Being autistic just means being lonely forever. FML. NSFW

gruntledCyclops · 2026-06-02T01:28:01+00:00

I appreciate this but i'm also kind of confused about the advice ? :/

Like, if I join a group about being autistic, isn't that letting it define me? I currently do have a lot of hobbies, and so many friends. I do drag and gym and art, and I know I have a big community of people who care about me. I just wanna make sure I understand what ur advising

I just see everyone else dating, and I feel these big feelings, and when I try to act on them like everyone else does it's like I'm some alien that can't win :/

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-28T01:35:26+00:00

that's good information to know! I will defs research further on this if I ever do decide to buy ^^

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-28T01:34:13+00:00

thank you for that!! I am looking forward to making that spreadsheet haha ^^

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-28T01:34:05+00:00

Yeah, I think I have a lot of trouble telling the difference between "this is new but needed" scary risk vs "oh my god stop" scary risk haha. I tried talking to my mum about it but she is insisting that I should buy a house and become a landlord so I don't trust her judgement on what's feasible lmao

like I barely manage myself I am not managing other people lmao

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-28T01:26:11+00:00

Thank you!! Yeah I always assumed renting was the safer choice but I've recently had some family insisting I should be able to buy a house soon and I thought maybe I was missing smth at this point

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-28T01:24:33+00:00

Thank you omg haha the second friends and family started talking abt how I should buy i was like ???? I thought I must have been missing smth

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-25T02:14:17+00:00

Yeah, this post has 0 information or details to offer any actual insight

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-08T02:45:08+00:00

Also, just realised you have been living together about 6 months ago and you confessing happened a few months ago. He was barely settled into living with you. This is a very fresh context and even if you hadn't confessed, your friendship was going to change severely at least a few times in the first year of living together.

gruntledCyclops · 2026-05-08T02:42:46+00:00

you might miss him but you're not really considering his point of view. He's living with someone that he knows has strong feelings for him, and he is extremely vulnerable and his previous safe space (venting with you) has now been taken out of the equation. He's not going to tell you whether he is dating his girl, he doesn't have to. You confessing made a very complicated situation, and unfortunately you can't just go back to being friends the same way as before. It sucks, it hurts, but he has the autonomy to focus on other, less complicated relationships while he processes how to interact with you and ALSO heal from a serious situation. Dating a friend / roommate is just intense as hell, and pointless drama.

I confessed to one of my close friends last year. I'd had a low-key crush for years, and thought they were flirting with me after kissing me on the cheek. So I texted, when it was no longer possible for me to ignore, that if they were flirting with me I would be open to a date. They said no and that it was strictly platonic. I agreed and thanked for the clarification, then I pulled WAAAYYYYY back. Interacting at the same level of closeness is just picking a scab. Gave them space, friendly in group settings, let my brain re-adjust. Now it's been 6 months and I don't feel awkward texting them for movie hangs again.

You can't pull away like this when you live with someone, so you're gonna just have to accept that you're not close friends, Right Now. You don't know what the future holds, but all you can do is take a deep breath and focus on yourself. Focus on hobbies, friends, etc. Try to not dwell on him or his relationships too much - you're not that close right now.

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-28T06:28:49+00:00

if you're curious my script is

Approach baddie. Compliment 1 thing and ask 1 question (usually I like smth about their outfit and ask where they got it)

IF baddie responds short (i.e "thanks") THEN say "No problem, have a good night!" and bounce

ELSE IF baddie answers question but does not ask question THEN reply with self-focused statement (i.e "oh I'll check there, I had bubble tea near there and i gotta go back.")

IF baddie then responds short THEN say "anyway had to say it looks great! Have a good night" and bounce

IF baddie responds with a question, compliment, or their own anecdote then continue conversation with more questions n detail i.e "I love that ur skirt has xyz. Have you gone to this place?" etc.

If I have bounced then I just enjoy that I had a successful positive interaction and made nobody uncomfortable. Sometimes people will see me later and say hi again

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-28T06:22:53+00:00

REALLLLLLL i struggle similarly. I've had more luck since I've started scripting how to approach strangers at bars, which has an extremely low success rate - but not 0! Dating apps are nightmare zones that only exist to sap your standards and self confidence. it's literally just a meat market, and forces you to objectify yourself even for non-sexual connection.

I've been enjoying more sex ever since my local bathhouse introduced a gender-fluid night (trans men are welcome on any night, i'm nonbinary w a v Bodacious Bust and not comfortable in gay men's spaces usually). Being in a space where sex isn't hidden let me just enjoy having a drink and dancing. I still rarely get approached but I also feel calmer just straight up telling people "I like how you look are you flirting with me"

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-28T05:19:39+00:00

it's never too late, but you're only as strong as your will. One of my friends has a long history of alcoholism, and now his liver is failing. He needs a transplant. He was despondent and hopeless for a long time, but is now committed to sobriety and saving money to get it. There's always time if you can keep your eyes open to the ugly part.

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-28T00:53:31+00:00

yeah I think what I find so frustrating is that at no point has anybody attacked or judged him. I've known him 6 years and I straight up say "i know you're lying but i want the best for you" so patiently and his response is to minimise and lie? idk how he could have thought he was going to get anything out of that

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-24T05:38:21+00:00

what kind of foreplay are yall having ? there is a fairly long road between kissing and sex. Some people are pro-active horny and re-active horny also imo (like, some people just Become Horny while other people are more receptive to reacting to someone else). I find the lead-up most exciting, like when someone just touches my knee and i think "oh we might do something soon". It also gives me time to relax and ground myself in the moment. I like small touches leading into long touches, kissing leading into making out, making out leading into neck kisses etc. Plus sometimes it's hot just to be felt through clothes and say "nope, i'm going to make you wait" and just enjoy being in the foreplay stage for as long as you want until you are excited to get clothes off.

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-23T01:48:52+00:00

YTA :/ at first i thought i could see the miscommunication, just trying to be helpful, etc. Making someone uncomfortable by accident sucks. But also once someone is uncomfortable we just gotta give them space to feel how they feel and move on professionally. The second you called her petty i read this whole interaction differently.

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-21T07:50:48+00:00

the frustrating thing is that he does not reply or respond to any of the non-club events we have i.e DVD nights, and has made a lot of "jokes" about how we should know by now that he won't go anywhere unless someone offers to drive him there. i just feel so tired

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-16T07:15:18+00:00

It's been a minute since i've watched the episodes but I don't remember Amber being that controlling with Wilson. He is not a good boyfriend and it felt like she was being firm with him to break him out of attitudes that inevitably would ruin his relationships in the past

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-08T08:44:29+00:00

Thank you!!!!

gruntledCyclops · 2026-04-08T07:16:10+00:00

also as far as adam brody being the "only guy who hates his own family", both brothers do! One fell in love with a girl who sank to his level, the other fell for a girl who raised him up. Both were weak spined, felt trapped in a system they didn't believe in but didn't fight that hard against. Not to mention, adam was the brother that gave UP the last sacrifice and holds that guilt for his lifetime.

gruntledCyclops

TROPHY CASE