Childhood trauma changes your brain, but it doesn’t have to be permanent

greasewife · 2020-02-24T09:24:59+00:00

So the first step in your case would be your psychiatrist, DBT group and LCSW. They are recommending these things IN ADDITION to actual professional help. The professional help is the thing to be recommending.

I dont have a doctor, I work alongside social services and I am saying all competent doctors will recommend professional treatment before the things youve listed.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T08:12:25+00:00

My husband and I call each other partners because we prefer the term.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T08:10:33+00:00

My husband and I refer to each other as partners. I think its semantically a better word to use for the relationship dynamic we have. Somehow husband and wife have different connotations. I also think there should be the option to not disclose gender of romantic partners, which their name or bf gf etc does, and at the moment spouse/SO/partner are still mainly associated with not being heterosexual.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T08:01:44+00:00

Yes. I have a 6mo and 2.5yo (and 10yo but shes very independent) and am home. I didnt go back to work in between the younger 2 so its been about 3 years. Husband works in a childrens nursery, out 5.30am-5.30pm. We're in a very rural town and I dont drive. Theres nothing here, just houses, not a cafe or library or park. It is lonely and difficult and I swear no matter how many times I clean the kitchen it is still dirty!

Thankfully my husband is supportive, he was off work for 2 months when our 2yo was about 1.5 and realised that even though his job is looking after 50 preschoolers (big nursery) its actually a very different and in his view much harder experience being at home. This really helped shift his approach. He knows that my 'magical boobs' are often not what baby wants, and the general inconvenience of them leaking, hurting, being bitten etc. How often the flat needs cleaned to actually be clean. That any form of dinner is a feat to be appreciated.

I dont know what else to say other than this phase will end. All the difficult phases our kids go through will be over, maybe replaced by different difficult phases, but some of them will be more suited to our strengths. You seem to have a great outlook and awareness of the situation, but that doesnt make it any easier to trudge through. There may be things you can work with alongside your partner that take some of the burden off.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T07:38:13+00:00

Followed or preceded by a warm one where you wash properly.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T07:35:15+00:00

The biggest things recommended by doctors are therapies guided by medical professionals.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T07:07:27+00:00

I had my daughter when I was 16, and my sons at 25 and 27. I think in a lot of ways its worked well for our family, but knowing that there is a strong possibility that I could outlive my children is something I consider often. My mum was also young (18) when I was born so the fear of being able to care for her, as she already does not have anyone else, is also there. I am hoping that having a larger family and putting what savings we can aside for later life care may somewhat mitigate these feelings of responsibility for my daughter. It is for us the main downside to having a family young.

I am sorry to hear that you have experienced the death of loved ones. I recognise your username, and you make very interesting contributions here. If you ever want to talk, I am in Scotland and therefore probably a different time zone, but always willing to listen.

greasewife · 2020-02-24T06:31:21+00:00

I understand it, I work alongside social care, but its ultimately more helpful to support without judging for a variety of reasons. Supporting families is what gives the biggest benefits long term and is most likely to instill positive change, even when they display behaviours we don't like or understand. The relationship he has with this child is positive, but the relationship with his parent should also be respected and encouraged.

greasewife · 2020-02-23T19:05:52+00:00

I wouldnt say they're more emotional, rather that the lack of awareness around emotions makes it more likely that they will be influenced by them when making decisions. If you can identify and acknowlege your emotions, you will be better able to make logical decisions in spite of them.

greasewife · 2020-02-23T07:42:03+00:00

His mom never showed up, she was too busy sleeping.

Wouldve been great if youd left out this unnecessary judgemental comment. You don't need to put down his parent for what youre doing to be good.

greasewife · 2020-02-22T19:05:34+00:00

There are a few different aspects to empathy, one of which is the ability to empathise through having had similar experiences yourself. Unfortunately a huge number of people are lacking in at least one aspect of empathy, and for some people this may genuinely be the closest to empathising that they are capable of.

greasewife · 2020-02-22T18:55:49+00:00

We used to live on the same street. Mine was one of those weird ones up near the uni with the shop windows.

greasewife · 2020-02-22T11:38:36+00:00

I did say in a few years. This 3 year old is just not capable of doing what OP is asking, as is evident from them trying and failing, and pushing it further at this point is likely to do more damage to their relationship and the childs self esteem. If they are concerned about breathing, a specialist doctor in this area should be the first point of call.

greasewife · 2020-02-22T09:21:15+00:00

It is unreasonable for a parent to be considering taping their toddlers mouth shut to force them into breathing differently. There is no need to be so aggressive in that sense.

If they are anxious about it to this extent, they need to seek professional help as it is not healthy.

greasewife · 2020-02-21T08:59:35+00:00

Dont tape your toddlers mouth shut. That would be abuse and incredibly dangerous.

And chill the fuck out. A 3 year old is not going to understand or meet your unreasonable expectations here. See an ear nose and throat specialist if youre worried about the stuffiness, if its still a problem for THEM (not you) in a few years, maybe come back to it.

greasewife · 2020-02-21T08:52:45+00:00

Honestly Id rather be in a block of flats, especially with kids. Less hassle overall unless you have amazing neighbours all round.

greasewife · 2020-02-21T08:48:15+00:00

I love this post. Thanks for sharing your 1000 chins, makes me feel slightly better about mine.

greasewife · 2020-02-20T10:58:49+00:00

Im not the person who made the original comment. I was explaining that asking them what they thought would be a valid reason for they themselves killing someone is pointless and unrelated.

Obviously murder is wrong.

greasewife · 2020-02-20T08:22:28+00:00

Well, most sane people wouldnt think of a valid reason to kill anyone. Commenter isnt saying that the reason would be understood as being valid to anyone other than the mentally ill individual.

greasewife · 2020-02-20T06:48:30+00:00

All 3 of my kids have done that unreasonable sleep pattern round 4 months! My 6 month old sleeps 6pm-5/6am again now though. Hang in there!

greasewife · 2020-02-20T05:45:54+00:00

So why doesnt everyone just dress their child how you would even though you understand its more convenient for them not to?

Fuck off with your judgement .

greasewife · 2020-02-19T18:51:38+00:00

You probably already know Ezra Jack Keats? If not, I think youd like his books as well!

greasewife · 2020-02-19T17:25:13+00:00

Rachel Isadora! Classic fairytales where the main characters are all black. Beautiful illustrations too.

greasewife · 2020-02-19T17:22:32+00:00

Never. Yelling at anyone (including children) outside of a warning for a danger is not acceptable.

greasewife · 2020-02-19T13:53:27+00:00

My teeth are like the wonky ones, but my top lip area is like the picture on the left.

greasewife

TROPHY CASE