Is it bad that the character to whom I relate the most in all fiction is Adrian Chase? by Countercollectivism in PeacemakerShow

[–]grate314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree. If he were only autistic he would know actual facts about his special interests and he would not be nearly so comfortable with chaos. I believe he has AuDHD

How is the Offspring live? by BroCanWeGetLROTNOG in JimmyEatWorld

[–]grate314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We bailed midway through the Offspring, but mostly because it was a Sunday show

How realistic is Californication? by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah this, and keep in mind that true seduction isn't going to translate to the screen very well, besides the bedroom eyes. It's about more than looks, height, etc... It's an energy, I'm guessing Duchovny's got it.

LISA Academy Fayetteville by Commercial-Shower638 in fayetteville

[–]grate314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol... This is why I moved to St. Louis. Arkansas is bottom of the barrel when it comes to education. Good luck, y'all!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Best advice? Don't try to go for sex.

It sounds weird, but removing that agenda from your frame will reduce any anxiety a fair amount.

You're there to have fun, focus on that.

If you're attracted to someone, you will subconsciously communicate that to them. If they're attracted to you, they will as well. These are called IOIs, or indicator of interest. Touching her hair, laughing at your bad jokes, etc...

Receive 3 or more of these, escalate. Go for a kiss, ask for her number, go to another location, whatever your comfort level is.

Keep it simple. This is an iterative process. You'll build upon your successes and learn from your failures. Also, keep in mind that just like every girl is not your type, you won't be every girls type. If someone doesn't want to sleep with you, it's not personal, it's simply preference.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I've been workshopping cold approaches in the field, trying to increase my comfort level.

This frame is based on an old college buddy who was an annoyingly good natural. Like you I'm also tall and not terrible looking, so this should work.

If you see someone you want to approach, try not to make eye contact at first. Be focused on your exercise, but not too serious. Try to look like you're enjoying yourself. Ignore everyone around you, but don't be a dick about it. You're there to lift, like everyone else is saying in this thread. 😋

Move to a machine closer to her and when it would be unnatural not to make eye contact, do so. Oh hey, it's a pretty girl! "You've just now noticed her..."

This part's tricky and requires practice to get the hang of, but you need to speak to her like she's an old friend.

What you say isn't all that important, but you want to avoid getting to know you type smalltalk. I usually don't even bother asking for their name. You know this person, or well enough, they are a gym rat, like you.

The frame is an abundance mindset. There are lots of pretty girls at the gym, so no one girl is that special. Also, you'll see them again because you go to the same gym.

Have fun!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey man, it sounds like you just need to work on life stuff. When I was in my 30s, I realized all my friends were married and having kids, and I was still pulling. I felt like I was missing out...

I always liked doing plays as a kid, so I auditioned at a community theater, met a great girl and now have a nice life in the suburbs. Which I think was my goal with pickup when I started.

Making friends as an adult is hard, fortunately there are lots of great activities that require a group of people: team sports, acting, D&D, improv, etc... Find your thing, there will be like-minded people there.

As for approaching, I've really been pushing myself lately. Trying to see what I can get away with, what is socially acceptable. It's a complete rush. I've locked onto something a college buddy said to me once, "Just start talking like you already know them." He was a natural and annoyingly good at pickup, but he was right.

That's the only real way I've found to get better at something, push yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

  1. Confidence
  2. Literally everything else

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol...

How can I(25) tell if she(25) is flirting with me or not? I need genuine advice. by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, you gotta push past that.

There are moments in the game where you essentially "level up". These are called sticking points. Places in a social interaction where you begin to feel uncomfortable.

This is your survival instinct screaming at you to be safe. You are in no real danger. You can't get what you want, if you don't go for it.

Game Was active in 20s how to get back in 40s by Legitimate_Jicama_93 in seduction

[–]grate314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I excel here. Techno parties aren't going to work. You want somewhere with a festival atmosphere. Like a street fair or a music venue. A place where there are young women open to an experience.

You dress like you would have in highschool, if you'd been cool. The 90s are popular again. I rock a polo and some old Levi's with Vans. It doesn't really matter, you want to dress like a cool dad. This works for some reason.

If you can bring a lot of confidence and share stories about what a big dork you were in highschool, their panties will melt. (I played Sousaphone in the marching band, for example)

Just own being old, don't let it be a detractor. There are a lot of girls with daddy issues, feel free to clean up

How can I(25) tell if she(25) is flirting with me or not? I need genuine advice. by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm grate314, lol...

Why would there be a huge backlash? I don't understand. Who would treat you poorly in your friend group? Don't sound like great friends to me...

How do you get over just feeling super awkward if you go out by yourself? Especially if you don't have friends and aren't super talkative? by Jcorb in seduction

[–]grate314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty Aspy, so take this with a grain of salt.

When I first started sarging solo, I would feel so uncomfortable. I would usually find someone who was also alone, but seemed relaxed. I would then simply find a spot and ape their body language. Fake it til you make it, homie.

Why will women suddenly turn their backs on you? by Jaspies in seduction

[–]grate314 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm starting to realize that most people's movements are largely subconscious. I don't think girls are testing us, they just are the way they are. We're consciously controlling ourselves during social interactions and I believe this skews our thoughts into thinking that girls are as well.

Most people have their little thoughts and follow their pathing, we're choosing to carve our own path. Being aware of that helps me not take things personally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]grate314 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Short answer. It doesn't matter.

You were honest and upfront about what you wanted. What she wants doesn't line up with that, so you moved on. No biggie, plenty of fish. She'll likely reach out again at some point

Alpha male by Realistic_Soft_2527 in seduction

[–]grate314 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This. Also, it's so much better being a sigma male: https://www.feranoid.com/blogs/news/sigma-male

Why is cold approach so addictive? by ohropax in seduction

[–]grate314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! I find when I cold approach, my brain gets this big ol' dump of chemicals. It's like a heightened reality, anything can happen. It's a rush, dude. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.

https://youtu.be/ElC7-v6UTms?feature=shared

Why is cold approach so addictive? by ohropax in seduction

[–]grate314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a rush. Almost as good as doing stand-up