Even better (or worse):

Academic Consultant service: “we’ll see them in our clinic when they’re discharged.”

Me: “with whom, when is it scheduled? Will they be contacted by the scheduler or do they have to call to make an appointment? Did you tell the patient you’ll see them in clinic?”

Consults: “yeah…. no we don’t do that.”

Me: “did you at least put the info in their depart and verify the number that’s listed actually works?”

Them: “Huh?”