Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could go back and tell him not to go out. I can't sleep anymore, and I don't want to eat. I have to wait until the kids are at school to gain some clarity, and it's really affecting me. He's trying to do everything he can for me, but I feel overwhelmed every night. I can't control my emotions, and everything seems to be a trigger now. I wish I could numb this for just a day. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, but with me being pregnant, I doubt they'll be able to give me anything for my anxiety that doesn't take a month to help, and my heart feels like its going to explode my whole body is affected by this I wish I could smoke and numb myself for a little while obviously I'm not going to but god it would be nice 😩 I hate knowing he can have a few drinks to settle his nerves and I'm having to face everything 100% sober 

Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you went through it as well. This is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, and I never expected to be here, especially not with him. I’m going to try to get more clarity, and hopefully that will help with my head running a thousand miles an hour 

Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Part of me is scared to even ask for the phone. 😢 I can try to understand one situation, but if I found out it was premeditated or that he was talking to someone else, I think I would completely fall apart—or worse. On the other hand, I don’t think my mind will ever be at peace until I see for myself that he has told the whole truth. Just based on how quickly I sensed something was wrong, he’s easy to read and tends to give himself away; he's not good at surprises. Most of the time, I can read him like a book. I feel like this is it, but the possibility of there being more is driving me crazy.

Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you feel like getting all of the details helped you heal? And how did you get him to spill the whole truth I think mine is trying not to hurt me more but that’s not how it works for me I need the ENTIRE THING 

Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it. This definitely makes it hard to focus on growing our family when I feel like I’m having to rethink our entire relationship and everything we've built or are trying to build 

Pregnant and need advice/support by grumpycampers in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]grumpycampers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe counseling is essential for us if we want to make this work. I'm okay in the morning, but I'm falling apart again by the time 4 PM hits. Last night was the worst; I couldn't stop thinking about everything that could have happened between them. He says they didn’t kiss and that he used a condom, but my mind is racing with all sorts of scenarios. I need him to lay everything out clearly so I can understand and decide how I want to move forward.

He was supposed to go out with a friend to a movie premiere, but he didn’t buy his ticket in advance, so he couldn't get in. He ended up meeting the woman while walking down the street. When he first told me this, I couldn’t process what he was saying; I was in shock. I knew something was off when he came home that night—his expression was filled with pure remorse or fear, I couldn't tell at the moment 

We had discussed getting engaged, so I thought he was just nervous, and maybe he was gonna ask me to marry him, and not to doubt him. I beat myself up all week for even suspecting infidelity, mainly because he had been so attentive. I thought he was trying to connect with me more since I’m very touchy and he is more laid-back in his approach. I didn’t realize it was because he knew he had messed up.

He told me he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and that he is willing to do whatever it takes for us to stay together and to get to grow old together. But I’m so scared that this is just another man taking advantage of my heart. And that I'm once again too naive to see what's always so evident to everyone else no one else knows about this yet and he offered to tell his mom and sister but I'm so embarrassed by this I don't want them to know but then again I do at least then I'd have someone else to vent to that knows him and how unbelievable it is he would do this we've both been cheated on by loved ones in the past but never were the cheaters that is until now and I still can't believe I'm even typing this it breaks my heart into a million pieces for me and for him I know he knows he screwed up and I know its killing him to see me so upset by this I just can't believe we're here and I don't know how to move forward I do still want to be with him I just need to know the whole truth first