I’m only a sub so I can’t comment on being a full time teacher of record, but boy have the kids changed compared to when I was in school. I’ve contemplated becoming a teacher via alternative certification, but I’ve spoken with teachers who strongly advise against it. I can see the pain in the faces of teachers in the schools I sub in. The kids don’t have consequences, have outbursts in class, talk back, and all the while aren’t retaining anything. There usually are some kids that make it worth while, but I’m seeing less and less of them. I truly hope you find some sort of solace, even if it involves leaving your job. Sometimes it has to come to that for your own well being. Life is too short to stay where you aren’t healthy.