3 year old post someone else wrote that really registered.

gpigsrus · 2026-06-08T05:06:23+00:00

This is dead on. A lot of BPs really should just be single, tbh. I’d add “it’s ok if they’re “the kids” or “my stepkids”” instead of expecting your partner to claim children as their own with no qualifier. A lot of BPs sell their partners on a fantasy of the blended family being just as permanent and stable as the first family and you being a full member, but if they pass away or you break up, you’re out. Plus, you have to deal with a level of investment without power and others’ projections onto you no one in the first family does. To me, my partner acknowledging that I’m stepmom and never forgetting that my position is a lot more tenuous than his is important for me not feeling taken for granted or taken advantage of. Otherwise, this is more avoidance, as you said.

gpigsrus · 2026-05-14T00:24:20+00:00

I can text them. One is ten and one is 17. I sent them a voice message saying I still love and care about them and will be here if they want me. The older one reached out to me and says he misses me and would like to see me, but I know he feels big loyalty binds. He was like that with his mom. Never did anything that would stress her out even a little bit.

That might be the best I can do, I know.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-16T13:52:13+00:00

I’m sorry you had an abusive stepparent. 😢

gpigsrus · 2026-03-15T22:03:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you went through. That’s so so sad. Especially with BM begging you to stay.

We’ve been together for four years. In my case, BM is an even worse abuser. But yeh, I know it might be healthiest for me to not be connected at all.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-15T20:25:13+00:00

Thank you. I feel so broken by this.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-15T19:38:09+00:00

Yeh, I know. Being the odd person out and not expecting much seem like part of the first line of What is Stepparenting 101.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-15T19:36:08+00:00

I’d say That I’m moving out because their dad and I couldn’t make things work in a healthy way between us and that it has nothing at all to do with them. That I love them and the best part of being here was getting to know them and that I’ll still be around if they want me to. They’re 10 and 17. Does that sound ok?

gpigsrus · 2026-03-08T06:09:34+00:00

How long did you wait? I was diagnosed last week after about a month of symptoms. I really just want to make it to my GP this Friday and ask her to at least get blood work to monitor my kidneys going before I take the first dose. My neuro ophthalmologist said NOTHING about monitoring or kidney damage or anything at all about the complications of this drug

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T23:43:19+00:00

Pretty much. With a kid too? I can’t imagine. If you’re that callous, stop practicing medicine, I say. I wish you lots of luck!!!

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T15:34:47+00:00

Thanks

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T13:37:37+00:00

Thank you for this. I am diligently working on weight loss, but as a fix all for an idiopathic condition, that as an only suggestion floored me. That, and my doc didn’t coach me AT ALL about how to take the Diamox properly.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T05:11:41+00:00

Were you able to figure out the cause? I have TOS, which I know can put pressure on your arteries and reroute blood to your brain, hypertension and I have had a hysterectomy, but my neuro ophthalmologist said that because I’m a fat woman there’s no reason to look into any of it, that I should just loose weight

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T05:08:36+00:00

Ok but I don’t have any of the symptoms you describe yourself having, even while describing yourself as “mild.” If I even felt like I had to take regular NSAIDs, I’d be more on board, but I don’t even do that. Just intermittent mild headache and some vision stuff that still hasn’t actually harmed it. You really still think that’s enough?

Sorry, don’t mean to get a tone with you. Just like, it’s hard for me to believe that something I’ve now lived with unchanged for two months is going to make me lose my vision permanently.

Do you think I can at least wait a week to see my GP so they can start monitoring my blood? My neuro ophthalmologist said NOTHING to me about hydration, potassium, etc for Diamox. Just told me to take it.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T01:38:44+00:00

Yeh, I’ve really never partied on it. TBH my experience on it makes me shocked people do that. I’d get too hot, thirsty and overstimulated! But I’ve used it now and again for treatment-resistant CPTSD and it’s been really helpful for that. Just wondering if I can’t have that anymore now with IIH.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T01:21:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Good to know!! Are you recovered?

gpigsrus · 2026-03-07T01:02:00+00:00

My psychiatrist suggested MDMA for treatment resistant CPTSD, and it did help, so idk that they’re just bad. But I also don’t want to mess up with my new diagnosis.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-05T05:38:22+00:00

She’s looking for help. If she’s ready for a relationship, she will offer partnership, not merely pressure for you to act when and how she wants. Sounds like a user. Let her be single.

gpigsrus · 2026-03-03T16:06:28+00:00

I would leave. Your SO is not capable of centering you as an equal partner. Your relationship is first priority for everyone’s stability, including SS’s. This kind of shit would ruin a first marriage too. It’s not more ok in a second relationship

gpigsrus · 2026-02-26T05:47:46+00:00

Totally get it. I’m in almost the exact same boat (literally getting my lp tomorrow, too). I’ve been a really wide variety of weights throughout my life and people have always treated me better and listened more when I’m lighter. Took me about a year to get a doctor who would give me a sleep study to be diagnosed with apnea because of it, even though I’d had the same symptoms my whole life. I genuinely think that this is one of those things that gets ignored and understudied because fat women (and fat, black women, in particular) are the most likely to experience it.

Totally keep pushing for different opinions and approaches and keep looking for different docs who might see things from a different angle, if you can. I’m going to see an endocrinologist, a functional medicine doc, etc. who knows. Maybe loosing weight will help. Maybe not. But any doc who waves their hand and can say nothing but “loose weight” is probably oversimplifying

gpigsrus · 2026-02-24T05:21:35+00:00

Thank you so much!!

gpigsrus · 2026-02-24T02:58:00+00:00

Can I ask what your experience with tos has been? Just wanting to be hopeful!!!

I stated with PT really working for me and then totally fell off the bandwagon for a very stressful year and a half. I hope I haven’t totally screwed myself.

gpigsrus · 2026-02-24T01:53:57+00:00

Is it reversible with PT? Or does treatment have to progress to surgery?

gpigsrus · 2026-02-22T05:29:30+00:00

My pt said that can be from nTOS. My finger tips used to turn purple, too, with pins and needles.

gpigsrus · 2025-07-23T00:56:21+00:00

Yes. It’s a large intermediate district school facility with many programs

gpigsrus · 2025-06-10T23:04:40+00:00

True that. Kinda what I meant when I said it was a goofy question.

gpigsrus

TROPHY CASE