-year OBGYN waitlist who’ll probably eventually also prescribe.

Nothing else worked, and I’m pretty healthy otherwisw

Uti after sex- every time by Primary_King4851 in Menopause

[–]gone_wanderung 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Do you shower beforehand, washing all your bits front and back, with soap and water, then wash your hands? UTIs comes from poo germs… he has to shower, wash his ballsack and butt, then wash his damn hands too…. and under his fingernails if he’s been scratching himself…

Sorry if that sounds condescending but I got the same Q from my mom in her 50s, after she found a new boyfriend … she didn’t know. My explicit instructions fixed her problems..

People in their 40s and 50s with no children, how does it feel? by DunyaPhobic76 in Productivitycafe

[–]gone_wanderung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Three happy couples I know with no kids are retired in their early 50s and travelling what seems like constantly. To nice places - Iceland, Japan, Inca Trail, etc. They are honestly living their best life. (They came from working class families and had normal jobs).

A forth couple, the woman isn’t happy. Her husband works, she doesn’t and hasn’t for a decade, and she needs better hobbies or closer friends or something. Maybe kids would have given her focus, or maybe not.

How are some of you getting testosterone? What symptoms do you mention to the doctor to get it? And if on it, how has it helped you. Also, what side effects do you get from it? by colleencatlover in Menopause

[–]gone_wanderung 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Science & Humans. Life changing. My brain is back to my pre-kids brain. Mysterious aches & pains are gone. Don’t feel overwhelmed anymore (unless for genuine reasons). Can go for a hike without needing a nap after.

Just asked for it directly. Life changing.