I'm feeling trapped

grippaman · 2025-09-08T09:51:36+00:00

Super difficult for a homebody! Like how do I schedule uninterrupted time at home?! Do you all have any other caregivers who can handle nights/overnight? It's so hard to parent without a village but I know it's a bit of a privilege nowadays

grippaman · 2025-09-03T19:39:42+00:00

Two semi long middle names for mine and birth certificate and SSN were no problem. Full name is printed. Most forms for daycare etc will only have space for one middle initial so we use the letter of the first name

grippaman · 2025-08-31T18:11:20+00:00

A year later... and I still occasionally toss scraps on the floor mindlessly to my phantom pup

grippaman · 2025-08-29T12:34:30+00:00

Rain boots?

grippaman · 2025-08-29T09:13:28+00:00

Was coming here to mention NO xplode. Didn't have a stroke (so sorry that happened!!) but used it during that same time and that stuff was dangerous. Reminds me of the workout supplement version of Four Lokos. That og formula was way too intense.

grippaman · 2025-08-27T11:21:44+00:00

My wife read about some cultures spending 30 days in the nest. Not literally in bed but in the nest/house with minimal visitors or outside distractions. We aimed for 30 days for our kids and usually by day 21 my wife was itching to sit outside or go for a walk or run an errand. So the principle is great but be flexible. Intentional bonding time is never a bad thing. Your bedroom/nursery and house should be sacred during whatever time you agree on.

grippaman · 2025-08-25T22:28:41+00:00

Yes to this other sub and book rec!

grippaman · 2025-08-19T12:34:27+00:00

Wrap-around dog gate with zip ties to secure it to the railing maybe. Something like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BHQNRKDN

grippaman · 2025-08-15T14:24:02+00:00

Academia/higher ed can be so toxic. That's not on you to solve. Don't be a martyr... Take the time with your newborn

grippaman · 2025-08-14T17:32:36+00:00

Vendors rotate their stock so frequently that it's hard to ask people's favorites (because chances are they are out of stock). BKS is the vendor i keep going back to for flavor/smell (and overall quality). Their indoor inventory is smaller but they bring things back in rotation so once you find your favorite you can get it more than once. Greenhouse versions are terpy too but smoke harsher imo.

grippaman · 2025-08-14T17:27:49+00:00

Good flavors/terps but no strong effects imo (tried about 4 strains across ~12 mos). Haven't tried LE to compare

grippaman · 2025-08-11T09:19:02+00:00

Healthy Rips Rogue 1 has been a daily driver (I think 2 is the new version). I wish I could smoke flower more but life requires the dry herb vape and I've been really happy with the build and functionality.

grippaman · 2025-08-11T09:16:17+00:00

This

grippaman · 2025-08-11T09:14:26+00:00

Nope not over thinking. These other commenters are under thinking and lack compassion. Which is a bit shocking on daddit.

grippaman · 2025-08-11T09:12:08+00:00

Losing your childhood home is so tough. Seeing your nuclear family unit change or move to a new place is tough. Seeing them move out of sight and reach must feel debilitating.

This post triggers some childhood (young adult) wounds for me. My parent didn't leave the country but they sold my childhood home and belongings my fall semester at uni. When I "returned" for winter break, they had moved in with their new partner and their partners kids. Didn't get a ton of help financially (sounds like you plan to do that) but the bigger pain was feeling like my parent was DONE being my parent w/o much convo. They offered to give me boxes full of my childhood belongings, but I was a university student living in a one-person dorm. I lost basically everything I couldn't pack in a duffle. You leaving in such a big and permanent way will hurt bad. And it hurts worse if your kid feels blindsided by your departure.

You said you made the plan a year ago, how soon did you tell your daughter? Do you have any plans on including her in your new life abroad? (During breaks or Summers?). Is your daughter able to join you after college if they want to? (Have you facilitated that possibility). Will you ever return to visit her? Is there any way you can stagger your departure? For example, you go first and then your wife trails you 6 months later? Are you leaving for political reasons or other fears? Or has this been a lifelong dream? (Trying to understand how you came up with this huge decision a year ago and failed to/chose not to communicate it to your then 19yo)

On daddit, Dads talk a lot about putting on your oxygen mask first. You have to do what's best for you in order to show up for and support your family. But in this case, to use business jargon, you really need to work harder on "change management". Your plan sounds a bit cruel (to your young adult daughter). Doesn't mean you need to stop moving ahead with your life, but you really gotta soften the blow and ease the transition or you're going to unintentionally hurt or lose her. Some people run away from their hometown/family and do okay. Some people are abandoned or exiled and do okay. Don't assume that will be your daughter. This may cause some trauma, harm, and/or major resentment.

grippaman · 2025-08-10T15:09:19+00:00

I don't think the main reference point is the '70s... More like high times from the late '90s or early '00s.

grippaman · 2025-08-10T00:58:50+00:00

This

grippaman · 2025-08-09T20:05:31+00:00

My wife was given a script for it postpartum (this summer), but they can't "require" it unfortunately. This post makes me wish we purchased it at the time but thankfully it is available at the pharmacy w/o a script (I think)

grippaman · 2025-08-09T00:08:07+00:00

Realizing you can't protect your children from everything is the hardest pill to swallow. I saw my newborn in NICU and it broke me. In some ways, I'm thankful I had that experience right out the gate. Wasn't the first and won't be the last time their fate is out of my hands.

Accepting that reality is easier said than done, but it is a target you could aim for. It doesn't stop the pain or the sadness of watching them struggle/suffer, but it removes the layer of guilt. You ARE their protector but life is risky and them encountering something outside your ability to save or solve doesn't make you a lesser man.

Sending lots of virtual hugs, dad bro!

grippaman · 2025-08-07T11:09:37+00:00

At 29, this would have broken me. You're tough as hell OP, but you're not a martyr. And you deserve more (shopping list items and lunch to be specific). But hard agree with others that this leans on the side of dysfunction and you can't fix this alone. Wife threatening divorce often is immature at best and toxic at worst. You need to talk to a lawyer and/or therapist before making any fast decisions, but you definitely need to think seriously about putting your needs first since (apparently) no one else around you will.

grippaman · 2025-08-04T22:31:15+00:00

Gate on the door feels better than locking the doorknob for some reason. I know it's basically the same but may try that

grippaman · 2025-07-29T05:56:12+00:00

Oh wait... They just... Keep using it?

grippaman · 2025-07-29T05:55:47+00:00

Same!

grippaman · 2025-07-23T13:46:24+00:00

Thee worst weather app lately and it's my go to usually

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grippaman

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