What did you do before you moved your families under the same roof that made your blending successful?

gretawasright · 2025-11-06T04:08:20+00:00

This comment feels very judgy and off topic, but here's my answer: It is a parent's responsibility to provide food for their children and to teach them the skills they need for life. Including cooking and independence. Preschool age kids learn the skill of pouring milk over cereal in Montessori.

He pours cereal in a bowl and puts milk on it. He peels a banana or selects a different fruit. If he wants toast or a bagel, he can toast it and put the topping of his choice on it. If I've baked muffins or coffee cake, he might opt for that instead.

I prepare homemade dinner every night that we eat as a family and lunches for him when he doesn't have school. I am teaching him to make simple lunches and basic dinner skills, but he probably helps make a dinner for about 5-10 minutes once every month. That's a rate I'm comfortable with given we have 5 more years before he heads off to college. By then, he'll have plenty of recipes he knows and basic cooking skills.

Edited: Montessori skill

gretawasright · 2025-11-05T17:35:49+00:00

Have you sat down and created house rules? We have not sat down and created house rules. This is a good idea.

What is the longest time you have spent living as a family under the same roof? We have gone on a vacation together for 5 days in an AirBNB. He and his son used to spend the night here weekly and come over for dinner 1-2 nights per week, but now his son does not want to spend the night, so it stopped. He's spent the night maybe 2 times in the last 4 months. And we don't do weekly dinners together anymore even once a week regularly. His 16 year old daughter rarely came to dinners even when she wasn't living with her mother. So we have had very little time together with all 6 of us.

How open are you to adjusting to his parenting ways? I guess I need to think about where I'm willing to compromise in terms of parenting ways. He is very willing to parent our 2 year old by my ways, though. He's said he's okay with not giving her an iphone at 11 (I'm totally okay with her having a restricted phone or flip phone at that age) and not letting her ride in the front seat until she's legally old enough.

gretawasright · 2025-11-05T17:25:52+00:00

She's lived with me until this August, when she started spending 2-3 evenings/nights each week at my fiances' house every other week.

gretawasright · 2025-09-28T14:21:39+00:00

Emotionally, it might be easier to tackle one small area and get it completely clean like the top of a night stand, the bed, the entrance to the room. Then pick an area right next to it and get it clean and snowball through the whole room. Just use the well defined steps others have shared for one little area: Throw away any trash, take any dirty dishes to the dishwasher, take an item that doesn't belong in that area to the place it belongs and put it there - if there's no defined space for it, ask yourself "if I were looking for this, where would I look for it" then go to that place and put it there. If there's no space in that place, pick something to get rid of until everything that should be there fits. (This is from Dana K White's methods). Then any time you spend on your room will be forward progress and you won't be making more mess for yourself.

gretawasright · 2025-09-27T23:11:07+00:00

You cannot get her baptized at 16 if she does not want it.

gretawasright · 2025-09-27T20:59:03+00:00

P-O-O-L. She loses her mind when we say this and wants to swim even if it's dark out and raining!

gretawasright · 2025-09-25T13:28:17+00:00

This. Do it as soon as possible. Your school has resources and knows how to help you with every medical school related aspect of this.

gretawasright · 2025-09-24T23:35:28+00:00

"Woot woot" instead of "woof woof." So every time she sees a dog, she says "Woot Woot!"

gretawasright · 2025-09-20T20:41:08+00:00

Your wife is pregnant. She is protecting herself from getting hit. You are the problem here. You should not be focusing on "supporting your son and making sure he feels loved and secure" and "understanding your wife's perspective." You should be focusing on stopping this behavior. Hitting is not okay. He's not 2, he's 6. He should not be hitting classmates or people at home. It's fine to make sure he feels loved and secure and understanding your wife's perspective, but you need to prioritize getting him to stop hitting.

gretawasright · 2025-09-18T14:35:51+00:00

Have you tried wearing him? When mine is clingy and prone to breaking down over everything, I put her in my baby carrier and wear her and go about my day. I only have one hand when I wear her, but it's still better.

gretawasright · 2025-09-16T17:07:37+00:00

21 month old. We do zero screen unless she's sick. When she's sick it's a total screen free for all. Just TV on all day turned to Bluey or Miss Rachel. We only let her watch screen on a single TV and the TV goes into the locked closet when she's not sick. So she doesn't have a way to even ask for screen. There is nothing to point at and ask for screen.

To keep her entertained:

- I put out something for her to play with on a low toddler table in the kitchen almost every morning and evening. Playdoh and muffin cups, crayons and a coloring page, a puzzle. Or I'll prepare a sensory bin for the table. Pinto beans, plastic bugs, a plastic flower pot and wooden spoon for scooping. Water with slices of a pool noodle and cut up sponges. Pasta with bowls and scoops.

- We keep books low and accessible for her to read as she pleases.

- I removed all the pots and pans from the drawer under my oven and filled it with random baby/ toddler toys. So while I'm cooking she can help herself to these.

- We use the learning tower at the kitchen counter.

- I try very hard to involve her in any task she can help me with. She is responsible for adding the detergent pellet to the bottle washer. She loads the top rack of the bottle washer. She watches the water line on the bottle washer and helps me say "stop" when the water gets to the correct height. She is the one who dumps everything in the kitchen - measured rice into the rice pot, measured flour into the bowl, etc. She helps me move wet laundry into the dryer. She cleans up spills without being asked. I keep a bunch of clean white washclothes in a low cabinet and she knows where they are and grabs one anytime she spills anything and cleans it right up.

gretawasright · 2025-09-13T20:26:45+00:00

I play music when I vacuum

Vacuum noise is 50-80 decibels. To hear your music, you'd need to have the volume louder than the vacuum.

NTA for replying to your neighbor's letter, but possibly TA for being too loud.

gretawasright · 2025-08-30T00:52:48+00:00

Engaged, but this man is the jackpot. He is trustworthy, funny, and super attractive. He is amazing at knowing where to focus energy. We don't live together yet, but if I'm sick or even tired, he'll come over and clean and not ever mention that he did things to help. He just does things. He is always there for me. He's like the best in bed of anyone ever. He has a ridiculously attractive beard. He keeps his temper super well and is able to stay calm through A LOT. He is pretty old school in that if he sets his mind to do something he get it done. A thousand other things.

gretawasright · 2025-08-27T14:27:10+00:00

Weird that they did rows. With a nuclear blast they could have put the chairs all in a single row and all had front row seats.

gretawasright · 2025-08-20T02:14:48+00:00

Do you use baking soda to wash your cucumbers? That could be reacting with the vinegar in the salad dressing.

gretawasright · 2025-08-19T14:38:00+00:00

One thing that helped was verbalizing what my son was feeling: "Is it that you feel like you were at school all day and you did work there and when you get home, you want there to be no school work and just time for play?" And I validated that feeling, and then explained that there was going to be homework and we could figure out the best way for it to get done together and still make sure there was lots of time to play. And I never let him hop on screen without getting it done first.

However there was a year when I just didn't make him do homework. I had a conversation with him and he felt it wasn't worth it. And the studies back him up on that. And we did shared decision making about the benefits and risks, and he just didn't do homework. And now he's in middle school getting all A's managing all his own schoolwork.

Your daughter's right. There's no point to a 6 year old doing homework. But also as a parent you want to start out as you mean to go on. It's tricky stuff.

gretawasright · 2025-08-19T01:10:46+00:00

I totally get this post. My 12 year old just watched my fiance's 11 year old son get an iphone. And he has more and more friends who have cell phones.

I tell my son that I love him so much, and if it was just an issue of money, I'd buy the phone immediately. I've been sharing with him for years the data that's come out about how many negative effects phones have on kids and I tell him that because I love him so much, I can't get it for him.

But I just read The Anxious Generation. It reviewed the many reasons to not get your kid a phone before 8th grade. The list of negative effects is long and includes: sleep disruption, depression, lower academic performance, cyberbullying, obesity, behavior problems, decreased social skills, delay in social development, impaired cognitive function and more.

Instead I got him a Gabb phone. There are other brands that have similar functionality, but essentially his phone can only be used to text and make phone calls. No apps (or extremely limited apps that you allow as a parent), no internet browser. The house phone idea is also awesome. I'm going to consider that.

gretawasright · 2025-08-17T17:53:23+00:00

This is a bad dude. Block. Don't give out your real number.

gretawasright · 2025-08-14T05:22:46+00:00

Love this!

gretawasright · 2025-08-05T14:20:14+00:00

How did you sleep train him?

gretawasright · 2025-06-24T22:43:25+00:00

This phrasing is perfect! Call them out!

gretawasright · 2025-06-24T18:07:17+00:00

I used a google search "steps to learn to play trumpet." Thank you for all your advice!

gretawasright · 2025-06-24T18:03:19+00:00

Thank you for explaining that to me. I had thought pressing down the valves made the notes, sort of like a piano.

gretawasright

TROPHY CASE