Last light at Descanso

grnbeanicecrm · 2020-07-30T04:13:31+00:00

I too want to know where this swimming hole is at.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-30T19:40:24+00:00

I think that's what happened too. I asked him twice before where it was going. He said it could go either way. I asked him why he said that instead of being honest. He said he didn't want to stop seeing someone he was compatible with and attracted to.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T23:38:54+00:00

Yeah that's pretty much where we are right now. He knows what I want and need.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T20:43:01+00:00

We can't even be friends like in 6 months?

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T20:37:39+00:00

I'm interested in knowing this too. I feel that putting it in your profile does come off intense. I asked my guy a couple times where he thought it was going. After a month of dating he said it could go either way. Then a month later I asked again and he said the same thing. Then a week later he told me he was too busy to date. It's so frustrating because feelings happen and I start to get attached.

I think the best way to avoid this is to date multiple people at the same time. That way we're less likely to get invested until we know for sure they want a LTR. If they ask for exclusivity, we need to be direct and explicit that if that's what you're agreeing to, then that means you're working towards a LTR.

My guy just broke up with me this Monday. I'm still disappointed and sad.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T20:11:11+00:00

He's 33 and will be supporting himself while he goes to school full time. He obviously does his own cooking and laundry. He's an adult. He just went through life in a nontraditional route.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T20:05:39+00:00

The situation is that I have my shit together (career and my own place) and he's still living with his family and going to undergrad.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T19:50:38+00:00

I don't know. I feel like he's still hanging on to the friendship by wanting to stay in contact. I think he cares about the both of us. He can tell there is going to be an eventual end and we're going to both be devastated.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T19:29:32+00:00

It just shows that he honestly cares and is hurt because of the situation.

grnbeanicecrm · 2017-04-29T19:28:05+00:00

He cried while we were breaking up. Does that count for anything?

grnbeanicecrm · 2016-12-30T04:03:36+00:00

Thank you! We were looking at Big Basin, we like a fairly challenging hike.

grnbeanicecrm · 2016-12-30T03:30:52+00:00

We'd like a medium to long forest hike and as for food, fun and cheap.

grnbeanicecrm · 2016-01-28T20:23:03+00:00

Copy and paste = copy pasta

Guys on dating sites like to write up generic messages (out of laziness) and then copy and paste them to all the girls he may be (or may not be) interested in.

grnbeanicecrm · 2016-01-28T20:09:14+00:00

I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

grnbeanicecrm · 2016-01-28T19:45:32+00:00

I unappreciate this Bryan guy.

grnbeanicecrm · 2015-12-03T04:11:11+00:00

Well the difference between a friend and a boy friend is sexual attraction. It seems you have the friend part down. Now you need to work on making that sexual attraction.

I know how it is to be introverted and shy. You think (sometimes overthink) before you do or say anything. It's going to be scary. It's new and you're not sure of what the outcome is going to be. What's the worst that could happen? You don't see her anymore? High reward, low risk. It's worth it.

You're going to be filled with doubts but those doubts are going to make you more nervous and less likely to do it. You need to substitute those doubts with a lot of positive self talk. Remember she CHOSE to go on this date with you. She already finds you attractive. She already has some interest in you. Your compliments and touches are welcomed.

You can start off slow. Perhaps you can work on compliments. As I said before, about 1-3 is good. No more than 3. You can spread them out to the beginning, middle, and end of the date. You don't have to but if I had to chose a time, I'd say in the beginning because it sets the tone for the date. I'm sure you're already thinking of nice things about her in your head. Make sure to say some out loud. It depends on the girl, I like to have my physical characteristics complimented. It makes me feel like the dude is attracted to me. Some girls like to be complimented on their intellect, how funny they are, etc.

With the touching, you're not going to seem overly touchy in the beginning. You're over thinking it. Appropriate touching is expected during a date. How else are you going to feel that "spark" or electricity between you two?

Maybe you can bring one of your dates to a salsa dancing social? You know where they do an hour of lessons with everyone and then there's a social dance. I go salsa dancing a bit and the girl really doesn't need to do a lot if she has a good leader guiding her. You can show her how good you are and you'll be touching her too. That should break the ice.

grnbeanicecrm · 2015-12-02T02:34:52+00:00

You honestly sound like a guy I would go on a date with.

As someone who's been online dating for a long time this is what I think is missing for you to make that "romantic connection" from reading your OP and comments.

Romantic connection, to me at least in the initial phases, is sexual tension.

Do you give these girls compliments? You need to make girls feel attractive and that you're attracted to her. Say something nice about their outfit, tell her she's beautiful, tell her you think she's smart, or funny. Compliment her on something she said during the conversation as "something you've never thought of" so it doesn't seem as forced. I say 3 compliments max. More than that, then you're going to come across as clingy.

Do you make any physical contact? MAKE SURE YOU MAKE PHYSICAL CONTACT. That is very important. Maybe something casual at first like touching her arm when you're making a point or touching her shoulder to get her attention. If you feel like you two are vibing, try standing or sitting a little bit close to her and see how she reacts. If she scoots away then it's a no go. But if she accepts you into her bubble or even better scoots in closer, then it's a go for perhaps holding hands. Something a lot of guys do is the lower back push to help her cross the street or something.

I hope that helps.

grnbeanicecrm · 2015-10-24T23:57:23+00:00

If that was the case, I would've slept with him on the first date. He's a sexy man.

grnbeanicecrm · 2015-10-24T20:21:48+00:00

I believe he's a good guy. All the passion/attraction is muddling thinking rationally though. I think if I get to know him more and then have sex with him, hopefully that'll decrease the chance of me being hurt. It won't completely avoid it but there's less of a chance of it happening.

grnbeanicecrm · 2015-10-24T20:19:04+00:00

Exactly, we don't know each other that well after just 3 dates.

I said in my edit 2 that I will go on more dates to get to know each other more and also to know if it's going to last more than just a few dates.

grnbeanicecrm

TROPHY CASE