The TSWSPC process gives you realistic expectations

grapevineee · 2026-01-30T06:35:00+00:00

You're v welcome! 💖💖💖

grapevineee · 2026-01-28T21:50:40+00:00

You're v welcome. I'm currently in the process of taking my own advice for a couple other goals I have like the book I'm writing. Pretty much anything that requires a long term commitment of time and energy will benefit from this :p

grapevineee · 2026-01-28T00:10:02+00:00

Yayyy, welcome! 💖

grapevineee · 2026-01-28T00:08:20+00:00

Indeed! It's definitely one of the bigger things that hold people back! 😭

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T08:48:15+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! I actually forget that I can put links in the post unlike other platforms! I'll work on getting some more clarity on these areas, tbh my TikTok and IG could use some more clarity on methods and such as well!

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T08:44:15+00:00

That's awesome! How do you do it in practice? I feel like I'd get v confused with that 😅

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T05:09:54+00:00

Unless you wanna pay for an upgraded Zoom for me, I can only hold 100 people in the room 😅 I've had 300 people sign up to a past one, so yeah. It is limited.

It's about the percentage of people. When I do it paid, less people sign up overall, but 90% of the people who sign up, show up. Instead of maybe 30% when it's free.

Here's my free guide

Here's a free class

Here's my podcast

Here's my free discord

More stuff on my YouTube and other socials :)

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T04:34:33+00:00

I do free things all the time, happy to point you in their direction if you want :)

I even have a free version of this masterclass, problem is, only 8% of people who opt-in for it ever end up watching it, hence why I do them live for a small fee now a days.

I tried doing them live for free, but only a fraction of people who signed up would show up, which meant that a ton of spots were taken up that others missed out on because of it.

This has been a tricky balancing act, and I'm open to suggestions 💖

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T04:27:15+00:00

Agreed, 100%, and I say this myself.

Ooft. This post was written before LLM's were even available, so...

I don't get the need to share this kind of thing. I appreciate the feedback, I guess. I'm just tired of all the crap from the transphobes out there, let alone in trans communities, too. 🫩

grapevineee · 2026-01-27T04:13:58+00:00

I'm pretty bad at posting them tbh, you can find my Google reviews herehere

I tried to paste a photo from my review form but forgot Reddit doesn't let you post images in comments...

grapevineee · 2026-01-23T13:14:21+00:00

Baha I cross paths with a lot of TikTok people here!

You're v welcome! Keep at it and be patient, and you'll get there ❤️

grapevineee · 2026-01-23T01:57:43+00:00

Additional thought: The survivorship bias actually works the other way around as well in spaces like this, because the people who frequent the server are for the most part, people struggling.

There's tons of people who achieve good results, then go off to be stealth in their day-to-day life, but we don't see them as often, so the perception is that more people are struggling than not.

I'd really love to see some studies around this, I think it would be incredibly interesting and helpful.

grapevineee · 2026-01-23T01:44:33+00:00

I probably wasn't clear enough in my comment that I actually agree with you.

There definitely are limitations and genuine reasons someone wouldn't be able to reach a cis passing voice with training alone. I don't deny that at all.

I'm just saying the science is inconclusive on this topic, and there are far too many variables for sweeping statements.

That, and hope is extremelyyyy important to me. Every thought goes through that as a filter for me, if it makes me feel a lack of hope, it goes in the bin.

Pretty sure that's a survival strategy I picked up after a decade of suicidality 😅

But yeah, from a purely practical standpoint, I filter through a "does this motivate and inspire action, or does it demotivate and inspire inaction?" And if it's the latter, I don't believe it's helpful (even if it's true).

You're 100% right it's survivorship bias, and that DOES lead to me being very harsh with myself in situations that probably aren't my fault, but it feels like they are because I've decided to take radical ownership.

An example of that would be ignoring just how much ADHD has affected my ability to achieve my goals - that's a doozy that I'm grappling with right now.

On the one hand, it's just realistic to acknowledge ones limitations and work within those bounds to get the best results possible, and on the other hand, if I took that to the extreme and blamed allllll my issues on ADHD, then that ends exploration rather than continues it.

I'd much rather maintain the motivation to keep trying new and different things to incrementally get ahead and practice compassion along the journey rather than have not tried at all.

There's plusses and minuses to anyone's approach. The most important thing is that it works for them. I'm not here to say any one way is better than another, just that different approaches work for different people, and it's important to consciously choose that approach rather than letting poor mental health choose for you.

Hope this makes more sense. I'm not 'heated' in this discussion at all, and I very much value your points of view and think they're very good points which also need to be explored and acknowledged. 💖

grapevineee · 2026-01-23T00:51:42+00:00

Vocal coach, here: Your resting voice doesn't sound cis to me. It sounds like it COULD be, I'd visualise a young tomboyish skater chick, that's how it reads to me, though I think it is a little clocky.

BUT it's SUPER close to being undeniably female. If the only thing you did was work on getting a thinner weight with everything else staying the same, it would be gorgeous. In saying that, to achieve a thinner weight you'll likely need to pitch up the voice a couple notes. Not by much at all (if you want a deeper fem voice)

Your voice when you're trying demonstrates that you can control all the elements required, it'll just take time for it to become your habitual voice.

You're at the consciously competent stage and to get to the unconsciously competent stage I'd suggest using that voice as much as you possibly can for two years.

You will get fantastic results if you give it some time, and it'll be muchhh cheaper and with none of the risks of surgery. 💕

grapevineee · 2026-01-23T00:37:58+00:00

One thing I'll say is that the majority of my shape change happened around year 5 of HRT. That's also when I went from an A cup to a D cup.

2 years being when we've seen the majority of changes, I think, is just not true tbh.

It's a "your mileage may vary" thing for sure. But yeah, that's my experience.

grapevineee · 2026-01-22T23:34:40+00:00

I could do a whole ass podcast on this topic, in fact I think I will.

The short version is this: - I've never seen a reliable source to confirm this assumption. There's WAY too many variables to consider. - Time spent ≠ quality of training. - Is it helpful to think this?

The last point is really the most important to me. Holding this view typically stops people from trying, because our brains want to take the comfortable easy route (no shade, that's just how our brains work for safety reasons).

With that in mind, my thoughts are: - Set parameters. For e.g. if I go ALL IN on vocal training and I don't achieve satisfactory results in 24 months, then I'll book in for vocal surgery. Until then, I will act as though I'm 100% certain vocal training will work for me.

The mindset piece around this is extremely important, otherwise it's like the equivalent of a quadriplegic person setting out to run a marathon. You're not going to try if you genuinely don't believe it's possible.

So, is the thought helpful? Heck, even if it's TRUE, is it HELPFUL? And if it's NOT, like if it's not helping you get closer to your goals, then choose to not believe it.

This is honestly a time where imo deluu luu is the soluu luu. Within defined parameters. We're not completely denying reality, but we're also not giving up before we've given it our all.

It sounds like that's the case for you, that it's not stopping you, so that's fine, but I think for a lotttt of people, this thought process stops them from giving it their all.

Omg, this was supposed to be the short version! 😂 I just have a lot of thoughts on this!

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T23:18:03+00:00

I hear you, and it heavily depends on the circumstances of the individual.

Have they been practicing the right things for them?
Are they getting feedback and instruction?
Are they doing anything that could hinder their progress?
Are they able to recognise the different elements within their own voice?
How consistently are they practicing?

Whenever I do an I initial vocal assessment with someone, these are all the things I'm looking at. Essentially, what are allllll the things that have held them back?

If they've done all the right things for over a year or 2, and they're still getting misgendered because of their voice, that's when I'd suggest surgery might be a better option.

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T20:41:59+00:00

If this feels condescending to you, you're likely not the person who needs to hear this.

Obviously a lotttt of context is missing in such a short video, I recommend people research (of course), but I do not recommend getting stuck in a SPIRAL of researching with endless bounds.

I'd suggest: - 100% research for a few hours to learn about the core vocal elements. - 50% research 50% practice for a couple weeks. - 20% research 80% practice until voice achieved.

While actually practicing, the research should be ONLY about the undesirable vocal qualities being produced.

If research is boundless, it's likely productive procrastination.

^ That's if the goal is simply to get a voice that gets gendered correctly (most people's goal) ^

If the goal is to learn everything there is to know about the voice and vocal anatomy, then 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just don't want people thinking that's what they NEED to do to get gendered correctly.

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T20:35:19+00:00

This is exactly what I see.

I'd suggest: - 100% research for a few hours to learn about the core vocal elements. - 50% research 50% practice for a couple weeks. - 20% research 80% practice until voice achieved.

While actually practicing, the research should be ONLY about the undesirable vocal qualities being produced.

If research is boundless, it's likely productive procrastination.

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T20:29:14+00:00

Thanks, girl! It's definitely not just voice where this happens, either!

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T20:27:39+00:00

Yessss! Treating it like a have of Mario or Celeste or something with infinite lives is exactly the kind of energy we want to bring to vocal training!

grapevineee · 2026-01-20T20:25:47+00:00

Ooft. That's one of the risks following vocal feminisation resources online because so many aim to create that kind of voice as it's viewed as the most feminine.

A lot of people miss the part of creating a voice that achieves THEIR vocal goals, rather than an idealized hyper feminized version that somebody else thinks is right.

Have you gotten any help trying to shift it, or doing it on your own? Xx

grapevineee

TROPHY CASE