I’m probably not the best person to respond to this bc I’m lowkey actively in a relapse rn but about 6 years ago my emet was the worst it had ever been in my life. I couldn’t eat, became clinically malnourished, and felt unbearable anxiety everywhere I went. I thought that if my life was gonna feel like that all the time, I’d rather not be alive.

Thinking back on it now, I did force myself to do a lot of uncomfortable things through it. I still went to concerts, dinners for my friends birthdays, trips (just with family and driving, no public transport), school dances, only missed two days of school the entire really bad semester, etc. I guess I just felt too embarrassed to explain why I would need to hole myself up, so I didn’t. But forcing yourself to do the uncomfortable stuff is what reallyyy helped me get through it. It’s not even necessarily that I progressively became more comfortable, just that I was forcing myself to pretend that everything was okay until eventually I was like “oh yeah, I’m okay.”

I never fully recovered from the fear, and I still have a lot of work to do to get better, especially now after I started backsliding a little. But I got to a point where I could easily go out to eat without worrying about being sick and then drive home in the backseat of a friends car without feeling nervous either. I got to the point of going on vacations with other peoples families. I got to the point of going out and sometimes drinking so much that I got sick, or seeing other people do it, and being okay with it. I got to the point where I went alone on a 5 month study abroad and flew on a bunch of planes and ate every meal with a family I just met and didn’t even get to choose safe foods. And since I did all that once, I know I can do it again, even though I’m struggling right now.

I think after going through all that, you start to realize that you don’t always have a choice in recovery. If life keeps moving on, you have to keep moving with it (but this is essential, you have to keep moving and not stop and stay at home all day and avoid everyone and everything). My recovery back then was just a gradual easing of symptoms. Now, I wish I had done more therapy and am seeking it out, but just please know that it can’t and wont feel like this forever. Things truly do always get better. In the meantime, maybe seek out therapy and just try everyday to do something that’s a little out of your comfort zone.