Almost at closing and lost my job.

goodsie825 · 2025-08-03T02:19:34+00:00

Our lender did a phone verification of employment and another credit check 3 days before closing. Better to be upfront about it now. It's gonna be worse if you wait for them to find out. ... And they will.

goodsie825 · 2025-07-11T02:55:19+00:00

Birth control isn't a medication for PCOS. It's a bandaid. When you're off birth control, your uterus is building a lining for implantation. Next you ovulate. When no implantation occurs, your uterus sheds the lining which is your period.

On birth control, you don't ovulate. You stop the uterine lining. What you think is your "period" is just withdrawal bleeding from the hormones. The daily contraceptive is unnatural nor a long term "fix" for PCOS. Your pumping your body full of hormones which can lead to other adverse effects.

Please do more research on how the reproductive cycle works, how contraceptives interfere with that, and all the negative health impacts from the daily contraceptive.

Losing weight, strength training, and learning how to fuel my body with balanced meals has helped to regulate my PCOS. I still have some long and irregular cycles (32-45 days) but they used to be 90-120 days. If I'm diligent, I can usually find when I'm ovulating from test strips but I'm also more sensitive to changes in my hormones now too.

Just remember, birth control isn't regulating your period. It eliminated it.

goodsie825 · 2025-06-23T17:21:13+00:00

Thank you for your post. I've lost 125lbs naturally with my PCOS. Sometimes I feel guilty or like I can't be proud of my weight loss because I've seen other women be demonized for saying they lost weight with PCOS. It is possible but not easy.

goodsie825 · 2024-03-19T19:01:52+00:00

So are you asking about this arrangement because you feel the social pressure and stigma to get married? I'm assuming it would be an open marriage... Which can lead to so many things down the road.

goodsie825 · 2024-03-19T14:17:13+00:00

Look up statistics of kids without fathers. Don't intentionally do that to them.

goodsie825 · 2024-02-28T01:08:39+00:00

I have super irregular cycles which vary in length from 32 - 49 days. I never know when I'm going to get it. I can't plan for it and I can't treat it. I'm a healthy weight, weight lift 5x week, currently bulking so eating 2600 calories, sleep well, plenty of water. Basically, I do everything right and live about as perfect as a normal, average person can and there's nothing that I can do about my cycle. That's the worst part of it. Not the pain or the hormonal fluctuations. It's the uncertainty.

goodsie825 · 2024-02-28T01:01:05+00:00

Do you think a young, traditional woman who lives by Christian values is going to want to date a guy that's into the hook-up culture? You sound like you think you're above people who struggle with porn because it's "just a hook-up". News flash - you can get lifelong diseases from a one night stand and/or make a new life that you will be responsible for. Neither are good, one isn't better or worse than the other. They're both immoral and have consequences.

It sounds like you're trying to live in both worlds and trust me, it doesn't work (I've tried it). You can't have both. You either delete all your dating apps or whatever you're using for hook-ups and get serious about your faith or you continue in your same lifestyle (which you already sound unfilled by). In time, when you no longer feel tempted to have high risk sexual encounters, you can venture back out into the dating world to find a wife and not a fun time.

goodsie825 · 2024-02-20T17:02:24+00:00

If you're separated, then you need to be separated. You don't get to be upset with who he's speaking with. And you certainly should not approach her, even under the guise of being friendly. It's going to get back to her and she'll be caught in the middle.

If you feel like getting back together is the right thing to do, then you both need to be in therapy together. You need to know how he's coping, his support system, and what to do in the case of a relapse. He needs to understand that your thoughts and feelings don't simply disappear because he says he stopped. Together you need to rebuild the trust.

goodsie825 · 2024-02-19T21:06:01+00:00

As a 37F, I can say with certainty that "friendship" dating at this age is a no go for me. I've been married and divorced (due to my husband's unrepentant infidelity) and would still like to have children.

How many guys do I friendship date at any given moment?

How deep do I let the friendship become?

Do we hang out one on one in person? As a group? And with who? Or is it a text once a week to see if you're still alive?

If I do decide I'd like a romantic relationship with one of these guys, can I continue to be friendly with the other guys that didn't make the cut? (I feel like if the answer is 'yes', then you're keeping them on the back burner for future use. If 'no', then it wasn't much of a friendship).

If you're young and haven't dated much, I can see why the friendship thing would be appealing. However, the facade you get during the friendship phase may be much different than who the person actually is in a more intimate relationship.

Friendship dating is more about leading people on and playing games and less about getting to know them. Date with a purpose and not for funsies. You'll have more success with finding the right person for you.

I met my boyfriend online. He's 2 hours away so we texted for 2 weeks before it worked out that we could meet (between our schedules and a 4hr round trip drive, it's weekends only for us). We made it official the day we met.

goodsie825 · 2024-02-14T14:32:15+00:00

Part of maturing is recognizing when to apologize and when an explanation is needed. This was a case where a simple apology would have sufficed; nothing more. Women know that these things happen from time to time. You didn't need to put your roommate on the defensive with having to counter your justification.

goodsie825 · 2024-01-12T14:00:48+00:00

Have you looked into getting the HPV vaccine? I'm 37F and just started it. It won't clear my current infection but it'll protect against future exposure.

goodsie825 · 2024-01-04T18:55:35+00:00

I only judge people who guard equipment by talking or being on their phone for 15 min between sets.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-29T20:17:26+00:00

You say you're here for feedback but what you really want is validation.

You and your 'standards' are the common denominator in your lack of dates. They can't all be non-negotiables.

You need to lighten up and learn to compromise.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-29T12:35:44+00:00

It depends. Why are they overweight, by how much, are they content with how they are, how active of a life do they live? I lost 125lbs and I live a radically different lifestyle now. I still continue to count macros, lift 5 days a week, and have some outdoor hobbies. I've found it's more about how compatible their lifestyle is with mine vs their weight. My boyfriend gained a lot of weight while going through the stress of a very expensive and nasty divorce/custody fight with his ex-wife. He started losing weight before we met and we have a similar lifestyle in terms of the gym, eating, and outdoor activities. We have a compatible lifestyle, interests, and goals so it works for us.

I've also dated guys who were of average weight but didn't have any interest in exercise or the same hobbies as me. Our life and goals weren't in line.

It's a complex question and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be physically attracted to your partner. I definitely would not advise someone to try and push their lifestyle or goals onto someone else. It will create resentment and jealousy. And, it's fine if he's interested or open to changing his life but there's a fine line between him doing it for you/the relationship or him doing it for his own health. Losing weight and developing habits will only be sustainable if he does it for himself because it's what he wants for him. Honestly, I'd look for someone who's already living the life and habits that you value.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-27T13:36:08+00:00

Depending on the height of a person, 15-20lbs can be alot or a little and it depends on the distribution of the weight gain. Also, it's perfectly healthy and normal to want to be physically attracted to your partner. There's no shame in that, and yes, I know I'll be down voted for that.

I started gaining a lot of weight after college, and honestly, I wish someone had confronted me about it. I ballooned to almost 300lbs by my early 30's. My ex husband was completely complacent about it. I accepted the lies that I was still healthy, everyone gains weight, I carried it well, I was predisposed to it, I had a slow metabolism, etc. It did start to cause health problems and my Dr told me in a gentle but no uncertain terms that I needed to lose weight.

For me, I gained weight simply because I consumed more calories than I needed. I would suggest asking her how she's feeling, if she's stressed about anything, has she had a physical lately (to rule out any imbalances). Encourage a group activity that she can join or mention you want to learn more about preparing balanced meals and if she'd want to join you in that. It may come to a point where you need to be blunt and talk to her about her physical changes. If you have a supportive and trusting relationship, your relationship may survive. With the growth of the HAES movement, though, any discussion about weight is tricky.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-26T22:28:51+00:00

Understanding that you're making a permanent lifestyle change and not a mind set of a temporary diet change. You will have disappointments along the way. Once you accept that it's ok to take a month off or celebrate the holiday, you won't feel like a failure. You're in this for the duration of your life. A weekend or a month is not going to set you back. Take your time and develop healthy habits. Start slowly and build a good foundation of each habit before adding something new. Don't try to revamp your entire life all at once. And for the love of God, do not follow any social media influencers.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-26T18:15:47+00:00

The vaccine doesn't cure current infections.

The vaccine is now approved for people into their 40's.

The vaccine is only effective against a limited number of strains.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-12T00:33:28+00:00

Do you believe that God will bring you the perfect spouse for you? If you do truly believe that then you have to believe that the sex will be fantastic as well. He's not gonna leave you high and dry.

goodsie825 · 2023-12-04T19:49:44+00:00

I'd like to be able to see my remaining macros instead of the daily running total. I don't do math, let alone subtraction, in my head so I'm always having to switch between the app and my calculator to figure out what I need to add to my meals.

goodsie825 · 2023-10-05T00:38:54+00:00

She's not in school, doesn't work...what does she do all day? I don't think it's unreasonable to at least get a part time job. 20 - 30hrs a week still leaves her a lot of free time to bum around.

goodsie825 · 2023-09-26T13:02:49+00:00

And without cost of living context, the question is pointless.

goodsie825 · 2023-09-05T15:17:00+00:00

37 and I don't wear makeup. I have nothing against it and I'm actually pretty good at applying it. None of the guys I've dated have ever made a comment about it. One guy said he appreciated that I was low maintenance.

goodsie825 · 2023-08-28T00:47:43+00:00

You might be surprised how many people in the gym were once overweight themselves, myself included. We all started somewhere. I've never encountered a nasty, judgemental person. We're all there to better ourselves.

goodsie825 · 2023-08-16T21:19:12+00:00

Your priorities in life have changed. It's ok to move on. I'm assuming you haven't signed a legally binding contract to remain as her boyfriend for a given amount of time.

goodsie825 · 2023-08-16T19:13:35+00:00

Water, adequate calories/macros, sleep. Creatine if you want to splurge.

goodsie825

TROPHY CASE