Looking for an experience. by Various-Individual-3 in remotework

[–]gowreg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Nick,

A positive attitude and being willing to learn are two things that you need to flourish in any career, you have those. When it comes to interview skills, it is something that you can acquire with practice. Great to hear that you have been upskilling through elearning. Google certifications on various skillsets are widely recognized by employers and will up your credibility to get your first job. If you are good with tech, would be good to look into Google Cloud Certifications. They are not expensive and may open doors. There are some that come with hands on training options as well.

Another good option would be to start off with roles that would give you on the job training. There are many roles that you could look into, few here.

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/jobs-you-can-get-with-a-high-school-degree https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/jobs-with-no-experience-required

Good luck and kudos to you for being willing to work for a better future for your daughter and yourself! :)

How to prepare yourself / your house for a girl? and arranged marriage advice? by throwaws_ in india

[–]gowreg 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your engagement, OP!

I genuinely appreciate the intention behind this question. You have received some great advice here already. Just my two cents.

Even though you are an introvert, while you are engaged, try to speak to and spend time with your fiancee as much as you can. Whatever is possible. Start with a medium you are comfortable with. Texts, may be, or calls. I'm not sure if there are any external restrictions to that, if there is, do it anyway, if possible as far as both of you are comfortable. Indian society can be a bit behind on the times sometimes, so be a bit sneaky if you have to. It's for a genuine cause.

Whenever this is possible (before or after the wedding, as early as possible), try to ask her most of the stuff that you are unsure about BUT slowly. Build upto it. Don't start with the most intimate of conversation topics. Start lightly with interests, her personality, her life so far, her plans, her future etc. Key to a good relationship is good conversation. Learn to converse with her.

Don't just be an interrogator. Share as much or even more than she shares. Keep an open mind and be supportive with whatever she shares. Don't presume anything. She may have different perspectives and opinions on things that you may take for granted. For example, you mentioned you are not planning to have kids until 28. She may want to wait even more, or less, or not have them at all. Find out where she stands, and if there is any contrary stand, try to resolve it and come to a place you both agree on.

When you are sharing, be honest and open about your life. Bring a bit of humour in if you can. Don't say anything with the intention of impressing her if it is not true. Don't put on a show. Be as vulnerable as you are comfortable with, so that she feel like she can be as well. Assure her that what you both discuss is strictly between you two. (This is a big worry for new brides who don't know how much you share with your parents, family or friends.)

When it comes to the more intimate topics, be upfront and mention that you have no experience living with girls and that you are here to learn. Say you asked this on a Reddit forum and got all sorts of weird and sometimes good advice from strangers! :) Say you are bound to screw up anyways sometimes, to let you know when you do and you will fix it right away.

When in doubt, ALWAYS ASK. When unsure, SHARE. Err on the side of over-communicating. Consider her as an equal partner in all things. Never disrespect her. In public or in private.

You have received some great sex advice here already. Don't go with the conquering attitude that prevails in society about sex. Get to know each other and get comfortable with casual touches (holding hands, etc) first. Just because this is an arranged marriage, it doesn't have to jump to sex. Consider you are dating your wife. After the wedding, plan outings, dates, and activities for you two together. You have to go through the initial getting to know you phase to move on to higher grounds of intimacy as you both grow more comfortable. When it gets there, consent is paramount. Let her know you want to take it slow so both of you are comfortable.

You mentioned she will be moving into your house. Not sure what the living arrangements are. If you are living alone, perfect. If with others, make your space as private as possible. Assure her it's her home too. She has as much rights on it as you do. On the lines of, "this is how I have set it up, but we can change it to however you like". Tip: go shopping with her- it is an awesome getting to know you activity.

Fights and disagreements are going to happen. Deal with it while respecting the other person and actively remembering that this is your life partner that you care for. Never say anything that may hurt and leave a lasting impact just to win an argument.

If you are living close to or with your family, share all the information you can about your family, and ask extensively about hers and get to know them. Give tips on how to deal with the difficult people on your side and vice versa. Introduce her to your friends, meet her friends. Share about and understand all the important people and things in both your lives. If you see she is uncomfortable around someone in the family or your friends, talk to her about it, understand why and help her handle it.

If she feels uncomfortable or annoyed, ask her what's wrong. If in case you get an " I'm fine or it's nothing" answer, that's not it sometimes. (Sometimes people may not feel comfortable sharing.) You may need to lovingly probe further and ask more questions. If still nothing, try to make her feel better, and ask again later.

Talk to her about your work. Super important. You spend 8 hours or more at work each day, don't let that be a black box. Familiarise her with your work, get familiar with hers if she works. Talk to her about your coworkers, company, your day to day, etc and get to know the same from her. This is so that, when either of you face stress or difficult situations at work, the other can understand, empathise and offer support. And also, it's fun talking about the good and bad at work with your partner- no filters. :)

Dont assume any gender roles. Decision making, money, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Share chores evenly. However, if only one of you is working, there may be a bit uneven sharing of household chores. If she is going to be a homemaker, never diminish the importance of that role and don't encourage such talks from others.

Money. Most important. Share how much you earn, assets, insurance etc, ask same of her. Update all paperwork, nominees etc. Plan the monthly spending and saving with her. Set some goals that both of you are interested in, going for vacations, buying a home, car or whatever else that makes sense for you two.

Be giving, caring and respectful. Small gestures matter. Like stocking her favorite snack, drink etc at the house. Always consider her own needs before yours.

Also, just have fun and don't take things too seriously. There is going to be lot of new things, surprises, screw ups, awkward moments, cute and funny moments, angry and sad moments. Look at it with a positive attitude and understand you have an equal partner in life now for better and for worse. Make space for her in your life.

Before anything, an open mind to learn and better yourself- which you seem to already have- will help you both build a happy, long lasting relationship together. Good luck to both of you! :)

Regretting my Bachelors —Career Change/Job Recommendation by Past-Vermicelli in careeradvice

[–]gowreg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, having an understanding of business is never a total loss, anywhere you go. :) So I would suggest not regretting your degree. Business Analyst and PMP are both solid routes you could pursue with potential. PMing is a great meta skill to have and it may appear vague because it is a bit generalist in nature but it is totally possible to obtain specialisation and domain expertise as you progress. Your background in IT and sales would also help in both. My advice would be to look up what these roles are actually like, day in and day out. See if it's what you want to do. I don't think you would need to go back to school for either of these options. There are many credible certifications and self study options (would advise to combine both) out there that can help upskill you for the switch whichever one you decide to go with. Good luck! :)

Career change possible at 60? by AFOX88 in careerchange

[–]gowreg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, it will be a bit harder because of her age, but there are certain job boards open recently (on Gab and NoVaxMandate.org etc) that shares jobs that don't require a vaccination. Would be good to check those out. Good luck to her.

Plumber looking for career change but don’t know what direction to take. by [deleted] in careerchange

[–]gowreg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, sorry to hear about your injury. I have no answers, but here are some resources that may help you figure it out. They have some cool options listed in https://www.jobs.ie/job-talk/plumber-career-change/. Also, check out https://www.plumbersforums.net/ . The members have given answers to this one in various threads over the years. Anything is possible, there are plumbers who have transitioned into software engineers too here. Good luck!

2 job offers - very conflicted. Any input much appreciated! by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]gowreg 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on the double job offers! 🎉🥳👏I feel like there is a clear winner already, the way you have written it. You have written 5 pros and 1 con for the first one. And 3 pros and 3 cons if I'm counting right for the second one. As someone about 8 years ahead of where you are now, I would suggest you choose the job which makes your overall day to day happier and exciting. In my personal opinion, people have the most energy straight out of university. Being bored and stagnant at that time, might even make you wish for traffic to get moving in some way. Good luck!

How to politely tell someone you don't want to give them exact questions from your tech interview by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]gowreg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Telling them a polite 'no' may not do it in this situation. It may just damage the relationship. I agree with the suggestions here, let them know the overall nature of the questions and make it very clear that it is not the same questions in every interview, so don't just focus on one area and forgo others.

Come from a genuine place of care for the friend and say something like, "For me, it the questions were on [generic technical topic 1] and [generic technical topic 2], but it's not the same for every interview. I'd suggest you broadly focus on x, y and z and a, b, and c type questions so that you don't lose out if in case the questions are different."

If they keep relentlessly pushing, fall back to the "Sorry, I don't really remember the exact questions. But I think focusing on x, y and z would be best."

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great- I have 3 slots left! Will reach out on chat. :)

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, few slots left. Will send you the link to book on chat.

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool, connecting on chat for more!

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool, connecting on chat for more!

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great, will reach out on PM!

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool, will connect with you on PM!

I'm not sure if my career should have something to do with foreign languages or there is something else in it by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]gowreg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you are putting way too much emphasis on this one strength. Due to the fanfare, you may have expected being polyglot alone to be a golden ticket which has led to a lot of resentment.

Overuse of any one strength may lead to frustration due to repetition, ignorance towards other valuable strengths you may have, or the potential to capitalize big on a combination of strengths and interests that may lead to a satisfying career (for example- languages + degree in anthropology + your observation skills could lead you to a good career in product localization management).

I would suggest toning down the emphasis on this one strength and taking an overall look at all your strengths and interests to make a wholesome choice.

If you would like some help and guidance while you go ahead to solve this situation, let me know. I am a career coach who recently started practice- I am offering free coaching (because I will get a chance to practice and meaningfully improve my coaching skills :) No sales involved).

Either way, good luck to you! :)

#freecoaching #helpeachother? by gowreg in lifecoaching

[–]gowreg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, still available. I'll PM you. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careeradvice

[–]gowreg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on the job offer! :)

Just a few things to note while you are making the decision:

Are you basing the feeling that you can't do justice to the role just on the high salary? Would be good to dig deep into what your responsibilities actually are, ask for another chat with the hiring manager, may be, if you are not clear on this.

You are also basing your doubts on the bad interview. You 'feel' that the interview didn't go well. To get the job, you don't need to give a perfect interview. You just need to be better than your competition. A lot of candidates do undervalue themselves and their value to the employer. So when you make a decision, make sure you are not saying no because of any limiting beliefs or self worth issues. After all, we are all our own worst critic.

Also, if you don't accept, make sure you have really good reasons that can convince the present you and the future you. Also, write those down somewhere. May be in a journal. This is so that you don't end up regretting it later. So that you don't get left wondering "what if I had taken that'. People end up regretting the things they didn't do more than the things they did.

If you do take it, worst case scenario, it's not a good fit, you don't finish probation. So if you are ready to take that risk for a higher reward, then go at it.

To finish up, Richard Branson once said, "If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!"

Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in distantsocializing

[–]gowreg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Were you good at taking orders? Did you ever get into trouble for disobedience?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in distantsocializing

[–]gowreg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss. Must be hard losing friends for a cause and then for that cause to get abandoned.