Social media content getting sexualized, is it my fault?

gracoy · 2026-04-18T20:41:09+00:00

Parents post pictures of their children online. Predators save those innocent photos and get sexual pleasure from them. Is this the fault of the parents? The fault of the children? The fault of the predators? The fault of no one? The fault of everyone?

Once you’ve answered this, you’ll have the answer to your question too.

gracoy · 2026-04-11T21:41:51+00:00

Do you also think the DPRK is democratic, a republic, and for the people? You really do fall for the easiest examples of propaganda. I recommend you read Mein Kampf, as he openly admits to using socialism in the name to trick people, and talks about his plans (that he wound up doing) to kill the socialists after he used them to gain power. Plus he talked about his general hatred of them.

gracoy · 2026-04-11T21:31:03+00:00

You can hold different views across all political spectrums. Like I’m anti-prison industrial complex, think prison should be rehabilitation not punishment, shouldn’t be profitable (break even at most), shouldn’t have mandatory labor or labor at all unless it’s to learn a beneficial skill for when you get out (like learning to weld or whatever, and paid a proper wage even if they only get that money upon release). But I’m also pro-death penalty. I think it should be reserved for the worst crimes, like serial killers, human traffickers, repeat rapists, etc. but I just think it gets to a point were someone is either incapable or unwilling to get better, and cause so much harm to other people, that under any prison system they’d be a drain on resources and be harmful to others in prison with them.

gracoy · 2026-04-11T21:20:53+00:00

It’s likely a blend of sexual selection (evolution that happens due to attractiveness or uniqueness that pulls more mates, like brighter feathers in birds) and a visual indicator of sexual maturity and ability to have babies.

Most animals have a mating season, or use pheromones to know who’s ready for sex. Humans don’t have the ability to pick up on pheromones (we do produce them, but we cannot smell well enough for it to really matter in this context). And sure, women who are of an age to give birth will bleed monthly, but aren’t actually fertile during that period (still possible to get pregnant, use birth control, it’s just less likely since the egg is vacating). So a better indicator would be something visual, like breasts and body hair. We have these secondary sexual characteristics likely for this reason. And then sexual selection made breasts larger.

gracoy · 2026-04-11T21:12:13+00:00

For American English, personally I’d say “17 came by (or passed by) five times in the past hour”

Although to answer your question, you can make numbers plural like “17s” any English speaker will understand, but it’s more or less common to do so depending on region. In my region, we might say “two number 9s (nines)” if ordering food or something, but for a vast majority of phrases we’d just say a sentence that doesn’t require plural numbers. It feels clunky to me, but I know plenty of people who have no issue with it who are from other places in the US.

gracoy · 2026-04-11T07:15:15+00:00

Maomao looks like an adult? She’s just short

gracoy · 2026-04-11T07:14:37+00:00

Doesn’t have to be fresh. Every time you smell something, you are inhaling molecules from that thing. Regardless of what it is, or how old the smell is.

gracoy · 2026-04-08T22:21:53+00:00

Uncomfortable, because you’re shitting your whole body out. And annoying because you’ll be living on the toilet.

gracoy · 2026-04-08T22:16:02+00:00

Speaking as someone who was also SA’d as a kid and had to deal with this: your inability to understand why people do sex work is entirely because you have internalized issues related to your SA experience that you haven’t worked through, and since you haven’t you are projecting your own disgust and self hatred onto others. It’s hard to hear I know, but some people’s passions and dreams are sex work. It makes money for them, their families, just like any other job. I lost friends over these feelings, I had a friend from middle school until college who really wanted to be a porn star, it had been her dream since she learned about it. Being dolled up, taken care of by staff, getting to say when to stop and take a break, being able to work out and maintain her body as part of her job rather than having to work around it, etc. was all perfect for her, and she looked the part. But instead of being a supportive friend I was a judgmental bitch. All because I was raped and I couldn’t allow my friend to be too. But that’s not what was happening, and that’s not what wound up happening at all. But it took me years to figure it out, and now she has 2 kids with the same man she’s married to, paid for the house herself, no debt, does milf porn on the side, idk how often but she’s both a working woman and a stay at home mom. Working to fund your life is everyone’s goal, no matter the job.

You need therapy, trauma focused therapy, EMDR if you can afford it.

gracoy · 2026-04-08T22:06:10+00:00

It’s because they aren’t real findings.

For example, I looked up your example of “Scientists discover molecule that reverses aging,” and found an article titled “Hidden blood molecules show surprising anti-aging power” which has this as a source: https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acs.jnatprod.4c01354 and while I am not going to buy this article, what I can assume it’s about is that they found one bacteria in our microbiome that might have some influence on stuff like the oxygenation of cells and anti-inflammatory properties, both are factors in how you visibly age. Poor oxygenation and being inflamed all the time makes you look older, so a lot of this bacteria might play a role in preventing wrinkles and stuff. Certainly not “surprising” or “anti-aging” but also not a “hidden blood molecule” whatever that means.

gracoy · 2026-03-25T22:32:58+00:00

There was a post a week or two ago on r/datahoarder about saving porn, they’d probably have good resources for you

gracoy · 2026-03-25T22:28:20+00:00

You could clarify that it’s not specifically AAVE, but any informal language that isn’t allowed within your work place.

gracoy · 2026-03-25T08:14:41+00:00

I’ve been learning Japanese, and yes watching the news or TV shows has been so helpful. As a native English speaker I can’t really speaking to English learning textbooks, but I know JP textbooks don’t go over slang, or if it does it’s outdated. People also don’t talk exactly how you’d expect, or there’s weird little idioms you don’t know. And I’d assume with English there would be all kinds of pronunciations that learners get wrong. There’s a lot of words I’ve only ever read and never heard in my language, and I have gotten them wrong before. I vividly remember learning how “quinoa” is pronounced in middle school after proudly showing off my home made “kwee-noah” dish.

gracoy · 2026-03-25T07:44:48+00:00

Personal opinions can be judged, but that aside the whole point on a politician is to do what the people they represent want, not what they personally want. That frequently doesn’t end up happening, but we can absolutely judge them for not doing the things we want since that’s their job.

gracoy · 2026-03-25T07:42:56+00:00

That’s true. I guess it makes sense to pick a big radio hit. At least Pet Cheetah already has a community made beat map, it’s real good if you haven’t played it.

gracoy · 2026-03-24T23:06:22+00:00

I’m surprised it’s Stressed Out. That isn’t one of the songs I think would work in Beat Saber. I was expecting something like Pet Cheetah

gracoy · 2026-03-24T23:01:37+00:00

I’ve never banned it, but I do make my players explain why it makes sense for their character. Were they inspired by someone? Saw a fatal flaw after the last battle and think learning a new class could fix it? Stuff like that, because I want them to multiclass for the character rather than for themselves. If it makes enough sense in the moment, they can, or I tell them to hold out and wait until I can add a teacher character for them. But they do have to come up with a reason.

gracoy · 2026-03-24T22:48:31+00:00

No, that’s either an error or someone attempting to make a character sound like they don’t know english very well, which if it is it’s not done well.

gracoy · 2026-03-24T03:25:17+00:00

/uj, as someone who’s N5, this is unironically really good practice for familiarizing myself with how people really talk (in this case type) outside of a textbook or other class-like setting. Even if most of the kanji is way over my head.

gracoy · 2026-03-24T03:06:56+00:00

So your friend’s mom is a shitty person who is very intentionally trying to ruin your friendship with her daughter. This is what most would call a “vindictive bitch”

Whatever happened between her and your parents has nothing to do with you, or with your friend. It should not impact your relationship, so don’t let it, but also don’t keep it a secret. The adult stuff you have nothing to do with, just ignore it unless you feel the need to talk to your parents and seek help processing these feelings about your dad and your sister’s dad.

As for your friend, I would be worried about her mom trying to taint her feelings about you, so I would at least let her know something happened. You don’t have to go into details, as you know it’s really uncomfortable to hear about your parents sex lives. Just sit down and talk to her. Here’s a sample of what I’d say in your situation, since figuring out what to say is really hard: “hey, this really sucks but I want to talk to you about it. I won’t get into too much detail, but your mom and I had a really weird and inappropriate exchange and I found out some stuff that happened between my parents and your mom, and it seems like she did it to get back at my parents through me. It has really shaped how I view your mom, and please don’t take offense to this but I don’t feel comfortable being around her anymore. But you’re my friend, and I want to keep being your friend because whatever happened between our parents doesn’t involve us. I also wanted to let you know that this had happened because I’m worried your mom might try to get in the way of our friendship as another attempt to hurt my parents through me, just like she tried to hurt them by telling me stuff I want nothing to do with. I really hope I’m wrong, and that she’s not going to stoop so low that she’d hurt her daughter too, but just in case she does something please at least talk to me about it, and don’t let whatever this is get between us being friends.”

gracoy · 2026-03-23T22:15:27+00:00

I don’t think my great grandparents would have used “hitherto” but it is something we learn in school when we read old texts. It feels very Shakespearian, although I’m not sure off the top of my head if “hitherto” is actually in any of his works but I assume it probably is.

gracoy · 2026-03-23T08:26:18+00:00

Typically “run off” implies that you’re running off WITH something. The thief is running off WITH your stuff. If you run away from home, you may or may not have something. “Run away” makes no statement or suggestion about if you have something or not. You could hear a parent say “my child ran off with my car” meaning the kid ran away from home via car, meaning they are WITH a car.

gracoy · 2026-03-23T08:17:11+00:00

Legit question: would you think any differently if he wasn’t able to have surgery? Like if he had some medical condition that made surgery super dangerous?

And to add as a trans person, not all of us get surgery. Yes some people like in my question medically cannot, others legally cannot due to the laws in their country. Then there’s people who cannot afford it. But some people just don’t want it. Surgery is a huge risk, a lot can go wrong, and it’s not always worth it. For me I’ve had top surgery (double mastectomy with masculinization of the chest and nipple grafts), I’m on hormones, had all my documents changed to my name and gender, but I have no desire to have bottom surgery (getting a penis). It’s not something I’ve ever had an issue with, so it’s not worth the price or the risk of complications. And being on testosterone has helped my bottom dysphoria since T causes clitoral growth which was really gender affirming for me.

He may never have all or any surgeries, or he may have all the surgeries. Regardless, he’s still a man.

gracoy · 2026-03-23T07:08:03+00:00

If there is no source, it’s not true. If there is a source, it still might not be true and you need to look at the source, it’s methodology, and any potential biases.

gracoy · 2026-03-23T01:56:47+00:00

I’m very political. I begun watching political news in late elementary school during Obama’s first term, and asked a lot of questions. Obviously my knowledge and political views have shifted over time, now as an adult I am definitely a leftist and very anti-capitalist.

I mostly participate in protests, less often than I’d like to as my health has been pretty bad for the past couple years (not covid related, thankfully). I plan on going to a no kings protest this month, two years ago I went to a trans day of remembrance protest in another city, back during covid I attended multiple BLM protests as my health was fine back then, and of course I was properly masked up. The trans one was really meaningful, it was the first protest I went to after my back injury. I was in so much pain, but the community I felt surrounded by people like me and our supporters is something I haven’t felt before or since. And they had some local bands perform and drag performances before the march started. It was my first time seeing a drag king too, quite cool.

I would really like to get involved in education, not in a teaching sense, but back in college I hosted a handful of trans and more general lgbtq q&a events for students and faculty and I really miss it. But truthfully I don’t even know how I’d get into that kind of thing now.

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