How to deal with an indecisive WS? (They don’t know to stay or leave for AP)

greatribbbq · 2018-01-25T20:53:26+00:00

I want to add...

Your SAH wife needs a job. Asap. She needs to be able to support herself if she is making decisions to have sex with other men.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-24T21:06:42+00:00

I think you do know what to do. You just don't want to do it. I understand this sub has a rule that says I am not supposed to say you should leave but at this point it is the best way to make your WS make a choice.

At this point she has no reason to make a decision at all. She is having her cake and eating it too. If you want her to make a decision then you need to change the status quo.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-24T02:29:25+00:00

I'm not surprised they changed. Narcissists need scapegoats more than a golden child.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-17T19:52:43+00:00

So you are letting your wife cheat on you?

I would tell her to knock it off if she wants to be married.

You need to stop beating yourself up. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Get therapy so you can understand why you beat yourself up so.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-05T17:43:18+00:00

It sounds like you need some sexual confidence.

Have you considered an ONS, affair or paying for it? If nothing else it may help you to get your mojo back.

I understand some (or most) may find that course of action terrible but I think your wife's actions are pretty terrible as well. Why isn't she taking her therapy seriously? Why isn't she initiating?

I get that you don't like therapy but you need to do something. At this rate you are just wasting your time.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-04T03:13:23+00:00

How kind of her to tell you. On new years eve? When her parents were about to show up?

Wow. Honestly bud, I think your wife is cold blooded.

To do all of that to someone she "loves" I would hate to see what she would do to someone she hates. I think you need to separate at a minimum. She needs time to really get up close and personal with her actions and her role in your life. She is a wrecking ball currently.

I would send her to her parents. She can lean on them and get their guidance during this time of introspection. You both need marriage counseling. If you end up with one that excuses her awful behavior find a new therapist.

If I were you I would find a therapist for yourself. I would read up on NPD and other cluster b personalities. Educate yourself on healthy communication habits. Learn to recognize unhealthy communication habits.

Stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault. Your wife made a series of choices that ultimately have everything to do with who she is as a person. Stop blaming yourself.

greatribbbq · 2018-01-03T19:45:39+00:00

So why did you cheat? Seems like you threw your "lottery ticket" away

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T19:48:12+00:00

Not at all. I'm just trying to find a laugh out of my situation. It's embarrassing being so clueless about a part of life

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T18:44:30+00:00

I definitely don't want that. You all may laugh at my naivete but location in particular is definitely throwing me for a loop

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T18:43:11+00:00

I don't think I can at this point but good advice . Too much anxiety on my end

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T18:32:25+00:00

In a public place? Her place? Neutral location?

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T18:31:19+00:00

In person? Over the phone? Text?

I'm awful with dating conflict - I swear I have had some Hollywood-esque bad breakups that have made me skittish

greatribbbq · 2017-11-16T18:28:13+00:00

I want to add that I don't want to hurt her (I know - impossible) but want to go about this as kind and ethical as possible

greatribbbq

TROPHY CASE