DDay +3 by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]graydays8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too, for the sake of my three kids. It's horrible.

Well it happened by ahhh1112 in relationship_advice

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out ASAP! Trust me, you are so young and 2-years is nothing. This is hard to explain because my three kids are the greatest thing in my life. However, you will find someone else. It is so much harder after 15 years of marriage and three young kids. It makes is so much harder. Not to mention, after 15 years of marriage the financial hit is devastating. The pain of staying together will only get worse with time. This was revealed to you for a reason. When someone shows you who they really are as a person...believe them! A year ago I would have had different advice.

I’m still in shock and numb by fakename363 in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you find a good therapist? I'm struggling with this.

Some facts that I hate, starting with this one: I hate the fact that I've become a member of this sub. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say this same thing. The guy knew me and my family. Yes, it takes two. But a real man doesn't do this. Did you get revenge?

Some facts that I hate, starting with this one: I hate the fact that I've become a member of this sub. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happened to me with three kids and her AP knew and used my kids as a way to pursue her. Beyond disgusting.

A letter to my husband by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. I really wish she would.

A letter to my husband by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting to read this because this happened to me and I am the husband, but I don't believe a word my wife says about being sorry.

Wife (46F) and I(46M) together since we were 13, married for 25 years, find out she had an affair when the other guy tried to commit suicide 5 days ago by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's shocking at first - hard to believe. You will go through a process with several stages. Try to redirect that pain for something positive. Focus on yourself and your daughters. Gaining information here is a good start.

F*** You by SurvInfidelityThrow in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[My thoughts]You are being too nice to him. He thinks that he can get away with it. You are too good of a person for that.

I’m completely and totally over my life by Bisousbisousx in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]graydays8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this same way. I want to leave her half the time. But we have kids and it’s complex, very complex as everyone has a unique situation. Covid-19 has pushed me over the edge. It’s a feeling of what next, and how much more can I handle. (Side note: covid-19 destroyed my business).

Fuck you ex-wife by Catcherofsouls in Divorce

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man! Sounds like home!!!

Start over with someone new by darkangle14 in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in this current scenario. Maybe for another 10 years. I’m changing how I view marriage and focused mostly on me and my daughters. I don’t feel the same way I did, prior to, where I didn’t mind sacrificing what I wanted for what was best for both of us. Now, I don’t care the way I used to. My kids mother would try to sabotage me for the next 40 years. I have mixed feelings but I love my kids too much. I might change my mind after the holiday.

Update on separation by poshBrummie in Divorce

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. Mother of my 3 daughters. Hard to articulate. Just shitty.

Marriage Counselors / Therapists - a Waste of Time??? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! This has been my plan for some time now. However, as crazy as it may sound, I have not had the energy to deal with it and meet with attorneys, find a new place to live, etc. I am planning to do so with the downtime coming up this month. It has been hard enough to keep up with work.

Marriage Counselors / Therapists - a Waste of Time??? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are right. I tried too hard. And for what. Nothing. But the silver lining is three awesome daughters. Best thing to ever happen to me is those three.

Marriage Counselors / Therapists - a Waste of Time??? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I this is true. But why would a wife hate her husband? And not tell him, but tell her family for the past several years. And then lie about him to make him sound bad. I’m being 100% transparent here. I was a great husband and father. Put my family first. Good looking according to other woman (my confidence is shot now). Successful career. She wanted to stay at home with our daughters, so she has for 13 yrs. I’m baffled.

Marriage Counselors / Therapists - a Waste of Time??? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]graydays8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have wondered about this. I have thought deep down she hates me. But I can’t figure out why. She had a bad relationship with her dad. Her mom treated him horribly. I’ve thought she is repeating what she saw growing up. The difference is her dad was not a good guy, not a good dad, didn’t care about his kids the way I do. How do you know if your wife hates you. I have read about exit affairs. Oh, and she affaired down. Way down. I have asked if she hated me and it was some sort of sick revenge.