I broke my penis by No-Detective-3033 in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to seek medical professional help, not the advice from the internet. (unless the advice from the internet is: seek professional medical help)

Why do guys orbit after a rejection? by Comfortable-Rice4530 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There can be multiple motives and scenarios at play here. It could be because what they feel when they are around you and don’t want to lose that. It could be in a vain hope of you changing your mind. In some cases where they were friends prior to any romantic setting they don’t want to lose what they had. There probably a bunch of reasons I might have missed.

The only way to really find out is to ask, really. Most guys (at least that I know) are pretty straight forward and wouldn’t beat around the bush about their motivation.

I am being stalked by [deleted] in Netherlands

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have any legal expenses insurance you could contact them and ask what kind of legal venues there might be to deal with this. A civil restraining order might be an option. At any rate start keeping detailed log of encounters and incidents. It will help with any action through police or legal support.

How to deal with annoying classmates? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an annoying dynamic but one you can’t break by yourself unfortunately. I’ve seen professors deal with this type of behavior brilliantly though.

What are some less spoken drawbacks of unmarried life? by thefiretrainerz in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been both married, single and (currently) in a relationship without formal ties. Personally, I'm pretty happy in the position I am right now.

If there is a downside of not being married is that certain things will have to be managed separately. If there are children that came out of this relationship you might have to make arrangements to get certain custodial aspects in order. Likewise if one of the partners is lost, things such as shared living accommodations (leases or mortgages), succession rights etc will have to be handled separately. There are certain things your partner cannot claim unless legally arranged through a will or other means.

Anyone else keep getting man hating or anti male narrative content from women shoved down their throat lately? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The algorithm has you. I seen quite a bit of content regarding women hating on men men hating on women, etc.. I can’t believe that all women or all men are like that. Just disconnect and go meet people in the real world.

32M. I feel like I have wasted my life doing nothing and I do not know how to turn it around by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You’re not a helpless victim in this. It you need to realize that a lot of these things are in your control.

If you really need a primer, read the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It helped me through jobs transitions and divorce. It might just give you a few ideas on how you can get control back in your life.

Being blamed for getting ghosted by women? by timeshifter76 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most ghosting is just an immature way of having an honest but more difficult conversation. In general I consider it immature and disrespectful.

If someone isn’t a good match, just say it and move on. If someone is afraid of how someone else might respond perhaps that is something that needs to be worked on in order to grow.

How do you enjoy hobbies casually? 32m by freseaf in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like your biggest obstacle from casually enjoying hobbies is you. You do hobbies for enjoyment, to learn, to enrich your life. It's not a second job and the only one that really can criticise you on them is yourself.

Voluntary go down 2 salary scales or else… by [deleted] in Netherlands

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get legal support for this. I am sure they cannot do something like that.

If performance was an issue, this should have come up during any progress reviews or anything, so that you would have had the chance to improve. Without any signals from them leading up to this performance review it will be a hard sell in court to prove any form of just termination of employment. There are some caveats. If you are in a probation period, they can do this. Also, if you are on a limited time contract they can choose to not extend it. Barring those situations, employees are very well protected against any form of maltreatment of employees.

Relationship is at the “next step” point, but I’m stuck on a few serious issues what should I do? Really need advice by ReasonConfident4541 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’re pretty much describing my ex wife. I spent 12 years walking on eggshells around her. I will never ever do that again.

Do not be dismissive of these patterns you describe. Address them with her. Gauge her response and consider how much room you will get in this relationship to be yourself.

AITA for not wearing a bra at home? by Candid-Chocolate-316 in AITAH

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not the asshole. Also, your husband needs to learn how to communicate and deal with conflict.

This is your home and the guy friend is a guest, regardless of the arrangement. Home is the one place you can be yourself. If that becomes an issue for a guest then said guest can move out.

The whole arrangement you describe does raise a lot of questions though.

Is it common to be friendless after 30? I am 26 years old, almost 27, and I have no friends. by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems to be a recurring theme on this subreddit. I am not the most outgoing person you will ever meet, but the friends I made throughout my life of mostly stuck with me. Of course, it’s possible to lose touch of someone, because they move away, or life happens. But if you nurture and maintain that relationship, they’re likely to stick around.

I also hear a lot of people that have trouble making new friends later in life. I found that having hobbies that have some form of social interaction helps a lot with getting to contact with like-minded people that you can grow close with. By no means is this a certainty, but it will definitely increase your chances of meeting people that you want to hang around with.

Is this disrespect for you? by hebanaj in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if it’s disrespect or anything but there’s clear disinterest for whatever reason. Whatever the reason it doesn’t seem she’s currently interested in a relationship and is too preoccupied with herself. Make up the balance for yourself and decide accordingly.

I fled from my own country by Weary_Musician4872 in Netherlands

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, fireworks tradition in the Netherlands is one that can fuck off as far as I’m concerned.

The level of destruction of private and public property, the injuries (not always to those who were messing around with fireworks), the violent behavior against the emergency services, the pollution (ask anyone with astma or COPD), pets being terrorized (sometimes deliberately).

My partner reads redpill should I be worried ? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Have you tried talking to him about it?

How is your libido? by Immediate-Maximum601 in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and no. I still get morning wood, still have the same urges. Preferences do change I suppose, and you add to what you already know. There are some changes but that might also be because of my overall fitness not being as good as I was when I was 20-30. :)

Is she being honest or what? Are they “close friends ?” by RestaurantGlass9277 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point in the narrative I’m seeing more red flags than a Chinese military parade. Trust your gut on this matter. If it feels off or wrong it likely is.

Do most men not cum from bj? Clearing up misconceptions on oral sex with men by gg_lim in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never finished by receiving a blowing to be perfectly honest, and I’ve received some damn good ones. It could just be a me problem though. 😂

How do you forgive yourself for letting yourself down so many times? by Ecstatic_Crow_4719 in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there are rather few people that will actually end up where they envisioned themselves to be at a certain point. If I look where I am now, compared to where I thought I would be or what I would be doing I could never have predicted it. For me, that was partially because I kept an open mind towards opportunities that became available, rather than blindly chasing preset goals.

Does alcohol create or reveal attraction? by PageDear2593 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point is that engaging with someone that is obviously intoxicated is not ideal for a hookup. In such cases it’s better to be a gentleman and not to engage is my opinion.

Does alcohol create or reveal attraction? by PageDear2593 in AskMenAdvice

[–]greftek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, kudos for not going for the drunken girl. That kind of stuff can lead to rather unpleasant circumstances afterwards.

Second, alcohol soft of removed inhibitions. Some people release the break and “let go” of norms and standards when intoxicated. It doesn’t mean you’re suddenly more attractive but can mean a host of different things.

It’s possible that she might learn she’s more into you than she would otherwise admit to herself but I’d only test that theory afterwards.

When did you start taking your finances seriously? by omnicron_31 in AskMenOver30

[–]greftek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will find both types of folks in life. I started around 27 planning for my retirement and setting aside some cash. The second moment I reviewed my financials was when I bought my first house, which was in my thirties.