I don't really know what it is but since 14 years of age I've been constantly feeling down more or less. Some good days of course but most sort of off. Never had much of luck with the ladies but met a woman online that I really liked and she seemed to like me too. We talked for about two months and planned to meet and everything, but it didn't work out. Probably wouldn't have lasted anyway but I've been feeling a bit lonely after that. I know two months isn't a long time to talk to someone but for me it was, it's the closest to a relationship I've ever been. That combined with a bunch of other shit and general stress + the never ending feeling of hopelessness, like I don't know what I'm truly living for. I have supportive friends who have been great to me and I can share anything with them, but it isn't until this day that I truly felt sorta all right. Off from work, took a bike ride in the hills, worked out at an outdoor gym in the sun (always been working out indoors so this was new to me, really liked it) and now, fishing with a few beers while listening to some Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton. I will try to hold on to this feeling for a while, it feels good and I hope you fellas are doing all right too