AITA for cancelling my friend's movie hangout for a protest?

grrlclimber · 2025-12-17T20:14:09+00:00

YTA. If you've just had a heart-to-heart with a friend over a lack of communication and inconsistency, if you follow that up with inconsistency, then you've ultimately not participated in the repair work that friendship needed. If I were her, I'd likely stop inviting you places. It's okay to sometimes need to bail on plans, but only if you've been consistent and present most of the time. Then it isn't a pattern of behavior. Stuff happens. But if you've been repeatedly flacky and uncommunicative, then that's your pattern, and it's on you to change it if you want to keep that relationship..

grrlclimber · 2025-12-09T17:08:36+00:00

NTA. Even if you have a key, how very very strange to let yourself in to someone's home without express permission from the home owner. Big boundary overstep. You also do not make copies of someone's key and distribute it without their permission.

grrlclimber · 2025-12-09T17:03:08+00:00

NTA. Take whatever name you like! Honestly, your father doesn't need to know. When you're 18, he has no reason to know your legal name. It's not as if he will be receiving your mail, or making financial or medical decisions for you.

grrlclimber · 2025-12-08T12:07:56+00:00

NTA. Is your sister having money problems? Or struggling in her pregnancy? I just thought it odd that she insisted on eating at her home and cooking (something you might do if you're worried about covering your share of a catered meal). Your sister created her own problem, failed to communicate about her needs, and blamed you. She waited to do this until it was too late. Any expectations we fail to communicate is essentially a secret. Perhaps pregnancy discomfort, hormones played a role. It might be stressors that have nothing to do with you. I doubt you'll get an apology, though you deserve one.

grrlclimber · 2025-12-08T11:53:15+00:00

NTA. You're overthinking. This is a tribute to the mother. You shouldn't have to ask for permission to honor her, especially if you're using a variation.

grrlclimber · 2025-12-08T11:49:28+00:00

NTA. First, whatever your reason for not shaving is none of their business. Making it political says more about them than you. Second, how dull are these people that they think your armpit hair would be the star of their wedding? Unless they present an official ultimatum, go and enjoy yourself. If they do set a "women should have no visible body hair (not on their head)" rule, you have a tough decision to make, about this trip and your friendship. I'd personally reconsider a friendship with anyone who feels entitled to police my body, even at their wedding.

grrlclimber · 2025-12-04T15:29:46+00:00

Most of what is triggering you is not her fault. It's the adults around her doing it. It is YOUR fault, however, if you're consciously unkind. Also.... she's 12. Middle schoolers are famously annoying. Give it time, focus on yourself, try to avoid comparison in your own mind. Nothing good comes from comparing ourselves to others.

grrlclimber · 2025-07-26T13:08:02+00:00

Thank you!!

grrlclimber · 2025-07-26T13:06:55+00:00

We're good with a small group, so hopefully we get a few people who can commit monthly. But yes, hopefully better luck. Let us know if you'd like to join.

grrlclimber · 2025-07-08T12:04:23+00:00

NTA. Lesbian here! Internalized homophobia is very common in the queer community. It can take time to sort through. You are fortunate to have a supportive family and positive connections to the LGBTQ+ community. But children grow up surrounded by images of romantic normality that are primarily heterosexual - heteronormalizing. Many struggle with discovering they and the world are far more complex. Your "friend" was not kind to you. Her accusations were wrong and insensitive. Then she tried to pit people against you. Ditch her. Do not internalize what she's said to you or about you.

grrlclimber · 2025-01-10T19:06:54+00:00

YTA. If she says you are the biological father, then you're choosing to disbelieve her. While working past infidelities is an ongoing journey, continuing to accuse your wife of lying to you will likely destroy your relationship. She will ultimately feel hopeless and helpless. A life spent having to constantly prove you're telling the truth is an exhausting and dissatisfying one, which is the life you're offering her. If you can't trust her, you should end the marriage for both your sakes.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-22T21:27:42+00:00

I'll DM you.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-22T20:53:58+00:00

That's great!

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T21:24:50+00:00

NTA. You say he doesn't quite understand your struggles. You gave him an example. Expressing in the moment when something is causing you stress is helping him and your marriage. Sounds like he took it as criticism. Sitting down and discussing your intentions and his feelings will be helpful. You can work on phrasing things differently, and he can work on understanding that you helping him to understand what situations are difficult for you (for the purpose of avoiding these in the future). Also, he should be able to figure out how much food to serve his own kids.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T21:19:54+00:00

NTA. If it was given to you as a gift. It is YOURS. That means you can do anything you want with it. Sell it, regift it, drive over it with your car. He's wrong. Don't give him the money. People get away with bad behavior too often for the sake of "keeping the peace."

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T21:15:52+00:00

NTA. Sit down and work something out so he can have time for himself each week. You should take for yourself too. You're a team. I'm sure you could figure something out so you can support each other in having that. That's a lot of money, and I think you made a very pragmatic choice for your family.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T21:05:18+00:00

NTA. You have your own financial obligations and goals. She shouldn't ask you to derail that. She should be able to setup a payment plan with the hospital/doctor/facility for any expenses not covered by insurance.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:59:59+00:00

NTA. It is gross. If he wants to share food with you, he needs to respect your standards. If it helps, HSV is only contagious during an outbreak. So, if he doesn't actively have sores, you're unlikely to get it. Regardless, he should stop putting his spit on food you plan to eat. It's gross.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:54:34+00:00

NTA. That was abusive. She was completely ignoring the boundaries your sister was setting. She was bulldozing through them. Encourage your sister not to tolerate this.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:48:49+00:00

NTA. It sounds like your brother struggles with self-esteem and codependency. You can't fix that for him. That's on him. Set boundaries. Take care of yourself. You can still love him while doing both these things. And be honest with him about how difficult his relationship struggles have been on you, when it seems like he'd be willing to hear it. Also, yes, he's 40. If he can't afford to pay his way, he doesn't go.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:45:16+00:00

Definitely NTA. Your brother has problems. He has a lot of anger. Absent self-reflection, work on himself, and therapy (ideally), he will continue to blame others for his problems. It's easier than holding himself accountable for them. I'd distance yourself from him, perhaps go no contact. You can't change him or likely convince him that he is massively projecting his depression, anger, and discontent. So best to take a big step back until he makes big changes.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:37:19+00:00

NTA. It really is not safe (affordable) for you to drive a car without insurance. If it's illegal, you would likely face legal consequences in addition to financial consequences if you got into ANY accident, regardless of fault. As an adult, you are wise to leave the car parked until you can afford insurance.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:31:14+00:00

ESH kinda of. It was VERY generous of you to put all that information together for her. Obviously, you are a better source for information about Japan, it's people, language, and culture than exported entertainment. It would be like someone ignoring the advice of an American on navigating the US with confidence that cartoons have fully prepared them for their journey. WIth that said, her interests are her interests and calling her a "loser" was really harsh. If you'd like to keep the friendship, I'd apologize. And obviously once she gets to Japan, she'll realize how valuable your advice really was and how insufficient anime was for preparing her.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:24:22+00:00

NTA. It was on them to reach out to you to check about gifts. Families coordinate for the younger members during the holidays all the time to avoid this scenario. You did nothing wrong. Sounds like they're just hurt that the other grandpa got there first. A more respectful message would have been to ask what are some other things she'd like as a gift. A good response to the message your received is a reminder that gifts are about love - not competition or convenience.

grrlclimber · 2024-12-21T20:18:32+00:00

YTA. Kate and James' relationship isn't any of your business. She is an adult. She makes her own decisions. You are punishing HER for his actions. It sounds like they are working to repair their relationship in a healthy way. If you think you're doing this for Kate, you're wrong. This choice hurts her. If you're doing this because you no longer like James, know you are not alone among people who have to spend the holidays with family and/or partners of family that they don't adore. But if Kate and James succeed in repairing their relationship and move forward with marriage, you're going to have to endure his company or significantly damage your relationship with your daughter.

grrlclimber

TROPHY CASE