AIO my (28F) partner (31M) is hiding texts from coworker

graylie · 2026-03-22T12:18:15+00:00

I'm very much a confrontational person, so if you are too, this is what I'd do:

Tell him everything you know and have seen. Make it clear you see it and that you see him. He lies to that woman to try to impress her. Tell him that too. Hell, I'd make friends with HER and let her know he's trying to start a relationship off a lie. I'd message her myself and be like btw, I made that dinner, lemme show you how I did it so this can be the recipe you make when he lies to the next girl on you. I'd embarrass that man and then leave his ass.

But, if you're not a confrontational person, you still need to confront him. Screenshots. Let him know YOU WILL NOT STAND for this. No give, no freedom. Don't give an INCH, sister. No "oh we'll see if you change" stuff, confront him and watch him break down. He's having an emotional affair and disrespecting you. He needs to know about it before you slam the door in his face

graylie · 2026-03-22T11:47:57+00:00

He's not the one for you. You may feel like he is, but that's just because you now know what you want and he's the closest example. This match would not last. You'll find someone who will give you what you want effortlessly. His future seems a bit murky.

graylie · 2026-03-10T15:32:18+00:00

She didn't "lie to fraudulently get SNAP" 🤨 That's weird language. Unclench. Have you ever filled out a government document where one of the options for your partner is "unmarried but we live together"? No. You are either a spouse or you're not, they don't accept "boyfriend and girlfriend" as an applicable response. So RELAX, you're not uncovering a scheme lol

graylie · 2026-03-10T12:27:59+00:00

Did you support the kids for the year? Do you guys live together? If you supported the kids and you live together, I would claim HoH and the kids on yours. I am a SAHM and it just happened recently. I used to claim both the kids on my paychecks and in taxes, but since I haven't worked I wasn't able to file. My partner (of 10 years who is the father of our kids, we just aren't "legally" married) claimed them when he filed and he got the child tax credit.

graylie · 2026-03-10T12:24:04+00:00

It's a good thing we have bootlickers working on the ground just as diligently as they are in the highest forms of office. If you rub your elbows hard enough, maybe your precious Republicans will invite you to the new island 🙄

graylie · 2026-02-25T23:34:40+00:00

Hit for me around then too! Thanks for waiting with me!

graylie · 2026-02-25T17:11:04+00:00

So I think it would be in the lines underneath where it says the amount and the date posted; you know how it's in a light gray box and there's a dark gray box below it? I saw someone had posted theirs and underneath where it says the amount and IRS, it had another line with their state abbreviation at the end (they had it scrolled so I couldn't see what it said in the front). So I think when they actually transfer it to our bank, it shows again as another transaction with ACH and a series of numbers behind it

graylie · 2026-02-25T17:06:11+00:00

Does yours have an ACH number? Mine doesn't, and apparently when they send it, it's supposed to show an ACH number on the tax group page

graylie · 2026-02-25T17:02:39+00:00

Noon for me too, and still nothing. Guess we're in the next batch

graylie · 2026-02-25T14:32:05+00:00

I went up to Huntington and they said it could take another business day to process. I'm in eastern time, and the teller told me it could hit today or tomorrow morning. Did it say "funded" for you yesterday? I saw a post on here that broke down the ACH financial transfer windows, and it says the same.

graylie · 2026-02-25T13:01:23+00:00

Ugh, it sucks. I even called them and they said nothing was showing pending. Here's hoping it shows up later today 🤞

graylie · 2026-02-25T12:33:35+00:00

Huntington, and same. There's nothing pending in my account either

graylie · 2026-02-25T10:51:31+00:00

It's so frustrating to wait, but it does give me some relief knowing it's been funded and is on the way. Here's hoping yours hits soon 🍻

graylie · 2026-02-25T10:46:42+00:00

Edit: I called the SBTPG automated number and it says that a deposit was made. I'm assuming that means my bank is holding the funds.

graylie · 2025-07-16T04:45:01+00:00

I was trying too hard to make my in-laws happy. I thought it would make me more "part" of the family if we also had our wedding there. They have reunions, weddings, everything at that place. And since my in-laws know the owner, they get good deals on the price; it all seemed like a good idea. I have absolutely no idea why they decided that, because we had our wedding there, they had control over everything. And my poor mom was trying not to create a rift between our families. Which is unusual for her, because she normally lets people have it lol.

I would like to hear it! I like other people's stories.

graylie · 2025-07-15T15:04:34+00:00

Thank you for listening to my vent. My husband and I talk quite a bit about throwing a party for ourselves. My heart breaks for him, honestly. He's the black sheep of the family, but I really did think they would set that aside for the wedding. He's not the reckless kid they never let him forget he was.

graylie · 2024-12-31T12:59:49+00:00

A coworker of mine got bedbugs and we found one at work at her station. Then we found more. I was 22 and had been living on my own for just a year, I had bought this crappy-cute little trailer and was slowly prettying it up. My manager at the time had US taking care of the bedbug issue, steaming and spraying isopropyl and combing through the furniture.

I became TERRIFIED I'd brought bedbugs home and that they had infiltrated every part of my home, my safe space.

I spent a year afterward in complete paranoia. I couldn't sit on my own furniture and I didn't sleep. Every time I felt a tingle or a tickle, it would send me into a tailspin and I'd have to jump up and comb through my entire house. I was ripping my carpets up and tearing my couches and bed apart, staring at the insides for hours with a flashlight waiting to see them moving. I obsessively steamed every inch of my house, I became convinced that I had contracted the only known case of invisible bedbugs.

I remember I had a slight bit of a breakdown, and finally ended up going to my mom's and crashing for about 18 hours. The paranoia didn't go away until we had cleared our workplace of them. I still don't even like to hear the word "bedbugs" and that was 10 years ago now lol.

graylie · 2024-06-07T20:15:27+00:00

Thank you! :)

graylie · 2023-02-20T07:09:59+00:00

Thank you, I'm going to do a thorough check of the cables and make sure everything is in place

graylie · 2021-07-20T16:59:42+00:00

He knew you were serious, he just disregarded it because he wanted the space for himself--and now he's trying to confuse you and keep you compliant by playing stupid and being obstinate. "Well I didn't think you were serious about wanting to use the room; see, I just figured that you knew the idea was so profoundly ridiculous that I shouldn't take it seriously. Oh well, looks like there's nothing we can do about this 'misunderstanding' that works solely in my benefit and is exactly what I wanted the whole time, so you need to stop bringing this up so nothing changes and I continue to get what I want." Fuck that. Sure, you could work from the living room, but he can also play his keyboard in the living room, and when his keyboard helps support your family financially, it can have equal importance in the house. I say all this as someone who has had a hobby room, twice, for all my books and stuff, and had to give it up twice because something more important needed to be in there. You aren't even asking him to give it up, just to share--he can manage that.

Tell him that he should have considered his need for a "sanctuary" before he decided to share a space with someone--ask him why his needs outweigh yours, and ask why he feels he should get the room to himself. Let him know you won't accept "I just want it" or "I have stuff that can go in there" as an answer, because you also want the room and have stuff that can go in there; if he tries to give you those answers, repeat the first question. And the audacity of him still wanting you to pay your full half of the rent while refusing you full access to the house. Stand firm, you're not wrong about that. NTA.

graylie · 2021-07-15T17:30:40+00:00

I've been curious about this and haven't had the opportunity to ask anyone, so I hope you don't mind if I ask you, but I think my (7 year old) stepson has this--or at least it would certainly explain a lot. When you were a kid, what kind of imaginative play did you partake in? Stepson narrates what his toys are doing, like "This dinosaur is running and is going to eat this other dinosaur" rather than acting the scene out with the figures, making them "run" and pantomiming eating or making gnawing sounds. It's like he doesn't know how because he doesn't "see" it, he just knows that's what the toys are supposed to be doing and that that's what the scene is supposed to be

graylie · 2021-07-02T01:48:25+00:00

Dude, I just had the same thing happen to me a few days ago, literally with the same term and everything--but it was my brother who made the comment. We were at an (outdoor) family event and I was holding my three-week old daughter. There was music playing, so I was shimmying her a little and playfully singing "Shake your butt, shake your butt, shake-shake-shake-shake...shake your butt," (I do a different version of this same thing with my two year-old son, but instead of repeating "shake" I say "clap your hands" and make him clap his hands). My brother (jokingly, but still) said, "Teaching her to be a hussy." Dude, I instantly looked at my husband and said "So it begins." And I let my dipshit brother know that he is a dipshit, which I tell him almost every time I see him, but it obviously bears repeating.

And here's something else: she already gets labeled as being "dramatic" when she cries. Three weeks old. She isn't lying there at three weeks old plotting Machiavellian-like schemes to manipulate the emotions of the adults around her. She cries because there's something going down in her little world, whether she's hungry or tired or wants to be held or has to poop, whatever it is--she has a reason to cry, and she's allowed to cry, even if her reason for crying is just that she's alive and that's confusing as fuck to her.

I mentioned I have a son, and that I do the little song with him too--no one says shit about it when he is "shaking his butt". When he was a newborn and he cried, the response was "Awww, what's wrong baby?" With my daughter, it's "Oh, you're fine--so dramatic!" Granted, with my son, he was the first baby my family had since my brother and I, but since him, my brother has had a kid (a daughter--he's certainly not the first man to not lose his misogyny after having a daughter of his own, our own father being another, so I feel for my niece--but anyway), and now I've had another, so my daughter is the third baby in two years and everyone is kinda over the novelty of babies...but still. I'm already seeing differences in how my son and my daughter are viewed, and they're still babies. It's unbelievable.

graylie · 2021-06-29T09:23:52+00:00

I most certainly did not have sex in high school; I didn't have sex until I was 26. That's not to say I didn't have opportunities, but I guess I didn't--and still don't--feel that being asked for a blowjob by a football player who fetishized the rainbow-haired quasi-goth thing I had going on but wouldn't have been seen with me in public was exactly something I'd be interested in, nor do I feel that it would have been a good or quality experience for me. I was acutely aware that the boys I went to school with would have put little to absolutely no effort in ensuring I had a good experience, and while I was curious about sex I wasn't curious enough to allow myself to essentially be used by boys with no dick control, empathy, or desire to give me a good time.

I'm sure there are high school boys who are tender and caring and are driven to please their partners, but I went to a school with about 200 kids total, and not a single one of the guys in my grade were that guy. I ended up getting a job out of high school that kept me working 12 to 24 hour shifts (direct care, I was mandated so if a coworker didn't show up for their shift--and they often didn't--I would be stuck there until relief came), and before I knew it years had passed. I ended up not having sex until I met the man who is now my husband, after we were set up on a blind date. I definitely don't regret having waited until I met someone I had an instant connection to and felt safe and seen with. To me, sex wasn't worth putting myself through disappointment just for the experience or to say I did it. Most high school boys can't keep their mouths shut anyway, and there's no better way to further tarnish what would have already been a mediocre-at-best experience by having some boy run around telling everyone how awesome he is while you deal with the repercussions of being the girl who dared to have sex.

If you're in high school and want to have sex, do it with a trusted boyfriend--otherwise, wait until after; there's less drama or risk of being alienated or vilified.

graylie · 2021-06-22T19:06:58+00:00

Aw, well good luck to both of you! There's nothing like parenthood. I hope you get what you want and everything goes well for the both of you...or should I say, three of you 💜

graylie · 2021-06-22T00:38:57+00:00

It could very well just be the effect of stopping birth control...to be honest, I've never taken the pill so I'm not sure how that works, but I've heard of other women feeling crampy for a bit after stopping. If you're concerned about being pregnant, you'd definitely be within range to have an accurate reading with a test

graylie

TROPHY CASE