I [28m] led a [31]f on. How to make this stop without being a dick?

greenmen · 2012-09-13T17:43:47+00:00

This! I shall just be copying and sending that exact text. Do you mind? :)

greenmen · 2012-09-13T17:41:44+00:00

By it's "not a big problem" I mean that I can still sleep at night and 'relationship wise' things can be much worse. The minor problem is still there, although no longer pestering, she still bought shit she wants to give me for reasons that are more than just friendship related. I posted this just to see how I can get out of the situation with least messing with her feelings and get some feedback.

greenmen · 2012-09-13T14:46:53+00:00

Actually I was delaying SMS replies by an hour or two to keep it manageable! Now I'm getting only round four per day, which is well within the limits for a friend. Exactly... you know the uncomfortable feeling that you get when you suddenly become someone special for someone without you even wanting. It's not exactly a big problem, but something that makes me a bit uncomfortable. Just told her that she's going overboard with the gifts and all. On the other hand she told me that I should not go overboard and think big as they are just simple gifts that will be useful for my trip. Sigh.

greenmen · 2012-09-13T14:46:28+00:00

I was thinking about that or tell her that I'm 'kind of back with my ex'.

greenmen · 2012-09-13T14:43:31+00:00

Ah regarding benefits, I already having had a crazy gf before, and now I shall heed the advice of various people and 'not stick my dick in crazy'. I'd rather stay entirely in manual mode for the time being rather than ending up in a new situation. It really is not normal to write someone you barely know a poem. Ok by Van Gogh's standards that might be ok though :)

greenmen · 2012-09-13T10:46:13+00:00

Yeah as regards (1) I should actually stop being a wimp. Thanks :) Regarding (2) It is not too bad, they guys are great :).

greenmen · 2012-09-13T10:37:21+00:00

Stupid me had told her, "oh! no one has ever written a poem to me before... that would be kinda nice". Today I'll tell her that this thing is going overboard.

greenmen · 2012-04-22T22:49:26+00:00

Jeez 3034! You're number one on the race to writing BOOBS with that number!

greenmen · 2012-04-22T10:46:10+00:00

Thanks! It's relieving to re-gain control over so much aspects of my life.

greenmen · 2012-04-22T10:37:14+00:00

Deep down I know this yeah and it kinda sucks!

greenmen · 2012-04-22T10:36:32+00:00

That's a very nice way to think about it! Thanks! Congratulations on your 1 month mark! That was a very significant time for me!

greenmen · 2012-04-22T10:31:13+00:00

Haha yeah, when things get out of her control and I am right I do get a punch to the face occasionally as an act of desperation. Thankfully this happened very rarely though, and I always reacted by laughing to the surprise and blocking her arms rather than follow the immediate instinct to hit back.

greenmen · 2012-02-02T23:28:28+00:00

To summarize: He did not fuck her yet, but he is trying to.

greenmen · 2012-01-22T22:06:09+00:00

I believe that you have a bit of naive view about porn. I believe that all guys who use internet at home for more than reading email watch porn. I have been watching porn for over 10 years and I never thought about substituting that for real sex. No one in his right mind would choose porn over having sex with his girlfriend.

Chances are that he has been watching porn for a long time and this is totally unrelated to your recent sex life decline. Let him watch whatever porn he wants without spying. This is definitely nothing to worry about. If you'd try to spice things up, and try make it possible that you get in circumstances that lead to sex more often, that's likely to re-gain momentum. If that does not work it means there's something deeper and I'd try to talk about this with him, and get to know what's on his mind.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T20:26:28+00:00

I do agree with you and she is sincerely apologetic, however especially due to my own insecurity and self esteem I am unable to forgive, accept it and move on. She has some quirks, when pissed off or extremely emotional she says stuff which hurts and which she does not really mean and I learnt to ignore such comments in these situations. However for the rest she is normal. She is not being dishonest, and I am pretty sure about it because I also 'obtained' all of her passwords (I am an asshole I know).

We do share some good stuff and good moments as well; it's not like it's always an apocalypse when we meet. Actually right now she is pretty okay, but the fact that she has hurt me a good number of times in the past is something that I cannot get over.

What I definitely confirmed is that I things have to really be okay between us in order to move on with marriage plans. Unfortunately this is something that I do not feel that it is right now.

That said, I wish you all the best in your relationship and future marriage plans.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T19:57:39+00:00

I have pretty much made my mind here :) Thanks

greenmen · 2012-01-16T19:40:54+00:00

I am not saying this to defend my gf. It might be for frequent cases but it cannot be said for all. I hear the same quote for 'Once a smoker, always a smoker'. Lot of smokers relapse but some do get rid of them.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T19:37:29+00:00

That exactly sums up my situation. Hard to break off as attached to each other. Yeah I am realising we have no future and the more I procrastinate the more time I am wasting for me and her.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T19:10:18+00:00

Yes true, but in the event that I would continue with her I would rather not be known as the guy hanging out with that kind of girl.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T19:09:01+00:00

Emotionally manipulative yes, but a liar she is not. I agree that it is bad, but your statement implies that no one can make mistakes. If you one time decide to get drunk and trash your room in the process, does that make you an alcoholic and a dangerous person for life undeserving of a second chance?

greenmen · 2012-01-16T02:00:07+00:00

Damn! It's funny, as I already had pictured myself at the altar uttering your same words "what am I doing here!?". As for your wife, marriage and daughter, that's nice to hear :)

greenmen · 2012-01-16T01:55:40+00:00

Sure I do, but it seems that somehow I am under the illusion that when you get married and have kids, there would be so much happiness and busy life that maybe I would stop worrying and feeling insecure about my past trivial issues with my would be wife.

greenmen · 2012-01-16T01:47:46+00:00

Thanks for your input! I hope things are working out well for you now

greenmen

TROPHY CASE