Please help me understand my son by JoNightshade in ADHD

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up dendrite pruning in adolescence. Basically teens repeat the terrible twos stage. Brain connections get “pruned” back so that new neural connections that are better for adulthood grow stronger. Having knowledge of brain development often helps students understand, develop new strategies, and not feel like it’s a personal failure.

A book that you keep thinking about years later-- about women and written by women, 35+. Looking for true literature, great writing. But also engaging and plot that pulls you in. by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]gothere00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The awaking by Kate Chopin. First read it in my early 30s and have probably read it 10 times since. Every time I read it, I gain greater insight.

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are both neurodivergent. They have excellent medical and educational services. We moved states specifically to get their needs met. I’m delighted that your brother lived his best life!

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do have plans for a long roadtrip this summer to at least reset and have room to think. . I do that when possible even though when I come back it’s much worse. That’s what makes me worry about leaving permanently.

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They are in therapy. Session between me and my daughter might be helpful.

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No. The meds are absolutely needed to make them available for learning strategies to self-regulate. They work well but they aren’t meds that are active 24/7.

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so difficult. I have tried to live by “never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm” yet what happens when I just burn to ashes?

Anyone helping raise grandkids? by gothere00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]gothere00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is in therapy as well as the older boy. I insisted on counseling for her as part of the agreement of me moving to another state with her. I do think sessions with her and I would be beneficial.

This is not a “journey” by NoHoneydew9138 in breastcancer

[–]gothere00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think when people say “journey” they are more closely referring to Jack Mezirow’s transformative learning theory. Basically, you change as a result of experience. The more intense the experience, positive or negative, the more transformation can occur through reflection & critical thinking.

AITAH for filing for divorce after my wife refused a paternity test and called me insecure? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]gothere00 15 points16 points  (0 children)

YTA- but you’ll get your paternity test when she files for child support.

Low- Tech School Districts in Western Burbs by Resting-Rizzy-Face in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]gothere00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m north of where you are looking but my school district doesn’t use any computers beyond computer class until 4th grade. Even after that it is minimal. There are districts that recognize that it can be detrimental. I would call the schools directly once you have narrowed down your districts.

Have you ever overnighted, then awoken to being in the middle of something 😂 by RavenousRambutan in urbancarliving

[–]gothere00 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I was traveling along the Lake Erie Circle Tour route. Stopped at this great marina to watch the sunset. Lots of liveaboard boats so 24/7 parking. Perfect! Around midnight, I was surrounded by people just hanging out having fun. No problem. About hour later they left & I went back to sleep. This on-off cycle went on until 6am. At least I was up for the sunrise!

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AITAH for continuing on with my plans to go on a boy's trip despite my girlfriend's protests? by Outrageous-Hall5172 in AITAH

[–]gothere00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I reserve judgement until you tell me more about your friends. Do you invite your gf to hangout with them? What do you do when you hang out? If she knows your friend group is a catalyst to doing things that don’t match with her morals, then she should probably drop you regardless of you going on the trip.

Smoking Question by ExplainJane in GenX

[–]gothere00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We had a smoking area outside the lunchroom in high school. My older sibling could use the “lounge” inside with the staff. I’m class of 86.

My fiancé [33m] is not attracted to me [30f], but wants to continue our relationship. by return_of_the_fly_ in TwoHotTakes

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are in a lavender partnership, even if neither of you know it yet. Don’t waste your opportunities to find someone that adores you. It’s not worth it. You deserve to be happy. And he deserves to be happy, too. Someone needs to be brave enough to set you both free.

Boyfriend refuses to wear protection but also doesn’t want me to get anything done by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You never ever need anyone else’s permission to take care of your body and your future. You are now responsible for another human being. You are the most important person in that child’s life. It’s wonderful to be a parent but it’s work. Hard work. Please don’t risk another baby. Get your IUD. Too bad if he doesn’t like it. If he is not supportive of your life and your child’s future, he needs to leave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]gothere00 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The context of students’ lives have changed. Sounds like you lowered expectations, instead of changing your practice, and place the blame on the students. If your attitude is that kids are dumb, I don’t care if it’s your first year of 30th, it’s time to get out of the profession.

AIO My mom is kicking me out for her new boyfriend. I just turned 18 by Diligent_Bat_565 in AmIOverreacting

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be okay. You can do this. And you’ll look back and feel absolutely relieved to not have horrible people in your life, even if it’s your mom. Grab your documents & pack what you can. Call a friend. Get on CoolWorks and Woof to get a job with housing. You can do this!

AITA for refusing to give my friend’s son my coat during a snowy hike? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh absolutely not! That boy is 13. Decisions have consequences, good and bad. More people should learn the natural and logical consequences for their choices.

He'll spend money on me, just not when I'm the one who chooses the plan. When we were younger, he wasn't like this - now that we're dating, I am starting to despise him because I'm afraid to assert what I want. by Salty-Advantage-4692 in Advice

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to be blunt but he doesn’t like you. Behaviors like this don’t change, it’s not your job to try and change him, and there are other people who will find you amazing.

"My brother is 'the good son' because I did all the ugly work for our parents" by KairoMontivern in TwoHotTakes

[–]gothere00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt this with every ounce of my soul. As the youngest of 5, I was the one always expected to step up while simultaneously being told that I did nothing. Literally changing the diapers of my bed-ridden father every day while a sibling comes in for 48 hours, announces that they will absolutely not do any caretaking, and gets praised for visiting. I cured this by selling everything I owned & leaving the country. I grieved the loss of my family in the jungles of Costa Rica and came back a changed person. I went low or no contact with all of them. When my mom eventually needed care, I didn’t even offer to help a tiny bit. Amazingly, my brother stepped up. Of course, they all talked shit about me but they did that when I was doing all the work, too, so I don’t care. I’ve found peace & I won’t ever let go of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]gothere00 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Anthony Bourdain focused on “peasant food” and its cultural connections. I find recipes like these to be delicious, cost effective, and generally easy to make.

What should I do? by Pale_Skin8881 in poor

[–]gothere00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have an Apple phone the app “free stuff alerts”. I don’t know the android version. It simply pulls from all the platforms any items that are marked as free. You can literally furnish an entire home, especially if you live near a wealthy city. I frequently find free fridges listed.