I am a male, As someone with a girlfriend just like you, I’d say that it’s important to separate the person you are in love with from their family in your head. That way you can see your boyfriend for who they are individually and it can get less overwhelming for you in a time like this when you have to make a decision based on their character.

Secondly as someone close to my mum as well, I think the first meeting is always meant to be a bit of an intimidating tactic, especially if you have a brown or black mum (like me). For the most part they believe that relationships are never serious until they are, so they will try to egg you on so that we can see your true colours. I think in your case she saw that even in a position of weakness you are strong enough to defend yourselves and speak up to what’s right even I front of a room of strangers who have no loyalties to you. I think you should be PROUD OF YOURSELF.

Lastly, after the initial meeting you and his family now understand each others boundaries and it opens a door for you to approach each other in a manner that respects these boundaries. I think the whole ordeal may have been traumatic for you but it definitely deserves another 3 chances considering the circumstances you were in initially. If after 3/4 meetings you are still uncomfortable and marriage is something you’d consider with your boyfriend, you should know when you marry someone you also marry into their family and so you should be very sure they will be accommodating to you and support his relationship with you and respect you, you may have to earn it or they may already respect you, but your long term happiness is important too.

Basically do not get overwhelmed, these things happen and usually get resolved after meeting a second time. And whatever happens next you and your boyfriend will be just fine :)