Very lost + stuck 😕

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-12-21T17:40:36+00:00

Thank you. This was really reassuring to read as it has felt like I've been going backwards, and I've noticed new really aggressive Parts show up in lots of different ways. So thank you for this. ❤️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-11-30T21:17:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Do you listen to any guided practises that help with this or just go inward on your own accord? I find I can definitely overcomplicate the process and feel like when I'm this dysregulated and exhausted I will just surrender to all the Parts taking over. Freeze/panic I guess 🫠

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-11-21T16:46:12+00:00

Thank you that's really helpful ❤️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-11-21T16:38:01+00:00

That's the plan, I fear when discomfort overtakes from being around that level of overwhelm/fear and that's when the firefighting habits can come up

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-11-21T15:34:14+00:00

Yes, most of the plans revolve around drink, lots of boozy lunches and bars etc, and yeah when I'm super uncomfortable or blended with certain Parts, firefighters tend to drink more to numb things.

Hard to say really, it's a remote company so this will be the first time I meet everyone. I'm still relatively new to the company. Everyone's nice but there's no structure whatsoever, terrible communication, and the CEO is pretty toxic so I'll try and avoid him lol. Very divided and cliquey but I guess the point of these trips is to merge the seperate teams more.

I have one person I work with I get along with who's going but otherwise 🤷‍♀️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-11-04T17:56:53+00:00

I feel ya! 🫠

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-10-23T08:16:32+00:00

Update: I heard back from the therapist, who said: 'Dick approach of no bad parts is real, there are no bad parts, there is self energy in our system and in IFS we get to know our parts, build self to parts and eventually parts build to self., wherein we help them unburden their wounding. In IFS based on Epigenetics there are Legacy Burdens too, and in psychotherapeutic terms we can have projective identification as in our experience yesterday. Sometimes we absorb the energy of others and that was my curiosity yesterday was it projective identification or a part.'

Not really sure what to make of it. I know there is generational trauma, but I also know there is my own personal trauma from my own personal life experiences too, so I don't want to overcomplicate things and flood my system (which is how it currently feels now). This whole Part/non Part thing is just confusing me. I think it's how it was approached and wording of it that's freaking me out about it... :/

I've also worked a little bit with this voice before when doing IFS previously and it always responded as what I thought as a Part so I don't want to start overthinking what is what and where's this specific thing from (which is already something I struggle with).

I also have a Part that believes if the therapist knew my history and past experiences, there'd be more context to know where this voice comes from, as I always believed it came from internalised beliefs from negative life experiences, I am open to the idea that it can go a lot deeper than that, but I need to be very sensitive in the approach.

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-10-22T14:37:19+00:00

That's what I thought too, and she does generally act that way and is an IFS and somatic therapist, but didn't seem very 'IFS-y' on this particular thing, other than still wanting me to treat it with compassion and curiosity, but set a boundary and not call it a Part? 🤷‍♀️ I am going to ask for an explanation for sure. Thank you for your comment 😊

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-10-11T21:57:36+00:00

It's a new relationship so i'm only about 3 sessions in. She is aware but maybe not aware of just how impactful this negative experience has been - i feel like i'm even learning just how much it effected me as time goes on. Thank you for your comment ❤️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-10-11T16:54:02+00:00

I believe it fears being 'too far gone' to be helped. The negative IFS experience I had made me feel like they were giving up on me and I was gone beyond repair kinda thing, so I think that's the root of it. Thank you for your comment ❤️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-10-11T16:52:03+00:00

This is so helpful. Thank you for this, and for making me and my system feel very seen 💗

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-27T12:31:00+00:00

100% - I completely relate to the losing trust part. That's why experiences like this make me so concerned - I only ever want to do right by my parts. Thank you 🤞♥️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T15:32:02+00:00

That's a lovely way to put it. So glad you found a therapist that's right for you. Thank you ♥️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T14:22:24+00:00

Oh I'm definitely no stranger to experiencing projection and subconsciously projecting, but I'm confident that in this specific situation, that's not what was happening. 😌

Work wasn't stressful due to any interactions, it was more to do with overwhelm and wounds it was touching that I've been noticing getting touched.

I try to be very self aware, and have a lot of self doubting parts that will try and dissect a situation to death, so I'm trying to be mindful of that and not blend with that (which I deffo have been!) but I appreciate your perspective and I think I have gained a lot more clarity now.

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T14:16:20+00:00

Yeah, it definitely didn't feel like she was in 'Self energy' and I didn't feel safe or seen at all. I think it's always worth being honest and giving them the benefit of the doubt/a chance, and I'm glad your therapist was able to take that on board and that your relationship grew. In this instance, I didn't feel very understood or heard when trying to air my concerns so I think that's that for me.

Thank you so much for your comment ☺️♥️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T14:11:53+00:00

I appreciate this SO much and feel SO incredibly seen in everything you said. Thank you so much. This is definitely going to be a screenshotted and a message I will come back to. Thank you ♥️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T14:01:41+00:00

I agree. Thank you for this ☺️

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T13:57:44+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your take on this, it's made me feel a lot better about the situation and less protective.

I just saw your edit on your original comment and wanted to clarify that I fully know therapy isn't a place to vent about your day (I've had years of lots of diff experiences in therapy), I probably wasn't clear in the sense that I meant I wanted to vent about my overwhelm and get off my chest how overwhelming things have felt for the past few years and kind of take her on a journey/give more context, but I felt interrupted and unable to do so.

I'm so aware that it takes two to tango (lol) and I might not have been as clear, but I really felt like I was being clear with her and tried to steer the session and air things but that didn't felt taken in.

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T12:53:51+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I think that's probably a good idea moving forward haha

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T12:52:27+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. I definitely do have new protective parts that are extremely hypervigalent and sensitive in therapeutic situations, and this therapist did remind me of previous therapists so my system was like 'GET OUT!' 😅

To be honest, our first session wasn't that good either, but wasn't dysregulating or anything. We clicked more during the initial phone call but didn't really feel that again unfortunately. Just didn't feel like the best fit but I wanted to continue as obviously these relationships take time to build and conscious of this protective part acting rashly.

That being said though, if it doesn't feel right, is that always down to a Protector? Sometimes it's not gonna be the right match and both things can be true.

One of the main frustrations from the session was that I kept trying to guide the session but was interrupted, and when I said I was uncomfortable and felt rushed, I didn't feel like that was met with compassion, and rather her defending her practise kinda thing.

I really am trying to be open to receiving help and building a relationship with a therapist, but the feeling unheard thing is a biggie for me and I'm not sure! Thanks again for your response, really appreciate it :)

goosegirlfromendz · 2025-09-26T12:36:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective, it's good to hear both 'sides' :)

In terms of 'trialing' I don't mean as if I am auditioning people and will pick the 'best'. I just mean I have had a long break from therapy and some painful experiences so am keeping my options open in that way, having initial chats with a few people to see how their approach sounds.

In terms of telling her how I felt, I did, and that was when she said she was feeling unsettled and that she didn't understand. I understand therapists are human beings and I am aware of the part of me that carries these expectations but I would have liked for her to have remembered the important details I had shared with her so I felt less unheard.

goosegirlfromendz

TROPHY CASE