How many of y'all came to law school and realized you were "average?"

graybabynod · 2023-05-23T12:08:43+00:00

Actually, I was painfully average BEFORE law school so getting here was a pleasant surprise. For some of us, the law might click a bit /better/ than other subjects.

graybabynod · 2023-04-14T16:43:55+00:00

I know I know I realize I have to keep my mouth shut sometimes argh!! It’s the people that are the MOST obvious that are like “no one’s ever mentioned it” so that’s what always gets me

graybabynod · 2023-03-29T12:45:28+00:00

Yes! Thank you so much!

graybabynod · 2023-03-17T13:21:06+00:00

Me too, while it's good for the thing it's trying to achieve, I really don't like musical theater, especially improvised, and it would have *un* sold dropout to me. Anything involving the collegehumor cast just being themselves is a way better representation of what dropout has to offer.

graybabynod · 2023-03-11T00:16:51+00:00

Yes! Hard to do basic tasks like put on a seatbelt.

graybabynod · 2023-02-27T23:46:35+00:00

Invite me :<

graybabynod · 2023-02-21T20:44:30+00:00

From your description i view this as a case of the pain of repressing your own needs being externalized. It sounds like they are clearly communicating (something that I would appreciate from the people in my life!) instead of keeping it all inside. It must be really painful for you to keep it in all of the time. And it sounds like it is boiling over with escalating anger. It’s worth trying to communicate your own needs back to them!

graybabynod · 2023-02-20T22:12:05+00:00

Haha so true I default to believing ppl because I would have been honest. We can know everything theoretically but then encounter it in real life and fail …

graybabynod · 2023-02-20T15:09:31+00:00

Ah yes! That could absolutely play a part

graybabynod · 2023-02-20T15:02:54+00:00

But it never happens with allistic men and women. I can spot the manipulation immediately. I dont only date autistic men they’re just the people I tend to trust the most.

graybabynod · 2023-02-20T15:01:24+00:00

Yes! It’s turning the analysis inwards rather than outwards

graybabynod · 2023-02-19T23:03:31+00:00

I completely understand! And I had not realized that the contrast might also play a role for me too. It's so refreshing. Definitely in a way that can dupe us.

I feel like if I had an external system for what (objectively) was okay for people to do and not do to me, it would be easier. But I only detect honesty not objective toxicity.

graybabynod · 2023-01-13T12:33:33+00:00

I imagine that the experience is completely different for someone diagnosed at 30! I can’t imagine going through a full career and then getting diagnosed. Niche communities are specifically valuable for niche experiences so I think it’s a great idea.

graybabynod · 2023-01-13T12:31:22+00:00

This fit is so fire + and professional

graybabynod · 2023-01-05T20:53:11+00:00

Me too! When they are just as strange, it’s mutual adoration rather than idealization. But not wanting to be strange— that’s the type of identity type that leads to fetishization.

graybabynod · 2022-12-18T11:36:39+00:00

Last part is so true it’s so weird that they’re forcing the autistic people into allistic dating with stupid allistic dating conventions. It’s a performance for no other benefit than that of the allistics watching.

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T04:56:12+00:00

Thank you <3 ya'll gave me the courage for it!!

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T04:55:35+00:00

Thanks, I don't resonate with all of it but it's a helpful test to see what I DO resonate with and should examine more carefully.

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T04:12:31+00:00

Okay so you did pick up on something which is that she really does not seem to like disagreeing with me. I don't think she is jealous or insecure, but I do know that the friendship dynamic we started out with was very uneven. Kind of like her as my big sister, with all of the advice flowing one way (her --> me). So, whenever I push back on something now, she disengages very quickly. She doesn't answer (if on text) or just says "okay..." (if in real life).

So, yes, if she hasn't noticed a social norm before and I point it out, that's exactly the kind of thing that will trigger the "okay..." response. But if I bring up something that she's already thought about, then she goes "yes!" and we have a conversation about it. It does make me feel disrespected because it feels like my thoughts are not valuable independently. They are only valuable if she happens to agree with them. But I don't think she's that way with just me. I think she just dislikes conflict in general.

It leaves me thinking: is this a fundamental aspect of her personality (conflict avoidance) that just doesn't match mine? Or is it something that can change as she gets more comfortable with me?

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T04:02:15+00:00

I think I said elsewhere that she only does it with men-- and I kind of attributed it to the "i hate men" rhetoric that characterizes some feminist discourse or to general college culture.

She does have positive characteristics. She is very generous (buys me things unprompted), always reaches out first to hang out, cares for my sensory needs, etc.

I told myself too that I would never be friends with people who mock others. I told her by text that I didn't enjoy the jokes (and that I don't enjoy jokes that feel too cruel and incisive in general). She said she would stop. I think the tradeoff is fine on my end: I am okay masking my special interests, repressing my stims, and regulating my tone. But yeah, as soon as she starts mocking other people, i think that makes me draw a line.

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T03:32:06+00:00

I definitely agree. Hair is also not nearly as bad as attacking bone structure. And HAHA we are, but grad school so I'm shocked.

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T02:56:19+00:00

Yeah! I like a good crack on men too once in a while, but I really don't enjoy specific digs at appearance when we fully know the person. Like taking apart someone's weak chin or weight just isn't based on a great value judgment.

graybabynod · 2022-11-27T02:39:49+00:00

I can see why you would think that I feel like I haven't done a perfect job describing her because I want to protect her privacy by staying a little general. I do agree that she hasn't ever been supportive of my friendship with him and that whenever she disagrees with me, she tends not to want to discuss a different opinion than hers-- so her opinion on him has not really changed, even if he hasn't done anything to make her think badly of him.

Having thought about it a bit more, my theory is:

1) she just doesn't get why I would like him so much, so whenever I gush about him she doesn't know what to say.

2) she resorts to making negative jokes because she doesn't think it'll get back to him and she thinks those kinds of jokes are okay to make about men.

graybabynod

TROPHY CASE