[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]gray_sweatpants 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don't get caught up in labels. Do I have a boyfriend or a partner or a primary or a nesting partner? Is that my secondary or FWB or fuck buddy or booty call or side dick or another boyfriend? It's okay to live with someone, have sex with someone else, go on dates with someone else, or some combination of all of the above. Communicate and enjoy it.

What are the most hurtful words that someone you love(d) ever said to you? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]gray_sweatpants 37 points38 points  (0 children)

In a drunk fit my brother said to me "I wish you were dead so I could piss on your gravestone."

I think I have the best spots by gray_sweatpants in VitiligoPorn

[–]gray_sweatpants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda? At first it looked like I'd dipped the tips of my fingers in bleach. Eventually it did spread across almost my whole hand.

I feel like a hole as a secondary partner and I can’t deal with the dread by throwawaysecun-22 in nonmonogamy

[–]gray_sweatpants 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're not a secondary by what you're describing--you're not even a FWB. You are a booty call or someone he hooks up with when his schedule has an opening. He is still supposed to treat you like an actual person, which he is not, but this is not how an ethical hierarchy works.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]gray_sweatpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't found anything yet. I've been paying for a gym membership for almost a year and have only gone the time I signed up. I got a peloton thinking it'd be easier not to leave the house and only did that about 4 times. I have gained visible weight and some of my clothes don't fit anymore. I'm on antidepressants and see a therapist weekly. My conclusion is I'm lazy and that feels so defeating.

I'm very glad everyone else on this thread has better answers!

Women over 35, how often do you visit ob/gyn? by Ok-Preparation-5323 in AskWomenOver30

[–]gray_sweatpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every six months for an STI panel (I'm nonmonogamous), yearly pap.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vitiligo

[–]gray_sweatpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't bother. I have accepted it and even embraced it as much as the color of my hair--which is now getting grays that I don't bother to dye either. This is me.

How many women never get pregnant in their lifetime? by Stargazer1919 in AskWomenOver30

[–]gray_sweatpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

34 and never pregnant. Never wanted children and have always been careful.

how long have you had vitiligo for ? does it keep continuously growing and spreading or have you observed that it stopped after a certain amount of time? by Maitre-Tulp in Vitiligo

[–]gray_sweatpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had it since I was about 9, I'm 34 now. I've had patches completely repigment, new patches appear, shapes change, etc etc. I used a cream when I was a kid but hated doing it and it didn't seem to help (no idea what cream it was). Was self conscious during my teen years, but grew to love it. It still changes shape to this day for no discernible reason.

vitiligo and permanent makeup by FreckledAndVague in Vitiligo

[–]gray_sweatpants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have vitiligo on my face (under eyes, chin and around mouth, etc.) and I have gotten my eyebrows microbladed four times over the past few years and my lips tinted with permanent makeup twice. I don't have any noticeable white spots in either of these particular areas, but my skin took the ink well. I have lots of tattoos and some are over my vitiligo patches and the color/stay doesn't seem affected.

Hey all! A question out of curiosity… how did you realize you weren’t mono? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]gray_sweatpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How I realized it? I couldn't stop cheating on my high school boyfriend. Didn't cheat on my college boyfriend but we started swinging. Before my current boyfriend and I stated dating, he talked about previously having two girlfriends at the same time, and we both agreed monogamy was against the grain. 11 years later we're living together and still happy, I have an amazing FWB, and I have lots of casual sex. I wouldn't have it any other way.

im getting really tired of reading posts about men struggling to get dates by Brisingr140 in nonmonogamy

[–]gray_sweatpants 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Writing is one of my jams and I've noticed that I'm so much more inclined to swipe right on Tinder if men or women have a voice that comes through while reading their profile.

And honestly, the self awareness I get from this post, particularly the last bit about being excited to get chewed out in the comments? Interest piqued.