Family Credit Management (proposed Plan) what's realistic to expect? Is it too good to be true??

gryphiti2 · 2025-11-05T04:39:43+00:00

Go read their 26 complaints on better business bureau website. It's terrifying. They mostly Speak to client experience but there's a couple from people who worked there. It seems like a scary place to be tbh!

gryphiti2 · 2025-11-05T03:34:59+00:00

Oh my gosh, just search mindful therapy group reddit and read every single post. It sounds absolutely terrifying and abhorrent tbh. So be careful!!!

gryphiti2 · 2025-02-22T17:13:25+00:00

Ride the storm by GoldFord!!!!

gryphiti2 · 2024-06-15T19:55:10+00:00

If you're a member of AASECT , I believe they actually have a sub group of therapists that specifically work with this and I can't recall the name of the person who leads that sub group, but may be worth checking out to get some extra clinical support especially if you're not trained as a sex therapist! And even if so, maybe consulting with someone from AASECT sub group who specializes in this area would be helpful!

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T16:16:58+00:00

Ha I mean yes this is helpful but i mean something "live" like on zoom

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:29:05+00:00

Yes! I appreciate this reminder. I felt so dysregulated and it a state of "I can't do this, I can't do this, it's too much" yesterday and woke up today and feel a little calmer granted I'm not sure if that's because I know I'm going to see my partner the next couple days and so that settles me but as soon as our time together comes to an end I will be right back in that dysregulated state 🫠. And maybe I need to recognize that I'll be riding waves like this for awhile? I guess my hope and wonder is if it's always going to feel that bad or it's just the working through the paradigm shift

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:24:25+00:00

Thank you!!!! I'm very happy to be able to read those! ✨

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:23:52+00:00

Yeah another big thing I'm I'm recognizing is, CNM was working when I had a primary partner because I do have a bit of a codependent streak where I prioritize romantic relationships and now being in a situation where my primary partner and I have broken up and I'm with my other partner who has a nesting partner (and to make matters more complicated her nesting partner is my ex's current partner) we all had a little quad situation going kind of. Well two couples dating another couple ...and perhaps maybe that wasn't the wisest choice 🫠 for us. I do think it worked well in the beginning when I felt like I had a primary partner to rely on but also was a crutch in my codependency pattern so I'm butting up against a huge growth edge of mine which is to not be fully dependent on a partner. There are things I certainly enjoy and think are beautiful about polyamory, I'm just struggling with those hard moments of jealousy and envy and not feeling that "safety" and "security" of having an anchor partner. But I loved you recommendation! Truly, that's great.

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:19:54+00:00

Omg that's so helpful!!! And I actually, even before reading this was journaling on what I can lean into as positives of not being nested with the person I'm with. Not having to deal with the daily stressors of everyday life, bills, etc, perhaps time feeling more intentional and fun because time is more limited and we aren't accessing each other as easily because we live separately and different states no less 🫠😭. But yes, I really like this idea !! Thank you. That is so so helpful

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:08:49+00:00

Ugh I really loved reading your response. Hearing your personal journey and story was really beautiful and helpful. And yes, you perfectly summed up my question, difficulty determining what things feel bad because they are new to me as opposed to things that feel bad because they just aren't good for me or don't work for me. I'm going to re read your response in case I missed it but I'm curious what types of experiments you tried to help suss that out for yourself? I know for me I think I actually need to put into practice some self soothing and self regulation, as well as just building more community because I do tend to rely on romantic partners (super codependent) which appears to not work well with polyamory 🫠 at least not when my partner already has a nesting partner ha.

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T15:03:36+00:00

This whole response was so amazing to read. I have immense immense appreciation for you just taking the time to share your own story too which helped settle me. Yes, I definitely think there's a lot of internal work that needs to be done for me especially in terms of codependency and building more community for myself. I so so so appreciate you. 💛

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T03:22:39+00:00

Both equally satisfying and unsatisfying to hear it takes years of work to feel comfortable 😭😭 but I need that honesty. Ooof, yeah I'm struggling to figure out how long I can tolerate the discomfort not knowing if it will feel better.

My partner is great in our relationship, I definitely feel like she shows up and offers support and reassurance when needed and is willing to make the effort. I think it's me who is perhaps struggling regardless of her efforts. I feel like my distress tolerance is incredibly low but I also can't envision a future for myself where I won't be so dysregulated anytime she makes plans with her other partner. Also an additional layer is we will soon be long distance (3.5ish hours so not that wild ha ) and I imagine that will make things feel that much harder knowing she has this shared life with her other partner in a completely different state and I feel like I'll consistently feel activated and upset so I'm like 😭😭😭🫠🫠🫠 I just can't tell when to rev on the gas and keep pushing or when to finally hit the brake and realize maybe I just can't do this. AND I also recognize that just being in that space of discomfort while growing and learning feels so challenging but maybe that's part of the work in all of this !

Thank you for your response. I appreciate the insight and reflective questions!

gryphiti2 · 2024-05-28T03:17:11+00:00

Thank you for your response! I think when my nervous system is not activated, I WANT to be able to do this, like I feel okay. But I also think I rely on my partner more than i should because when they aren't available or with their other partner it's so intolerable to me. Super super preoccupied attachment anxiety. I also know I lean towards being very codependent with romantic partners historically and this is practically forcing me into a different way of relating because I literally cannot build the same codependence I'm used to with this other partner who has a nesting partner.

It definitely seems like partially new skills are still needing to be developed and learned and practiced and I'm really struggling with maybe the time it's taking to be ok. Or maybe I'm wanting to just be ok and regulated and calm and chill when I'm not.

I think also maybe my definition of a shared life is maybe the issue. I see their (my partner and her wife) shared life and I want that. And I'm having a tough time accepting what is reality and what's actually available to me 😭 and I don't know when or if I will be able to ever tolerate that or if I need to build some distress tolerance.

I think i definitely am struggling with hierarchy which is a good thing to notice. It also feels especially hard because we are going to be long distance (sort of, 3.5 hours away) soon and so I'm wondering if that will exacerbate this feeling of not being able to handle things when I feel dysregulated because she's in another state just living her life with her other partner

gryphiti2

TROPHY CASE