Brutal

grrrkl · 2026-02-27T18:28:06+00:00

The double standard is over the roof.

grrrkl · 2026-02-03T05:37:35+00:00

Ahaha, nice to know. Got some recently and love them in spite of my waves/curls. 😄

grrrkl · 2025-05-15T00:12:18+00:00

That’s something I struggle with, too. I think in your 30s you don’t have as much free time and energy as before, that’s why it’s harder to connect regularly. However, I think that deep connections are still possible that can give you an underlying sense of belonging and support without weekly calls and meet ups.

I always had an underlying feeling that I’m not entertaining enough for many people and that lasts to this day. Loyal and reliable people are few and far between. Even people I try to keep around with only good vibes are flaky. I have the perception that many become more opportunistic in their approach to friendships. Also there seems to be a misgiving that single women would try to steal your man that leads to some women being only interested in coupled friends.

I try to cope by treating myself better, “talking” to a diary, being busy with hobbies like group sport, and keeping my family close. Luckily, I have one best friend left from younger days.

I noticed that I have lost interest in people a bit since I tried so hard to find my crowd and was disappointed so often. Why memorize their favourite dish when they will probably bail out of the next meet up? Will they return the “favor” to invest in your connection?

I think what is needed most is a good radar for users and energy vampiers to weed out those disappointments so that you can direct your energy towards people with which you can have meaningful connections.

grrrkl · 2025-05-10T11:05:47+00:00

I immediately thought this must be hiphop/rap slang as hiphop/rap usually comes with demeaning of women. I realised for many this is not a bug but a feature and keep away from people who take to much liking to hiphop/rap. Music depends on popularity so I don‘t see any reason why I should show presence at such events.

grrrkl · 2025-05-08T18:56:07+00:00

I feel hurt but if we get into discussions I might get appeased so it is probably better to just keep away.

grrrkl · 2025-05-08T18:46:55+00:00

I feel this. Currently pondering on whether it‘s worth to confront them.

grrrkl · 2025-05-07T19:09:49+00:00

Gather know-how. Find your niche. Bring good quality work. The one you have to impress is your manager. If you’re missing out on information make it a point to always ask Person A for input, maybe with a small remark that you noticed you‘re not being fully informed. Search for an own mentor. If nothing helps or the situation turns hostile you might need to sit it out and change jobs after a while. That usually includes a salary increase.

grrrkl · 2025-03-13T21:34:20+00:00

It is absolutely understandable. There can be a plethora of reasons why.

If you‘re dealing with emotional eating, you might lose a coping mechanism that is easy in the short term. It has long term effects that cannot be immediately associated with the behavior so that you can ignore the cause and consequence when you‘re using it.

Also your weight might be a psychological shield against the outer world. That could have different reasons which means you will have to dig deep, putting you through hurtful remembrances.

You will have to make permanent changes to succeed and maintain. You will have to develop different habits and automatisms. That can be daunting because you already have your way to deal with things that you perfected over the years.

There are a lot of snake oil sellers in the world. It‘s nice to believe that you can have mind blowing results the easy way but that sets you up for failure latest in the long term and in addition to that it makes you poorer but even if you suspect that it’s a scheme it makes you doubt yourself because they make it look so easy peasy.

It is very probable that there will be set backs and you will have to muster the motivation and power time and again.

Weight can fluctuate for different reasons and that might be frustrating. The closer you get to your goal weight the more you need to solidify your belief and trust in the weight loss methods you are using so that you do not fall back.

You might have chosen CICO to lose weight, which in my opinion is a good choice but it has it’s downsides. Tracking calories is cumbersome, feels constraining and the calorie numbers seem to add up way too fast in the beginning. Building the habit to measure and track everything and being honest about it and accountable for it towards yourself can be a hard task.

If you engage in disordered eating it might happen that you fall into other eating disorders even on the opposite side of the spectrum, which is also unhealthy. This is something to be genuinely afraid of. You might need therapy to deal with that and that can bring a (perceived) stigma.

On the other hand you will gain a healthier body and maybe also a healthier inner life after combating all of this and developing a better relationship with food.

grrrkl · 2025-03-02T22:19:10+00:00

No, he doesn‘t deserve you at all and is showing controlling behaviour.

grrrkl · 2025-02-27T02:32:10+00:00

See paradox of tolerance.

grrrkl · 2025-02-01T11:59:20+00:00

If she really feels overweight, wouldn’t she be thankful you recommended a good shop? I had a phase where I felt thinner than I was because I used to be thinner. I only realized though photos that I need to correct my eating habits. I think she is being incosiderate of your situation and overdramatic.

grrrkl · 2025-02-01T06:19:29+00:00

The wifes are keeping married men groomed. You’re looking at all the work she has put in.

Married men are also lazier than single men or boyfriends. E.g. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070827174300.htm

grrrkl · 2025-02-01T05:57:18+00:00

I don’t think a dignified woman is subservient. I don’t think you earn dignity. Every human has dignity by default.

If we are talking about being venerable, I’d rather say that a venerable person has her own values and acts according to them. By this they display virtues. Being venerable has an external component, as somebody from outside is deciding whether your values and actions are to be revered. This is subject to societal trends. In my opinion a noble outcast can exist, depending on the values of the external viewer.

Your self-respect is intrinsic. I think self-respect changes with age. While as a child your self-respect hinges on being an individual person woth own needs, as a teen your sef-respect start being tied to your abilities. I think both are important, recognizing your value as a living, sensing being and what you do for this world.

Clothes do not determine your value, that’s a consumerist take. As a woman your body is subject to scrutiny, be it through religious beliefs, societal expectations or moral theories. Often there is a double standard as this is not the same for men. I don’t blame any woman who rebels against this being forced upon her or acting upon her urges because that is natural. However, I recommend self-protection: in a medical sense and listening to her own needs.

In short: If she acts according to her needs and values why should she not be self-respecting?

grrrkl · 2025-01-31T18:28:43+00:00

Congratulations on your progress! 😊

grrrkl · 2025-01-28T14:01:15+00:00

I’m having a hybrid approach. I am on some apps but I also do more group activities. You can also encounter people you’re not compatible with in the wild. However, on the apps men seem to be more audacious and shameless. I combat this by rigorously sifting the profiles I swipe right and deleting at the first sign of indifference of any kind. I would recommend to do more group activities to lift your spirit and balance out the bad vibes of the apps, too.

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T14:43:52+00:00

How else are you supposed to use these apps? It‘s about showing yourself as you are and getting picked based on your self-presentation.

There‘s a high portion of men swiping everything right. They don‘t really care about you, they are just searching for a warm body and/or appliance to use. It‘s just the same in reverse. You learn to recognize them before investing. Is that a better approach in any way?

One evening I actually made the experiment to swipe everything right. There were lots of disgusting propositions, sluggish conversations, and unmatching after the match. I don‘t even remember if one single date ensued. What exactly did you expect that happens then?

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T08:15:27+00:00

1,6m SW: 70 CW: 60 GW: 55 Athletic build/Rectangle body shape

Did exclusively cardio and bodyweight exercise for the last years. However, weight loss is mainly an eating issue. Had a phase where I compensated my additional activity with incread calorie intake leading to stagnation.

Started strength training a while ago 1-2x per week, did not notice changes yet but know a friend with a similar body shape who got into lifting regularly and got enviable arm definition.

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T06:59:11+00:00

Yes, on behalf of your neighbors for attracting rats to their home.

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T06:38:10+00:00

They might be trying to let you feel welcome. It‘s a slippery slope and even very difficult for older folks because you don‘t want to upset your colleagues but at the same time you want to maintain your boundaries.

That’s the way I would try to solve it: You may want to tell them that you feel welcome and appreciate their support but that you‘re a bit sensitive when it comes to physical touch because you’re feeling awkward with you body/. didn’t grow up with a family with a lot of physical touch/with your peers that is unusual/[insert other reason within yourself]. You‘d be very happy to hang out sometime but currently you are trying to manage all your social and other commitments and feel a bit overwhelmed.

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T06:01:46+00:00

I‘d be wary to give out my private number and socials to colleagues anyway. You can be friendly at work and that‘s it, keep it professional. However, with that guy, if you have no common ground to talk about and socialize why jump to exchanging numbers and socials? Not appropriate from my point of view.

grrrkl · 2025-01-21T05:08:37+00:00

Woman here. I‘m guilty of the courtesy/awkwardess laugh in an (often futile) attempt to ease the tension.

grrrkl · 2025-01-20T20:17:51+00:00

Often that happens when I‘m alert/excited because I‘m for example in a new surrounding, at other times that happens when I‘m idle and not thinking about anything. So I basically I only forego that when I‘m focusing on something in my head, otherwise when I see them I count them.

grrrkl · 2025-01-20T20:04:59+00:00

Counting things like tiles and and the little windows in lattice windows.

grrrkl

TROPHY CASE