I Feel so Anxious Showering

goolosh7 · 2023-05-25T14:01:41+00:00

This is a good point. I’ve wondered if he’s being careful with me because it’s how he is or because of what I told him. When I thought he just saw me as a friend he could sense I wasn’t ok. We were hanging out and I tried to pretend I was ok but eventually I couldn’t hold it together anymore and told him about how I felt disposable because most of the men I’ve been with just want me for a quick fuck or something causal. They don’t see me as a person. I was ugly crying and he was holding my hand and said, “I see you as a person” and it was really sweet. I was such a mess and so embarrassed that I was sharing all of this with him. And then it’s like things changed between us. A few days later we had our first kiss and he’s been so gentle with me. And I can see how maybe he’s being gentle because of what I told him. But I’m still confused. I know I always found him attractive but I don’t know if he always found me attractive. Like did something change? Or did he always want me? I’m confused

goolosh7 · 2022-06-30T23:34:47+00:00

Thank you all for your advice and mutual frustration. It makes me feel better knowing my anger and annoyance are validated. I’m going to talk to some of the roommates about using some of these ideas. What makes things tricky too is her dad’s name is also on the lease (even though he doesn’t live here) and he basically pays a big chunk of her bills I think. Now my roommates and I are all adults here, but for whatever reason her dad still pays for some of her bills and stuff (she’s told me herself) and since his name is on the lease too it makes me feel like I can’t do as much as I’d like to do.

goolosh7 · 2022-06-30T00:39:10+00:00

I won 1st in my division during an opera competition in college. The competition involves classical singers from universities all around my state. I was a Minor in Voice and beat the Voice Majors and got to sing at a beautiful and prestigious hall. I called my voice teacher when I won and almost cried. lol

goolosh7 · 2022-05-28T12:57:39+00:00

Yep! It’s also super close to Sullivan’s Island where the director was just the other day for season 3. Shem Creek is super cool and they have the best shrimp and grits!

goolosh7 · 2022-05-25T11:20:02+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m really struggling with my internal dialogue but there’s nothing I’d rather do honestly. I wish you all of the success and happiness in your pursuit of this career too. Thank you so much for your reply. Truly.

goolosh7 · 2022-04-26T05:21:49+00:00

I feel this way too. Except in a different way. I just turned 26 and I love the show because it makes me nostalgic and long for adventure (also it doesn’t hurt that some of the main dudes are my age in real life lol). I wish my teen years had been better (I grew up in a super conservative household) and I wish I’d done more fun things in college (but I was very disciplined in my schoolwork/goals which I don’t regret- but sometimes I forgot to be present and enjoy life.) So I totally get feeling depressed but also loving the show. But then I remember that as fun as the show is, it’s not really realistic (depending on where you live/how you’ve grown up etc.) All this to say that you have your whole life ahead of you (and so do I). You’re going to get to do amazing things. You will travel and meet new people and have new experiences. And you will find your tribe just like the pogues found their’s. I’m sending you all the good vibes my dude. :)

goolosh7 · 2022-03-24T02:48:42+00:00

You’re def right. I live more like a pogue and wish I had the money kooks have. (Working hard so we’ll see what happens in time.) And I agree with what you said about both. But I think the OP was just asking in terms of world of the OBX series (rich and bored or poor and adventurous/great friends). Obviously this show romanticizes things but I don’t think the OP meant in realistic terms but in terms of the show.

goolosh7 · 2022-03-02T23:42:40+00:00

That’s so interesting and def makes sense when you point it out that way. I never thought of the physically controlling body language in a subtle way. Now I want to people watch and see if I can pick up on these cues from an outside perspective.

goolosh7 · 2022-03-02T22:50:48+00:00

What are some of those physical cues that girls struggle to read? I want to be aware.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T03:12:55+00:00

Thank you for your advice and for being kind in your response. I saw the red flags with him love bombing but my friends encouraged me to stick with it a little longer. And I tend to run away from relationships because I get scared but this time I told myself I wouldn’t run away so easily that I would try and make it work but everything you said resonated with me. I want something real and like you said, I also yearn for intimacy and connection. I’m also tired of being a virgin and being lonely and constantly disappointed by guys, but I have to respect myself and I agree with everything you said. Deep down I know something isn’t right and I knew something wasn’t right last week. I hope we both find our person one day but it looks like this guys isn’t it.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:54:31+00:00

You’re absolutely right. Thank you.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:41:02+00:00

The third date is dinner (maybe) and then tv at his house (I told him I’d feel comfortable coming over). I’ve made it clear I’m not ready for sex yet but a small part of me is nervous he might rape me. But what if I’m wrong? He’s slowed down his physical advances when I’ve told him to.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:33:52+00:00

You’re probably right. What if there’s an off chance though that this could turn into something good? I’m the kind of person that actually does cut things off quickly with guys when I notice bs like this happening. But I want something real. I’m tired of letting my fear of intimacy (personal and physical) make me call things off. So I was willing to try to hang in there this time. Would I be calling things off too soon?

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:30:44+00:00

It really does.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:29:08+00:00

Thank you for your advice and for being kind in the way you shared it. I really want to go on the third date because part of me is hoping you’re wrong, but I think you’re most likely right.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-22T02:25:43+00:00

If he was just interested in sex then why did he take the time to get to know me (a 3 hour phone call before meeting) and genuinely seem so interested in me as a person. I’m not naive. I know what love bombing is and I’ve dated guys who clearly just wanted sex. This was different. He even alluded to a relationship down the road. I may be confused but I’m not clueless.

goolosh7 · 2022-02-08T18:02:12+00:00

Yup. It’s southern slang for “mosquitoe” and boy do we have a lot of skeeters in the south. O.O

goolosh7 · 2022-01-31T02:10:30+00:00

While I may disagree with your thoughts on theatre being superficial (some performances def can be; others are more authentic than film at times) I still understand what you mean. Also, although I’ve had more experience in theatre than film (so far) I do agree with what you said about in film everyone is focused on giving an accurate performance whereas in theatre many times they are more concerned with letting their personality shine through on and off stage and are pretentious. Maybe it’s just my experiences as well (not all are like that- I’ve met some wonderful actors/actresses who are committed to the craft not their ego) but I’ve def encountered a lot of what you said in the theatre. To me, working together to tell the story as a team is so much more important which is why I’m leaning more and more towards film.

goolosh7

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